Read Ebook: The Comedy of Errors by Shakespeare William

Font size: 10 px 15 px 20 px 25 px 30 px 35 px

Background color: BlackWhiteGrayLight GrayDark GrayDim Gray

Text color: BlackWhiteGrayLight GrayDark GrayDim Gray

Apply/Save settings

Ebook has 92 lines and 20575 words, and 2 pages

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare The Comedy of Errors

November, 1997

Please mail to:

THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

by William Shakespeare

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

SOLINUS, Duke of Ephesus AEGEON, a merchant of Syracuse

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS twin brothers and sons to ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Aegion and Aemelia

DROMIO OF EPHESUS twin brothers, and attendants on DROMIO OF SYRACUSE the two Antipholuses

BALTHAZAR, a merchant ANGELO, a goldsmith FIRST MERCHANT, friend to Antipholus of Syracuse SECOND MERCHANT, to whom Angelo is a debtor PINCH, a schoolmaster

AEMILIA, wife to AEgeon; an abbess at Ephesus ADRIANA, wife to Antipholus of Ephesus LUCIANA, her sister LUCE, servant to Adriana

A COURTEZAN

Gaoler, Officers, Attendants

SCENE: Ephesus

THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

A hall in the DUKE'S palace

Enter the DUKE OF EPHESUS, AEGEON, the Merchant of Syracuse, GAOLER, OFFICERS, and other ATTENDANTS

SCENE 2

The mart

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, and FIRST MERCHANT

FIRST MERCHANT. Therefore, give out you are of Epidamnum, Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate. This very day a Syracusian merchant Is apprehended for arrival here; And, not being able to buy out his life, According to the statute of the town, Dies ere the weary sun set in the west. There is your money that I had to keep. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host. And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee. Within this hour it will be dinner-time; Till that, I'll view the manners of the town, Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings, And then return and sleep within mine inn; For with long travel I am stiff and weary. Get thee away. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Many a man would take you at your word, And go indeed, having so good a mean.

Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Here comes the almanac of my true date. What now? How chance thou art return'd so soon? DROMIO OF EPHESUS. Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late. The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit; The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell- My mistress made it one upon my cheek; She is so hot because the meat is cold, The meat is cold because you come not home, You come not home because you have no stomach, You have no stomach, having broke your fast; But we, that know what 'tis to fast and pray, Are penitent for your default to-day. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Stop in your wind, sir; tell me this, I pray: Where have you left the money that I gave you? DROMIO OF EPHESUS. O-Sixpence that I had a Wednesday last To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper? The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. I am not in a sportive humour now; Tell me, and dally not, where is the money? We being strangers here, how dar'st thou trust So great a charge from thine own custody? DROMIO OF EPHESUS. I pray you jest, sir, as you sit at dinner. I from my mistress come to you in post; If I return, I shall be post indeed, For she will score your fault upon my pate. Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock, And strike you home without a messenger. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season; Reserve them till a merrier hour than this. Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee? DROMIO OF EPHESUS. To me, sir? Why, you gave no gold to me. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness, And tell me how thou hast dispos'd thy charge. DROMIO OF EPHESUS. My charge was but to fetch you from the mart Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner. My mistress and her sister stays for you. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Now, as I am a Christian, answer me In what safe place you have bestow'd my money, Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours, That stands on tricks when I am undispos'd. Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me? DROMIO OF EPHESUS. I have some marks of yours upon my pate, Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders, But not a thousand marks between you both. If I should pay your worship those again, Perchance you will not bear them patiently. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Thy mistress' marks! What mistress, slave, hast thou? DROMIO OF EPHESUS. Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix; She that doth fast till you come home to dinner, And prays that you will hie you home to dinner. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face, Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave. DROMIO OF EPHESUS. What mean you, sir? For God's sake hold your hands! Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels.

ACT Il. SCENE 1

The house of ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Enter ADRIANA, wife to ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, with LUCIANA, her sister

ADRIANA. Neither my husband nor the slave return'd That in such haste I sent to seek his master! Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock. LUCIANA. Perhaps some merchant hath invited him, And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner; Good sister, let us dine, and never fret. A man is master of his liberty; Time is their master, and when they see time, They'll go or come. If so, be patient, sister. ADRIANA. Why should their liberty than ours be more? LUCIANA. Because their business still lies out o' door. ADRIANA. Look when I serve him so, he takes it ill. LUCIANA. O, know he is the bridle of your will. ADRIANA. There's none but asses will be bridled so. LUCIANA. Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe. There's nothing situate under heaven's eye But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky. The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls, Are their males' subjects, and at their controls. Man, more divine, the master of all these, Lord of the wide world and wild wat'ry seas, Indu'd with intellectual sense and souls, Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls, Are masters to their females, and their lords; Then let your will attend on their accords. ADRIANA. This servitude makes you to keep unwed. LUCIANA. Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed. ADRIANA. But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway. LUCIANA. Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey. ADRIANA. How if your husband start some other where? LUCIANA. Till he come home again, I would forbear. ADRIANA. Patience unmov'd! no marvel though she pause: They can be meek that have no other cause. A wretched soul, bruis'd with adversity, We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; But were we burd'ned with like weight of pain, As much, or more, we should ourselves complain. So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee, With urging helpless patience would relieve me; But if thou live to see like right bereft, This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left. LUCIANA. Well, I will marry one day, but to try. Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh.

Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS

SCENE 2

The mart

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA

Before the house of ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, DROMIO OF EPHESUS, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR

Enter LUCE, within

LUCE. What a coil is there, Dromio? Who are those at the gate? DROMIO OF EPHESUS. Let my master in, Luce. LUCE. Faith, no, he comes too late; And so tell your master. DROMIO OF EPHESUS. O Lord, I must laugh! Have at you with a proverb: Shall I set in my staff? LUCE. Have at you with another: that's-when? can you tell? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. If thy name be called Luce -Luce, thou hast answer'd him well. ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. Do you hear, you minion? You'll let us in, I hope? LUCE. I thought to have ask'd you. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. And you said no. DROMIO OF EPHESUS. SO, Come, help: well struck! there was blow for blow. ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. Thou baggage, let me in. LUCE. Can you tell for whose sake? DROMIO OF EPHESUS. Master, knock the door hard. LUCE. Let him knock till it ache. ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. You'll cry for this, minion, if beat the door down. LUCE. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?

Enter ADRIANA, within

SCENE 2

Before the house of ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Enter LUCIANA with ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

LUCIANA. And may it be that you have quite forgot A husband's office? Shall, Antipholus, Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot? Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous? If you did wed my sister for her wealth, Then for her wealth's sake use her with more kindness; Or, if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth; Muffle your false love with some show of blindness; Let not my sister read it in your eye; Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator; Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty; Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger; Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted; Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint; Be secret-false. What need she be acquainted? What simple thief brags of his own attaint? 'Tis double wrong to truant with your bed And let her read it in thy looks at board; Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed; Ill deeds is doubled with an evil word. Alas, poor women! make us but believe, Being compact of credit, that you love us; Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve; We in your motion turn, and you may move us. Then, gentle brother, get you in again; Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife. 'Tis holy sport to be a little vain When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Sweet mistress-what your name is else, I know not, Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine- Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not Than our earth's wonder-more than earth, divine. Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak; Lay open to my earthy-gross conceit, Smoth'red in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, The folded meaning of your words' deceit. Against my soul's pure truth why labour you To make it wander in an unknown field? Are you a god? Would you create me new? Transform me, then, and to your pow'r I'll yield. But if that I am I, then well I know Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe; Far more, far more, to you do I decline. O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note, To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears. Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote; Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, And as a bed I'll take them, and there he; And in that glorious supposition think He gains by death that hath such means to die. Let Love, being light, be drowned if she sink. LUCIANA. What, are you mad, that you do reason so? ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Not mad, but mated; how, I do not know. LUCIANA. It is a fault that springeth from your eye. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by. LUCIANA. Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night. LUCIANA. Why call you me love? Call my sister so. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Thy sister's sister. LUCIANA. That's my sister. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. No; It is thyself, mine own self's better part; Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart, My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim, My sole earth's heaven, and my heaven's claim. LUCIANA. All this my sister is, or else should be. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Call thyself sister, sweet, for I am thee; Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life; Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife. Give me thy hand. LUCIANA. O, soft, sir, hold you still; I'll fetch my sister to get her good will.

Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Why, how now, Dromio! Where run'st thou so fast? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Do you know me, sir? Am I Dromio? Am I your man? Am I myself? ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. What woman's man, and how besides thyself? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman-one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. What claim lays she to thee? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. What is she? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of without he say 'Sir-reverence.' I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. How dost thou mean a fat marriage? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to but to make a lamp of her and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she'll burn week longer than the whole world. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. What complexion is she of? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Swart, like my shoe; but her face nothing like so clean kept; for why, she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. That's a fault that water will mend. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. What's her name? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Nell, sir; but her name and three quarters, that's an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Then she bears some breadth? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. In what part of her body stands Ireland? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Where Scotland? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. I found it by the barrenness, hard in the palm of the hand. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Where France? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. In her forehead, arm'd and reverted, making war against her heir. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Where England? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them; but I guess it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Where Spain? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Faith, I saw it not, but I felt it hot in her breath. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Where America, the Indies? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. O, sir, upon her nose, an o'er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole armadoes of caracks to be ballast at her nose. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. O, Sir, I did not look so low. To conclude: this drudge or diviner laid claim to me; call'd me Dromio; swore I was assur'd to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as, the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amaz'd, ran from her as a witch. And, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, She had transform'd me to a curtal dog, and made me turn i' th' wheel. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Go hie thee presently post to the road; An if the wind blow any way from shore, I will not harbour in this town to-night. If any bark put forth, come to the mart, Where I will walk till thou return to me. If every one knows us, and we know none, 'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack and be gone. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. As from a bear a man would run for life, So fly I from her that would be my wife.

Enter ANGELO with the chain

ANGELO. Master Antipholus! ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Ay, that's my name. ANGELO. I know it well, sir. Lo, here is the chain. I thought to have ta'en you at the Porpentine; The chain unfinish'd made me stay thus long. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. What is your will that I shall do with this? ANGELO. What please yourself, sir; I have made it for you. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not. ANGELO. Not once nor twice, but twenty times you have. Go home with it, and please your wife withal; And soon at supper-time I'll visit you, And then receive my money for the chain. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE. I pray you, sir, receive the money now, For fear you ne'er see chain nor money more. ANGELO. You are a merry man, sir; fare you well.

A public place

Enter SECOND MERCHANT, ANGELO, and an OFFICER

SECOND MERCHANT. You know since Pentecost the sum is due, And since I have not much importun'd you; Nor now I had not, but that I am bound To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage. Therefore make present satisfaction, Or I'll attach you by this officer. ANGELO. Even just the sum that I do owe to you Is growing to me by Antipholus; And in the instant that I met with you He had of me a chain; at five o'clock I shall receive the money for the same. Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house, I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, and DROMIO OF EPHESUS, from the COURTEZAN'S

OFFICER. That labour may you save; see where he comes. ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow Among my wife and her confederates, For locking me out of my doors by day. But, soft, I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone; Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me. DROMIO OF EPHESUS. I buy a thousand pound a year; I buy a rope.

Share on: WhatsApp @Hash Facebook Tweet