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Read Ebook: Second Plays by Milne A A Alan Alexander
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Ebook has 2986 lines and 55231 words, and 60 pages
DENNIS . Bags I all the presents.
JAMES. Silence, all!
ALL. Good!
JAMES . Well, Miss Rosemary, seeing that it's to be called "Make-Believe," why not make-believe as it's written already?
ROSEMARY. What a good idea, James!
JAMES. All that is necessary is for the company to think very hard of what they want, and--there we are! Saves all the bother of writing and spelling and what not.
ROSEMARY James, how clever you are!
JAMES. So-so, Miss Rosemary.
ROSEMARY. Now then, let's all think together. Are you all ready?
ALL. Yes!
ROSEMARY. Then one, two, three--Go!
PRINCESS. Good morning, Woodcutter.
WOODCUTTER. Good morning.
PRINCESS . Good morning, Woodcutter.
WOODCUTTER. Good morning.
PRINCESS. Don't you ever say anything except good morning?
WOODCUTTER. Sometimes I say good-bye.
WOODCUTTER. I have work to do.
PRINCESS. You are still cutting wood? Don't you ever do anything else?
PRINCESS . Now, that's not fair, Woodcutter. You can't say I was a Princess yesterday, when I came and helped you stack your wood. Or the day before, when I tied up your hand where you had cut it. Or the day before that, when we had our meal together on the grass. Was I a Princess then?
WOODCUTTER. Somehow I think you were. Somehow I think you were saying to yourself, "Isn't it sweet of a Princess to treat a mere woodcutter like this?"
PRINCESS. I think you're perfectly horrid. I've a good mind never to speak to you again. And--and I would, if only I could be sure that you would notice I wasn't speaking to you.
WOODCUTTER. After all, I'm just as bad as you. Only yesterday I was thinking to myself how unselfish I was to interrupt my work in order to talk to a mere Princess.
WOODCUTTER . Madam, I am at your service.
PRINCESS. I wish I thought you were.
WOODCUTTER. Surely you have enough people at your service already. Princes and Chancellors and Chamberlains and Waiting Maids.
PRINCESS. Yes, that's just it. That's why I want your help. Particularly in the matter of the Princes.
WOODCUTTER. Why, has a suitor come for the hand of her Royal Highness?
PRINCESS. Three suitors. And I hate them all.
WOODCUTTER. And which are you going to marry?
PRINCESS. I don't know. Father hasn't made up his mind yet.
WOODCUTTER. And this is a matter which father--which His Majesty decides for himself?
PRINCESS. Why, of course! You should read the History Books, Woodcutter. The suitors to the hand of a Princess are always set some trial of strength or test of quality by the King, and the winner marries his daughter.
WOODCUTTER. Well, I don't live in a Palace, and I think my own thoughts about these things. I'd better get back to my work.
PRINCESS . Woodcutter!
WOODCUTTER . Oh, are you there? I thought you were married by this time.
PRINCESS . I don't want to be married. I mean, not to any of those three.
WOODCUTTER. You can't help yourself.
WOODCUTTER . Can a simple woodcutter help a Princess?
PRINCESS. Well, perhaps a simple one couldn't, but a clever one might.
WOODCUTTER. What would his reward be?
WOODCUTTER . Oh, decidedly.
PRINCESS . I thought I was.
WOODCUTTER. There's enough of you to make a hundred men unhappy.
PRINCESS. And one man happy?
WOODCUTTER. And one man very, very happy.
WOODCUTTER . One of three?
PRINCESS . Oo, would you kill the others? With that axe?
PRINCESS. Yes?
WOODCUTTER. Then I would marry her, however many suitors she had.
PRINCESS. Well, she's only got three at present.
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