Read Ebook: A Voyage to Cacklogallinia With a Description of the Religion Policy Customs and Manners of That Country by Brunt Samuel Nicolson Marjorie Hope Author Of Introduction Etc

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"Their Hatred to me proceeds from various Causes. In some it is Envy, because they think themselves affronted and injur'd by my great Rise, as knowing themselves to be of greater Consideration in their Country, and fancifying themselves themselves to be as well qualified by their Parts. Others again are out of Humour, because I do not comply with all their unreasonable Demands, their Luxury always keeping them necessitous. Some of these are such as have Parts enough to be troublesome; they are hard to be managed, and indeed are the most dangerous Creatures I have to deal with. There is a third Sort, who hate and oppose me, only because they love their Country, but these I don't much fear, for their Party is very weak at present.

"And since I am upon this Subject, I can't forbear observing to you, that were it not for the Luxury of some, and the Folly of others, I could never have stood my Ground so long, and executed those Measures which I have brought about; and happy it is for a Person in my Station that many of the upper Rank should happen to be Fools; I have myself kept several Persons dancing Attendance after me, Year after Year, made them maintain in publick Assemblies, that Nine was more than Fifteen; that Black was White and a Hundred other things of equal Absurdity, only by promising to stick a parti-colour'd Feather in their Tails; and when this was done, it only made them the Scorn and Jest of every thing of good Sense: Yet it answered my Purpose, and did not hinder others of equal Folly from making Court for the same thing.

"Thus I have accounted with you why these People are subservient to me, while they hate me; but I have not given you the Reason on my Side for keeping up this Correspondence and Union with them, for whom I have as little Esteem as they can have for me. Then, in a Word it is, I can't do without them. This you'll easily comprehend when you understand the Nature of our Government; for you'll know, that this Power here is lodged in the many, not in the few: It is they who can abolish old Laws, and make new; the Power of Life and Death is in them, and from their Decrees there is no Appeal; and tho' I do all, and command all, nay, command even them, yet the Right is theirs, and they might exert it all times if they had Virtue enough to break off their Correspondence with me.

"Things being in this Situation, no doubt, you'll think my Establishment well fix'd; but I am not without my Fears and my Dangers, and there is no judging of the Power of one in my Station, by the Flattery that is paid him, for Flatterers take things frequently by outward Appearances; and notwithstanding my arbitrary manner of treating some Persons, my Safety is depending upon the Breath of others, and I am obliged to pay a more servile Court to some behind the Curtain, than is paid to me without.

"I then immediately apply'd all my Thoughts towards making my Peace, and there fell out a Chain of lucky Incidents, which happily brought it about. One of these was the Death of several great Personages, who were too mighty for me at that time in Rank and Dignity, and whose Parts eclipsed mine in the Opinion of the Publick, tho' I always thought otherwise.

"Their Deaths were so sudden, that the Emperor was puzzled whom to chuse in their Places, and he had but a very small Acquaintance among his People; so that he was under a kind of Necessity of throwing his Affairs into my Hands, I having the Reputation of being pretty well practised in certain Branches of his Revenues.

"As this in a great Measure has render'd me safe against the Attempts of my Enemies, yet I can't deny but that it has encreas'd their Number, and furnish'd them with Matter to clamour against me; and these Clamours have possess'd the Publick with a kind of an Aversion to my Conduct, tho' they have not reach'd the Throne.

He also confess'd to me, that he himself never had any great Regard for that Sort of Persons, which he own'd he sometimes had Reason to repent; for he found that by their Verses and Discourses, they influenced the Publick very much, by whom they were look'd upon with more Esteem, than by the Courtiers; and that his Enemies had made a proper Advantage of his Contempt of them; for they had taken the most ingenious amongst them into their Party, and exasperated them against him; so that their Compositions had kept up a Spirit against him, and he had the Mortification of seeing the People always receive with Pleasure any thing that exposed and satyriz'd his Conduct. That indeed in his own Defence, he had imploy'd some others to chant his Praise; but they were such wretched Poetasters, and did it so awkardly, that their Performances prov'd more bitter Invectives than the Satyrs of the others; for whenever there happen'd the least Flaw in his Administration, he was sure to receive congratulatory Verses immediately upon it; and that was the Time they chose to proclaim the Happiness the Subject enjoy'd by his wise Management: And they carried this Matter to such a ridiculous Height, that there was not a Vice or a Folly, that either he or any of his Family were remarkable for, but they were prais'd for the contrary Vertues and Accomplishments.

The Emperor was highly delighted with the Present his Minister made him, and order'd all possible Care to be taken of me. My Lord told him I might be as useful to his Majesty as my Make was curious, for he found me very intelligent, learning the Languages with great Facility, and that it was possible I might be serviceable in extending his Dominions, by bringing that Part of the World, which my Species inhabited, in Subjection to his Imperial Majesty.

I answer'd, it was very true; but that such Fowls were otherwise serviceable in the Government, had handsome Wives or Daughters, or could procure such of their Acquaintance, or perhaps were elected into the Grand Council of the Nation, and had a Vote to dispose of.

This Nation pretends to believe a first Being, and to worship one God, tho' I confess, when I was first amongst them, I thought otherwise; for I Found the People of the best Rank amongst them always ridiculing Religion. They had formerly a Globe of pure Gold in their Temples, an Emblem of Eternity: It was inscribed with unintelligible Characters, by which they figured the Inscrurability of his Decrees. This some call'd superstitious, and were for having razed, and the Ball, which was, in their Opinion, too big, new melted, and cast into a different Form. Some were for a Square, to give an Emblem, of Justice; others would have it, an Octogon, by which they would shadow his Ubiquity. Another Party insisted upon its being cast again, but in no regular Form; for all Forms and Regularity they look'd upon superstitious. Their Disputes on this Subject ran so high, that they came to Blows, and each Party, as it was victorious, modelled the Globe to his own Humour or Caprice. But the Ball being so often melted, and Part of the Gold being lost in each Fusion, it was at last almost imperceivable. These Bickerings shed a great deal of Blood, and being at length tired with worrying each other upon this Account, a new Globe was cast, but not exactly round, to satisfy tender Consciences. In process of Time, it was thought that a brazen Globe might do as well as one of Gold, and new Disputes beginning to arise, it was decreed, that this Globe should stand in the Temple, but that every one in particular should have at home an Idol after his own Fashion provided they wou'd only bow to this, and the Revenues were continued to the Priests to furnish Sacrifices. The Heads of the Priests at last thinking these Sacrifices altogether needless, and a very great Expence, dropp'd 'em by Degrees: However, some say this was done by some of the Grandees, as a Means to make the Priests less respected, and put the Money in their own Coffers, which has made them both rich and insolent. They were formerly a cunning Set, but they are not look'd upon as such now, for they take but little Care, either to cultivate the Interest, or support the Credit and Dignity of their Order; and as some of them are given to Luxury, which they have not taken due Care to conceal, the common Sort do not entertain the same Respect for them they did in former Times.

However, the poor Clergy lead moral Lives, and there is a Sect amongst them which keeps up the golden Ball, continues the Sacrifices, and detests Perjury; but these are obliged to perform their Ceremonies by Stealth, and are prosecuted as an obstinate ill-designing People.

Upon the whole, the Property of private Birds, which they would make you believe was much safer amongst them, than under any other Government in the World, appeared to me to stand upon a very precarious Foot, since it was always at the Mercy of the Law, and the most cunning and sagacious amongst them could never pretend to be sure what Law was: Nay, it was often found by Experience, that what was Law one Day amongst them, was not so another; so that I could not help thinking, that whenever Party and Party differr'd concerning Matters of Property, the least expensive, and most prudent Method would have been, to have referr'd the Decision of the Cause to some Game of Hazard.

They are extremely severe in their military Discipline: A Soldier, for a trifling Fault, shall have all the Feathers stripp'd off his Back, and a corroding Plaister clapp'd on, which will eat to the Bones in a small Space of Time. For a capital Crime, every one in the Regiment is ordered to peck him as he's ty'd to a Post, till he dies. I have seen one who was condemn'd to this Death have Part of his Entrails torn out of his Side in a few Pecks.

Upon the Decease of any Party, his Estate goes to the eldest of his Children, whether Male or Female; for the others, the Cocks are put into the Army, or to Trades; the Hens are married to the next Relations, who are obliged to take them, or allow them a Pension for Life, according to their Quality. Polygamy is forbid, tho' universally practised among the better Sort. There were publick Colleges erected for the Education and Provision of poor Chickens; but as there is a strong Party, which takes them to be of ill Consequence; they are discountenanc'd so much, that it is thought they must fall some time or other.

When the Relations of the Sick perceive him past Hopes of Recovery, they fall to plundering his House, neglect him entirely, and very often fall together by the Ears, begin with Blows, and end with a Law-suit, which seldom fails ruining both Plaintiff and Defendant; for their Lawyers rarely bring a Suit to Issue, till their Clients are brought to Beggary; and tho' they all know this to be the Consequence of their Litigation, yet is there no Nation so fond of going to Law.

Another Diversion they have, is the making the Ostriches run Races: The Feeding, Training, and Betting upon these Birds, have ruined many of the noblest Families. They are also mightily addicted to Dice, and will set and lose their Wives and Children, which they sometimes see eaten by the Winner, if he is of Quality.

These Schemes, which were every Day presented to the Minister, grew so numerous, that, had he applied himself to nothing else but their Examination, it would have taken up a great Part of his Time: And, indeed, I must own, that my Friend, the first Minister, gave himself but very little Trouble in things of this Nature, for all his Schemes, and all his Thoughts center'd in himself; and when I have gone to carry him Intelligence in a Morning, and all the great Fowl that came to pay their Levee, have been answer'd, that he was busy in his Closet upon Affairs of Importance to the State, and saw no Company, I have found him either writing Directions concerning his Ostriches, or his Country Sports, or his Buildings, or examining his private Accounts; and tho' I often thought but meanly of my own Species, yet I began to think, from the Conduct of this great Minister, that a Cock was a far more selfish, and more worthless Animal than Man; insomuch, that I have so despised them ever since, as to think them good for nothing but the Spit.

The Schemes which he put in Practice were all the Invention of others, tho' he assum'd the Credit of them; and I will be bold to say, that, before my Time, amongst Numbers that were offer'd to him, he generally chose the worst.

There were Projects for taxing Soot, Corn, Ribbons, for coining all the Plate of the Nobility, for prohibiting the wearing of Gold or Silver. Some were for the Government's taking all the Torchtrees and dispose of them, by which great Sums might be raised. Some were for laying a Tax on all who kept Coaches; others upon all who wore Silver or Gold Spurs: But these touching only the Rich, the Minister would not listen to. The Tax which he approved of most, was on the Light of the Sun, according to the Hours it was enjoy'd; so that the poor Peasant, who rose with it, paid for Twelve Hours Day-light, and the Nobility and Gentry, who kept their Beds till Noon, paid only for Six.

I answered his Excellency, That I wished he might ever find his and his Country's Good, in all his Undertakings, since I had so great Obligations to both; but that what I had told him of my self was every way consonant to Truth; that I was so far from being an Inhabitant of the Moon, that I did not believe it habitable; and if it were, I did not think a Voyage thither practicable, for Reasons I wou'd give the Projector, whenever his Excellency would condescend to hear my Objections and his Answers: That if he, after that, would persist in the Undertaking, she should find me ready to sacrifice that Life in the Attempt, which I held from his Goodness.

The next Day I waited on his Excellency, where I found the Projector mention'd. He began the Discourse, addressing himself to me, after the usual Ceremonies.

"First, I esteem the Moon an opaque solid Body, as is our Earth, and consequently adapted for the Entertainment and Nourishment of its Inhabitants. Now, that it is a solid Body, is evident by the Repercussion of the Light which it receives from the Sun."

He answer'd,

"I could give many more Reasons, but to avoid Prolixity, I refer you to my Memorial, knowing how precious Time is to your Excellency.

"I shall now speak of the principal and constituent Parts of this Planet; to wit, the Sea, the firm Land; its Extrinsicks, as Meteors, Seasons, and Inhabitants."

His Excellency seem'd to think the Difficulties I rais'd merited Consideration, and after some Pause, asked the Projector, if he could solve them.

"As to the resting our selves, I affirm from the Principles of sound Philosophy, that when once out of the Reach of the magnetick Power of the Earth, we shall no longer gravitate, for what we call Gravity, is no other than Attraction, consequently we may repose our selves in the Air, if there is Occasion, which I believe there will not; for as we shall then have no Weight to exhaust the Spirits, there can be no Need of refreshing them either with Meat or Sleep."

The Minister rose up, and said he was fully satisfied with his Answers; the only Thing gave him Uneasiness, was the Length of Time I said was requisite to make this Journey.

This open'd my Eyes, and I found I had been very short-sighted, in condemning the Minister for giving Ear to a Project so contrary to Reason: But when I saw the noblest Families, and such whose Ruine was necessary to his own Support, sell their Estates to buy Shares, I look'd upon him as the wisest Minister in the known World; and was lost in Wonder, when I confider'd the Depth of his Designs.

The Author begins his Journey to the MOON.

The next Morning we set forward at about Three o' Clock, and reach'd the Mountain in about Forty six Hours. We first refresh'd our selves, and when I was alone, I open'd my Instructions, which ran thus:

As Experience proves you are not to be led by chimerical Notions, and that your Capacity and Fidelity render you fit to undertake the most difficult and secret Affairs, his Imperial Majesty thought none so fit as yourself to be entrusted in the Management of the present Scheme; which that you may do to his Majesty's Satisfaction, and your own Interest and Credit, you are to observe the following Instructions.

I ascended to the Mid-space, and found a vast Alteration in the Air, which even here was very sensibly rarified.

My Projector came to me at his appointed Time, and told me he did not question the Success of our Enterprize, since he imagined the Air above the second Region rather denser than that near the Earth, and hoped the Cold was not more intense than on the Mountain's Top; and that if this prov'd so, we cou'd breathe and support the Cold with little Difficulty. I answer'd, that it was natural to conclude the Air next the Earth more dense than that above it, as the weightiest always descends the first.

"HIPPOMENE-CONNUFERENTO, Emperor and absolute Monarch of the greatest Empire in the Terrestrial Globe, Disposer of Kingdoms, Judge of Kings, Dispenser of Justice, Light of the World, Joy of the Sun, Darling of Mortals, Scourge of Tyrants, and Refuge of the Distress'd, to the Puissant Monarch of that Kingdom in the Moon, to which our Ambassadors shall arrive: Or, To the Mighty and Sole Lord of that beautiful Planet, sends Greeting.

He went off at break of Day, to avoid those Vapours which the Heat of the Sun exhales, and which by Night would have rendered his Passage, he thought, impossible; for he hoped, in a small Space to gain beyond the Heighth they rise to. At the Return of those who convoy'd him, I sent away an Express, to acquaint the Emperor with their Report, which was, That they found no sensible Alteration as to the Rarefaction of the Air, and that the Cold was rather less intense. This News at Court made every one run mad after Shares, which the Proprietors sold at what Rate they pleas'd.

Courage my Friend, I have pas'd the Atmosphere, and, by Experience, have found my Conjecture true; for being out of the magnetick Power of the Earth, we rested in the Air, as on the solid Earth, and in an Air extreamly temperate, and less subtle than what we breathe.

This was such a Damp to the Town; that Shares fell to Half Value, and none of the Courtiers would buy, sell they cou'd not, having already dispos'd of all by their Agents, tho' they pretended the contrary.

The Express return'd, with private Orders for me to confirm this Report, which I was oblig'd to do, and stay eight Days longer, as the publick Instructions to us both commanded.

I approv'd his Reason, and we proceeded on, sure of falling first into the Attraction of the Moon, it being the nearest Planet to us.

When I had recover'd from the Fright, which the Rapidity of our Descent had put me into, I view'd the circumjacent Country with equal Wonder and Delight; Nature seem'd here to have lavish'd all her Favours; on whatsoever Side I turn'd my Eye, the most ravishing Prospect was offer'd to my Sight. The Mountain yielded a gradual Descent to most beautiful Meadows, enamell'd with Cowslips, Roses, Lilies, Jessamines, Carnations, and other fragrant Flowers, unknown to the Inhabitants of our Globe, which were as grateful to the Smell, as entertaining to the Eye. The chrystal Rivulets which smoothly glided thro' these inchanting Meads, seem'd so many Mirrors reflecting the various Beauties of those odoriferous Flowers which adorn'd their Banks. The Mountain, which was of considerable Height, afforded us a great Variety in our Prospect, and the Woods, Pastures, Meads, and small Arms of the Sea, were intermingled with that surprizing Beauty and Order, that they seem'd rather dispos'd by Art, than the Product of Nature; the Earth it self yielded a grateful and enlivening Scent, and is so pure, that it does not sully the Hands. The Cedars, which cloath'd the middle Part of the Summit, were streight, tall, and so large, that seven Men would hardly fathom the Bowl of one; round these twin'd the grateful Honey-suckle, and encircling Vine, whose purple Grapes appearing frequent from among the Leaves of the wide extended Branches, gave an inconceivable Pleasure to the Beholder. The Lily of the Valley, Violet, Tuberose, Pink, Julip and Jonquil, cloath'd their spacious Roots, and the verdant Soil afforded every salutiferous Herb and Plant, whose Vertues diffus'd thro' the ambient Air Preservatives to the blessed Inhabitants of the Lunar World.

I found my Spirits so invigorated by the refreshing Odours, of this Paradice, so elated with the Serenity of the Heavens, and the Beauties which every where entertained and rejoiced my Sight, that in Extasy I broke out into this grateful Soliloquy.

They were of different Statures, from Thirty to an Hundred and Fifty Foot high, as near as I cou'd guess; some of them were near as thick as long, some proportionable, and others shap'd like a Pine, being no thicker than my self, tho' tall of an Hundred Foot.

I stood still, they did the same; if I was astonish'd at their Make, and at what other things I had observ'd, I was more so, when I saw one of the tallest, dwindle in the Twinkling of an Eye, to a Pigmy, fly into the Air without Wings, and carry off a Giant in each Hand by the Hair of the Head.

I was struck dumb with Amazement, and while I was considering with my self what this should mean, I observ'd a Man riding up to us, mounted on a Lion; when he came to the others, I found him of the common Size with the Inhabitants of our Globe; he had on his Head a Crown of Bays, which in an Instant chang'd to a Fool's Cap, and his Lion to an Ass. He drew from his Breast a Rowl like a Quire of Written Paper, which using as a Sword, he set upon the others, and dispers'd them. Some ran over the Sea, as on dry Ground; others flew into the Air, and some sunk into the Earth. Then alighting from his Ass, he opened the Jaws of the Animal, went down his Throat, and they both vanish'd.

I return'd him many Thanks for his Humanity, but told him I durst not attribute to my self the Character he gave me; that I was a Lover of Truth, and would not, on any Account, disguise the real Motive which sent me on an Undertaking I look'd upon impossible to go thro' with, and which I very unwillingly embark'd in: But since, contrary to my Expectations, Providence has guided me to this Terrestrial Paradice, I should esteem my self extreamly happy, if I might be permitted to ask such Questions as my Curiosity might prompt me to.

I went with them into a Parlour, where, after a Hymn was sung, we sat down to a Table cover'd with Sallets and all sorts of Fruits.

Which I found true by Experience, and I was so far from hankering after Flesh, that even the Thoughts of it were shocking and nauseous to me.

"We have here no Passions to gratify, no Wants to supply, the Roots of Vice, which under no Denomination is known among us; consequently no Laws, nor Governours to execute them, are here necessary.

"We pass our Days without Labour, without other Anxiety, than what I mention'd, and the longing Desire we have for our Dissolution, makes every coming Day encrease our Happiness.

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