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Ebook has 154 lines and 42294 words, and 4 pages

PANDARUS. She's making her ready, she'll come straight; you must be witty now. She does so blush, and fetches her wind so short, as if she were fray'd with a sprite. I'll fetch her. It is the prettiest villain; she fetches her breath as short as a new-ta'en sparrow. Exit TROILUS. Even such a passion doth embrace my bosom. My heart beats thicker than a feverous pulse, And all my powers do their bestowing lose, Like vassalage at unawares encount'ring The eye of majesty.

Re-enter PANDARUS With CRESSIDA

PANDARUS. Come, come, what need you blush? Shame's a baby.-Here she is now; swear the oaths now to her that you have sworn to me.- What, are you gone again? You must be watch'd ere you be made tame, must you? Come your ways, come your ways; an you draw backward, we'll put you i' th' fills.-Why do you not speak to her?-Come, draw this curtain and let's see your picture. Alas the day, how loath you are to offend daylight! An 'twere dark, you'd close sooner. So, so; rub on, and kiss the mistress How now, a kiss in fee-farm! Build there, carpenter; the air is sweet. Nay, you shall fight your hearts out ere I part you. The falcon as the tercel, for all the ducks i' th' river. Go to, go to. TROILUS. You have bereft me of all words, lady. PANDARUS. Words pay no debts, give her deeds; but she'll bereave you o' th' deeds too, if she call your activity in question. What, billing again? Here's 'In witness whereof the parties interchangeably.' Come in, come in; I'll go get a fire. Exit CRESSIDA. Will you walk in, my lord? TROILUS. O Cressid, how often have I wish'd me thus! CRESSIDA. Wish'd, my lord! The gods grant-O my lord! TROILUS. What should they grant? What makes this pretty abruption? What too curious dreg espies my sweet lady in the fountain of our love? CRESSIDA. More dregs than water, if my fears have eyes. TROILUS. Fears make devils of cherubims; they never see truly. CRESSIDA. Blind fear, that seeing reason leads, finds safer footing than blind reason stumbling without fear. To fear the worst oft cures the worse. TROILUS. O, let my lady apprehend no fear! In all Cupid's pageant there is presented no monster. CRESSIDA. Nor nothing monstrous neither? TROILUS. Nothing, but our undertakings when we vow to weep seas, live in fire, cat rocks, tame tigers; thinking it harder for our mistress to devise imposition enough than for us to undergo any difficulty imposed. This is the monstruosity in love, lady, that the will is infinite, and the execution confin'd; that the desire is boundless, and the act a slave to limit. CRESSIDA. They say all lovers swear more performance than they are able, and yet reserve an ability that they never perform; vowing more than the perfection of ten, and discharging less than the tenth part of one. They that have the voice of lions and the act of hares, are they not monsters? TROILUS. Are there such? Such are not we. Praise us as we are tasted, allow us as we prove; our head shall go bare till merit crown it. No perfection in reversion shall have a praise in present. We will not name desert before his birth; and, being born, his addition shall be humble. Few words to fair faith: Troilus shall be such to Cressid as what envy can say worst shall be a mock for his truth; and what truth can speak truest not truer than Troilus. CRESSIDA. Will you walk in, my lord?

Re-enter PANDARUS

PANDARUS. What, blushing still? Have you not done talking yet? CRESSIDA. Well, uncle, what folly I commit, I dedicate to you. PANDARUS. I thank you for that; if my lord get a boy of you, you'll give him me. Be true to my lord; if he flinch, chide me for it. TROILUS. You know now your hostages: your uncle's word and my firm faith. PANDARUS. Nay, I'll give my word for her too: our kindred, though they be long ere they are wooed, they are constant being won; they are burs, I can tell you; they'll stick where they are thrown. CRESSIDA. Boldness comes to me now and brings me heart. Prince Troilus, I have lov'd you night and day For many weary months. TROILUS. Why was my Cressid then so hard to win? CRESSIDA. Hard to seem won; but I was won, my lord, With the first glance that ever-pardon me. If I confess much, you will play the tyrant. I love you now; but till now not so much But I might master it. In faith, I lie; My thoughts were like unbridled children, grown Too headstrong for their mother. See, we fools! Why have I blabb'd? Who shall be true to us, When we are so unsecret to ourselves? But, though I lov'd you well, I woo'd you not; And yet, good faith, I wish'd myself a man, Or that we women had men's privilege Of speaking first. Sweet, bid me hold my tongue, For in this rapture I shall surely speak The thing I shall repent. See, see, your silence, Cunning in dumbness, from my weakness draws My very soul of counsel. Stop my mouth. TROILUS. And shall, albeit sweet music issues thence. PANDARUS. Pretty, i' faith. CRESSIDA. My lord, I do beseech you, pardon me; 'Twas not my purpose thus to beg a kiss. I am asham'd. O heavens! what have I done? For this time will I take my leave, my lord. TROILUS. Your leave, sweet Cressid! PANDARUS. Leave! An you take leave till to-morrow morning- CRESSIDA. Pray you, content you. TROILUS. What offends you, lady? CRESSIDA. Sir, mine own company. TROILUS. You cannot shun yourself. CRESSIDA. Let me go and try. I have a kind of self resides with you; But an unkind self, that itself will leave To be another's fool. I would be gone. Where is my wit? I know not what I speak. TROILUS. Well know they what they speak that speak so wisely. CRESSIDA. Perchance, my lord, I show more craft than love; And fell so roundly to a large confession To angle for your thoughts; but you are wise- Or else you love not; for to be wise and love Exceeds man's might; that dwells with gods above. TROILUS. O that I thought it could be in a woman- As, if it can, I will presume in you- To feed for aye her lamp and flames of love; To keep her constancy in plight and youth, Outliving beauty's outward, with a mind That doth renew swifter than blood decays! Or that persuasion could but thus convince me That my integrity and truth to you Might be affronted with the match and weight Of such a winnowed purity in love. How were I then uplifted! but, alas, I am as true as truth's simplicity, And simpler than the infancy of truth. CRESSIDA. In that I'll war with you. TROILUS. O virtuous fight, When right with right wars who shall be most right! True swains in love shall in the world to come Approve their truth by Troilus, when their rhymes, Full of protest, of oath, and big compare, Want similes, truth tir'd with iteration- As true as steel, as plantage to the moon, As sun to day, as turtle to her mate, As iron to adamant, as earth to th' centre- Yet, after all comparisons of truth, As truth's authentic author to be cited, 'As true as Troilus' shall crown up the verse And sanctify the numbers. CRESSIDA. Prophet may you be! If I be false, or swerve a hair from truth, When time is old and hath forgot itself, When waterdrops have worn the stones of Troy, And blind oblivion swallow'd cities up, And mighty states characterless are grated To dusty nothing-yet let memory From false to false, among false maids in love, Upbraid my falsehood when th' have said 'As false As air, as water, wind, or sandy earth, As fox to lamb, or wolf to heifer's calf, Pard to the hind, or stepdame to her son'- Yea, let them say, to stick the heart of falsehood, 'As false as Cressid.' PANDARUS. Go to, a bargain made; seal it, seal it; I'll be the witness. Here I hold your hand; here my cousin's. If ever you prove false one to another, since I have taken such pains to bring you together, let all pitiful goers- between be call'd to the world's end after my name-call them all Pandars; let all constant men be Troiluses, all false women Cressids, and all brokers between Pandars. Say 'Amen.' TROILUS. Amen. CRESSIDA. Amen. PANDARUS. Amen. Whereupon I will show you a chamber and a bed; which bed, because it shall not speak of your pretty encounters, press it to death. Away! And Cupid grant all tongue-tied maidens here, Bed, chamber, pander, to provide this gear! Exeunt

Flourish. Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, DIOMEDES, NESTOR, AJAX, MENELAUS, and CALCHAS

CALCHAS. Now, Princes, for the service I have done, Th' advantage of the time prompts me aloud To call for recompense. Appear it to your mind That, through the sight I bear in things to come, I have abandon'd Troy, left my possession, Incurr'd a traitor's name, expos'd myself From certain and possess'd conveniences To doubtful fortunes, sequest'ring from me all That time, acquaintance, custom, and condition, Made tame and most familiar to my nature; And here, to do you service, am become As new into the world, strange, unacquainted- I do beseech you, as in way of taste, To give me now a little benefit Out of those many regist'red in promise, Which you say live to come in my behalf. AGAMEMNON. What wouldst thou of us, Troyan? Make demand. CALCHAS. You have a Troyan prisoner call'd Antenor, Yesterday took; Troy holds him very dear. Oft have you-often have you thanks therefore- Desir'd my Cressid in right great exchange, Whom Troy hath still denied; but this Antenor, I know, is such a wrest in their affairs That their negotiations all must slack Wanting his manage; and they will almost Give us a prince of blood, a son of Priam, In change of him. Let him be sent, great Princes, And he shall buy my daughter; and her presence Shall quite strike off all service I have done In most accepted pain. AGAMEMNON. Let Diomedes bear him, And bring us Cressid hither. Calchas shall have What he requests of us. Good Diomed, Furnish you fairly for this interchange; Withal, bring word if Hector will to-morrow Be answer'd in his challenge. Ajax is ready. DIOMEDES. This shall I undertake; and 'tis a burden Which I am proud to bear. Exeunt DIOMEDES and CALCHAS

ACHILLES and PATROCLUS stand in their tent

Enter THERSITES

A labour sav'd! THERSITES. A wonder! ACHILLES. What? THERSITES. Ajax goes up and down the field asking for himself. ACHILLES. How so? THERSITES. He must fight singly to-morrow with Hector, and is so prophetically proud of an heroical cudgelling that he raves in saying nothing. ACHILLES. How can that be? THERSITES. Why, 'a stalks up and down like a peacock-a stride and a stand; ruminaies like an hostess that hath no arithmetic but her brain to set down her reckoning, bites his lip with a politic regard, as who should say 'There were wit in this head, an 'twould out'; and so there is; but it lies as coldly in him as fire in a flint, which will not show without knocking. The man's undone for ever; for if Hector break not his neck i' th' combat, he'll break't himself in vainglory. He knows not me. I said 'Good morrow, Ajax'; and he replies 'Thanks, Agamemnon.' What think you of this man that takes me for the general? He's grown a very land fish, languageless, a monster. A plague of opinion! A man may wear it on both sides, like leather jerkin. ACHILLES. Thou must be my ambassador to him, Thersites. THERSITES. Who, I? Why, he'll answer nobody; he professes not answering. Speaking is for beggars: he wears his tongue in's arms. I will put on his presence. Let Patroclus make his demands to me, you shall see the pageant of Ajax. ACHILLES. To him, Patroclus. Tell him I humbly desire the valiant Ajax to invite the most valorous Hector to come unarm'd to my tent; and to procure safe conduct for his person of the magnanimous and most illustrious six-or-seven-times-honour'd Captain General of the Grecian army, et cetera, Agamemnon. Do this. PATROCLUS. Jove bless great Ajax! THERSITES. Hum! PATROCLUS. I come from the worthy Achilles- THERSITES. Ha! PATROCLUS. Who most humbly desires you to invite Hector to his tent- THERSITES. Hum! PATROCLUS. And to procure safe conduct from Agamemnon. THERSITES. Agamemnon! PATROCLUS. Ay, my lord. THERSITES. Ha! PATROCLUS. What you say to't? THERSITES. God buy you, with all my heart. PATROCLUS. Your answer, sir. THERSITES. If to-morrow be a fair day, by eleven of the clock it will go one way or other. Howsoever, he shall pay for me ere he has me. PATROCLUS. Your answer, sir. THERSITES. Fare ye well, with all my heart. ACHILLES. Why, but he is not in this tune, is he? THERSITES. No, but he's out a tune thus. What music will be in him when Hector has knock'd out his brains I know not; but, I am sure, none; unless the fiddler Apollo get his sinews to make catlings on. ACHILLES. Come, thou shalt bear a letter to him straight. THERSITES. Let me carry another to his horse; for that's the more capable creature. ACHILLES. My mind is troubled, like a fountain stirr'd; And I myself see not the bottom of it. Exeunt ACHILLES and PATROCLUS THERSITES. Would the fountain of your mind were clear again, that I might water an ass at it. I had rather be a tick in a sheep than such a valiant ignorance. Exit

Enter, at one side, AENEAS, and servant with a torch; at another, PARIS, DEIPHOBUS, ANTENOR, DIOMEDES the Grecian, and others, with torches

Enter TROILUS and CRESSIDA

TROILUS. Dear, trouble not yourself; the morn is cold. CRESSIDA. Then, sweet my lord, I'll call mine uncle down; He shall unbolt the gates. TROILUS. Trouble him not; To bed, to bed! Sleep kill those pretty eyes, And give as soft attachment to thy senses As infants' empty of all thought! CRESSIDA. Good morrow, then. TROILUS. I prithee now, to bed. CRESSIDA. Are you aweary of me? TROILUS. O Cressida! but that the busy day, Wak'd by the lark, hath rous'd the ribald crows, And dreaming night will hide our joys no longer, I would not from thee. CRESSIDA. Night hath been too brief. TROILUS. Beshrew the witch! with venomous wights she stays As tediously as hell, but flies the grasps of love With wings more momentary-swift than thought. You will catch cold, and curse me. CRESSIDA. Prithee tarry. You men will never tarry. O foolish Cressid! I might have still held off, And then you would have tarried. Hark! there's one up. PANDARUS. What's all the doors open here? TROILUS. It is your uncle.

Enter PANDARUS

CRESSIDA. A pestilence on him! Now will he be mocking. I shall have such a life! PANDARUS. How now, how now! How go maidenheads? Here, you maid! Where's my cousin Cressid? CRESSIDA. Go hang yourself, you naughty mocking uncle. You bring me to do, and then you flout me too. PANDARUS. To do what? to do what? Let her say what. What have I brought you to do? CRESSIDA. Come, come, beshrew your heart! You'll ne'er be good,

Nor suffer others. PANDARUS. Ha, ha! Alas, poor wretch! a poor capocchia! hast not slept to-night? Would he not, a naughty man, let it sleep? A bugbear take him! CRESSIDA. Did not I tell you? Would he were knock'd i' th' head! Who's that at door? Good uncle, go and see. My lord, come you again into my chamber. You smile and mock me, as if I meant naughtily. TROILUS. Ha! ha! CRESSIDA. Come, you are deceiv'd, I think of no such thing. How earnestly they knock! Pray you come in: I would not for half Troy have you seen here. Exeunt TROILUS and CRESSIDA PANDARUS. Who's there? What's the matter? Will you beat down the door? How now? What's the matter?

Re-enter TROILUS

Re-enter CRESSIDA

CRESSIDA. How now! What's the matter? Who was here? PANDARUS. Ah, ah! CRESSIDA. Why sigh you so profoundly? Where's my lord? Gone? Tell me, sweet uncle, what's the matter? PANDARUS. Would I were as deep under the earth as I am above! CRESSIDA. O the gods! What's the matter? PANDARUS. Pray thee, get thee in. Would thou hadst ne'er been born! I knew thou wouldst be his death! O, poor gentleman! A plague upon Antenor! CRESSIDA. Good uncle, I beseech you, on my knees I beseech you, what's the matter? PANDARUS. Thou must be gone, wench, thou must be gone; thou art chang'd for Antenor; thou must to thy father, and be gone from Troilus. 'Twill be his death; 'twill be his bane; he cannot bear it. CRESSIDA. O you immortal gods! I will not go. PANDARUS. Thou must. CRESSIDA. I will not, uncle. I have forgot my father; I know no touch of consanguinity, No kin, no love, no blood, no soul so near me As the sweet Troilus. O you gods divine, Make Cressid's name the very crown of falsehood, If ever she leave Troilus! Time, force, and death, Do to this body what extremes you can, But the strong base and building of my love Is as the very centre of the earth, Drawing all things to it. I'll go in and weep- PANDARUS. Do, do. CRESSIDA. Tear my bright hair, and scratch my praised cheeks, Crack my clear voice with sobs and break my heart, With sounding 'Troilus.' I will not go from Troy. Exeunt

Enter PARIS, TROILUS, AENEAS, DEIPHOBUS, ANTENOR, and DIOMEDES

PARIS. It is great morning; and the hour prefix'd For her delivery to this valiant Greek Comes fast upon. Good my brother Troilus, Tell you the lady what she is to do And haste her to the purpose. TROILUS. Walk into her house. I'll bring her to the Grecian presently; And to his hand when I deliver her, Think it an altar, and thy brother Troilus A priest, there off'ring to it his own heart. Exit PARIS. I know what 'tis to love, And would, as I shall pity, I could help! Please you walk in, my lords. Exeunt

Enter PANDARUS and CRESSIDA

PANDARUS. Be moderate, be moderate. CRESSIDA. Why tell you me of moderation? The grief is fine, full, perfect, that I taste, And violenteth in a sense as strong As that which causeth it. How can I moderate it? If I could temporize with my affections Or brew it to a weak and colder palate, The like allayment could I give my grief. My love admits no qualifying dross; No more my grief, in such a precious loss.

Enter TROILUS

Enter AENEAS, PARIS, ANTENOR, DEIPHOBUS, and DIOMEDES

Fear not my truth: the moral of my wit Is 'plain and true'; there's all the reach of it. Welcome, Sir Diomed! Here is the lady Which for Antenor we deliver you; At the port, lord, I'll give her to thy hand, And by the way possess thee what she is. Entreat her fair; and, by my soul, fair Greek, If e'er thou stand at mercy of my sword, Name Cressid, and thy life shall be as safe As Priam is in Ilion. DIOMEDES. Fair Lady Cressid, So please you, save the thanks this prince expects. The lustre in your eye, heaven in your cheek, Pleads your fair usage; and to Diomed You shall be mistress, and command him wholly. TROILUS. Grecian, thou dost not use me courteously To shame the zeal of my petition to the In praising her. I tell thee, lord of Greece, She is as far high-soaring o'er thy praises As thou unworthy to be call'd her servant. I charge thee use her well, even for my charge; For, by the dreadful Pluto, if thou dost not, Though the great bulk Achilles be thy guard, I'll cut thy throat. DIOMEDES. O, be not mov'd, Prince Troilus. Let me be privileg'd by my place and message To be a speaker free: when I am hence I'll answer to my lust. And know you, lord, I'll nothing do on charge: to her own worth She shall be priz'd. But that you say 'Be't so,' I speak it in my spirit and honour, 'No.' TROILUS. Come, to the port. I'll tell thee, Diomed, This brave shall oft make thee to hide thy head. Lady, give me your hand; and, as we walk, To our own selves bend we our needful talk. Exeunt TROILUS, CRESSIDA, and DIOMEDES PARIS. Hark! Hector's trumpet. AENEAS. How have we spent this morning! The Prince must think me tardy and remiss, That swore to ride before him to the field. PARIS. 'Tis Troilus' fault. Come, come to field with him. DEIPHOBUS. Let us make ready straight. AENEAS. Yea, with a bridegroom's fresh alacrity Let us address to tend on Hector's heels. The glory of our Troy doth this day lie On his fair worth and single chivalry. Exeunt

Enter AJAX, armed; AGAMEMNON, ACHILLES, PATROCLUS, MENELAUS, ULYSSES, NESTOR, and others

Enter DIOMEDES, with CRESSIDA

AGAMEMNON. Is not yond Diomed, with Calchas' daughter? ULYSSES. 'Tis he, I ken the manner of his gait: He rises on the toe. That spirit of his In aspiration lifts him from the earth. AGAMEMNON. Is this the lady Cressid? DIOMEDES. Even she. AGAMEMNON. Most dearly welcome to the Greeks, sweet lady. NESTOR. Our general doth salute you with a kiss. ULYSSES. Yet is the kindness but particular; 'Twere better she were kiss'd in general. NESTOR. And very courtly counsel: I'll begin. So much for Nestor. ACHILLES. I'll take that winter from your lips, fair lady. Achilles bids you welcome. MENELAUS. I had good argument for kissing once. PATROCLUS. But that's no argument for kissing now; For thus popp'd Paris in his hardiment, And parted thus you and your argument. ULYSSES. O deadly gall, and theme of all our scorns! For which we lose our heads to gild his horns. PATROCLUS. The first was Menelaus' kiss; this, mine- Patroclus kisses you. MENELAUS. O, this is trim! PATROCLUS. Paris and I kiss evermore for him. MENELAUS. I'll have my kiss, sir. Lady, by your leave. CRESSIDA. In kissing, do you render or receive? PATROCLUS. Both take and give. CRESSIDA. I'll make my match to live, The kiss you take is better than you give; Therefore no kiss. MENELAUS. I'll give you boot; I'll give you three for one. CRESSIDA. You are an odd man; give even or give none. MENELAUS. An odd man, lady? Every man is odd. CRESSIDA. No, Paris is not; for you know 'tis true That you are odd, and he is even with you. MENELAUS. You fillip me o' th' head. CRESSIDA. No, I'll be sworn. ULYSSES. It were no match, your nail against his horn. May I, sweet lady, beg a kiss of you? CRESSIDA. You may. ULYSSES. I do desire it. CRESSIDA. Why, beg then. ULYSSES. Why then, for Venus' sake give me a kiss When Helen is a maid again, and his. CRESSIDA. I am your debtor; claim it when 'tis due. ULYSSES. Never's my day, and then a kiss of you. DIOMEDES. Lady, a word. I'll bring you to your father. Exit with CRESSIDA NESTOR. A woman of quick sense. ULYSSES. Fie, fie upon her! There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip, Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out At every joint and motive of her body. O these encounters so glib of tongue That give a coasting welcome ere it comes, And wide unclasp the tables of their thoughts To every ticklish reader! Set them down For sluttish spoils of opportunity, And daughters of the game. ALL. The Troyans' trumpet.

Enter HECTOR, armed; AENEAS, TROILUS, PARIS, HELENUS, and other Trojans, with attendants

Re-enter DIOMEDES

AGAMEMNON and the rest of the Greeks come forward

Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS

ACHILLES. I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night, Which with my scimitar I'll cool to-morrow. Patroclus, let us feast him to the height. PATROCLUS. Here comes Thersites.

Enter THERSITES

ACHILLES. How now, thou core of envy! Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news? THERSITES. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol of idiot worshippers, here's a letter for thee. ACHILLES. From whence, fragment? THERSITES. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy. PATROCLUS. Who keeps the tent now? THERSITES. The surgeon's box or the patient's wound. PATROCLUS. Well said, Adversity! and what needs these tricks? THERSITES. Prithee, be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk; thou art said to be Achilles' male varlet. PATROCLUS. Male varlet, you rogue! What's that? THERSITES. Why, his masculine whore. Now, the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping ruptures, catarrhs, loads o' gravel in the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, limekilns i' th' palm, incurable bone-ache, and the rivelled fee- simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries! PATROCLUS. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus? THERSITES. Do I curse thee? PATROCLUS. Why, no, you ruinous butt; you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no. THERSITES. No! Why art thou, then, exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sleid silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pest'red with such water-flies-diminutives of nature! PATROCLUS. Out, gall! THERSITES. Finch egg! ACHILLES. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle. Here is a letter from Queen Hecuba, A token from her daughter, my fair love, Both taxing me and gaging me to keep An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it. Fall Greeks; fail fame; honour or go or stay; My major vow lies here, this I'll obey. Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent; This night in banqueting must all be spent. Away, Patroclus! Exit with PATROCLUS THERSITES. With too much blood and too little brain these two may run mad; but, if with too much brain and to little blood they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails, but he has not so much brain as ear-wax; and the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive statue and oblique memorial of cuckolds, a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg-to what form but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing: he is both ass and ox. To an ox, were nothing: he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a put-tock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care; but to be Menelaus, I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus. Hey-day! sprites and fires!

Enter HECTOR, TROILUS, AJAX, AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, MENELAUS, and DIOMEDES, with lights

Re-enter ACHILLES

ULYSSES. Here comes himself to guide you. ACHILLES. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, Princes all. AGAMEMNON. So now, fair Prince of Troy, I bid good night; Ajax commands the guard to tend on you. HECTOR. Thanks, and good night to the Greeks' general. MENELAUS. Good night, my lord. HECTOR. Good night, sweet Lord Menelaus. THERSITES. Sweet draught! 'Sweet' quoth 'a? Sweet sink, sweet sewer! ACHILLES. Good night and welcome, both at once, to those That go or tarry. AGAMEMNON. Good night. Exeunt AGAMEMNON and MENELAUS ACHILLES. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Keep Hector company an hour or two. DIOMEDES. I cannot, lord; I have important business, The tide whereof is now. Good night, great Hector. HECTOR. Give me your hand. ULYSSES. Follow his torch; he goes to Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company. TROILUS. Sweet sir, you honour me. HECTOR. And so, good night. Exit DIOMEDES; ULYSSES and TROILUS following ACHILLES. Come, come, enter my tent. Exeunt all but THERSITES THERSITES. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers than I will a serpent when he hisses. He will spend his mouth and promise, like Brabbler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretell it: it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector than not to dog him. They say he keeps a Troyan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent. I'll after. Nothing but lechery! All incontinent varlets! Exit

Enter DIOMEDES

DIOMEDES. What, are you up here, ho? Speak. CALCHAS. Who calls? DIOMEDES. Diomed. Calchas, I think. Where's your daughter? CALCHAS. She comes to you.

Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after them THERSITES

ULYSSES. Stand where the torch may not discover us.

Enter CRESSIDA

Re-enter CRESSIDA

Enter AENEAS

AENEAS. I have been seeking you this hour, my lord. Hector, by this, is arming him in Troy; Ajax, your guard, stays to conduct you home. TROILUS. Have with you, Prince. My courteous lord, adieu. Fairwell, revolted fair!-and, Diomed, Stand fast and wear a castle on thy head. ULYSSES. I'll bring you to the gates. TROILUS. Accept distracted thanks.

Exeunt TROILUS, AENEAS. and ULYSSES

THERSITES. Would I could meet that rogue Diomed! I would croak like a raven; I would bode, I would bode. Patroclus will give me anything for the intelligence of this whore; the parrot will not do more for an almond than he for a commodious drab. Lechery, lechery! Still wars and lechery! Nothing else holds fashion. A burning devil take them! Exit

Enter HECTOR and ANDROMACHE

Enter CASSANDRA

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