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Read Ebook: Brannon's Picture of The Isle of Wight The Expeditious Traveller's Index to Its Prominent Beauties & Objects of Interest. Compiled Especially with Reference to Those Numerous Visitors Who Can Spare but Two or Three Days to Make the Tour of the Island. by Brannon George
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Ebook has 1537 lines and 82512 words, and 31 pages
TOPP. Kids! What do you mean by kids?
GIN. Wy dat gemmen left two kids in de yard.
TOPP. Goats on my lawn! They'll ruin all the shrubbery. Of all things I detest a goat. First we were beset by a legion of dogs, now we are threatened with goats. This is no menagerie. Put them out at once, at once I say, before they ruin the plants.
GIN. But massa--
TOPP. Go immediately or I'll thrash you. I'll have to part with that niggro.
TICK. Old family retainer, I suppose?
TOPP. Yes, and like most heirlooms of no value whatever. He is one of the fixtures in the family along with our traditions. His grandfather was servant of my grandfather; his mother was my nurse.
TICK. It is very commendable of you, sir, to bear with his failings.
TICK. Very sad, sir, to see an honored old house on the verge of extinction.
TOPP. Your sentiments are very commendable, very! But, hang it, sir, you make too sure of your premise. I am on the verge, but not the verge of extinction.
TICK. What verge, then?
TOPP. My boy, it makes me so good natured to think of it, and your inquisitiveness is so very refreshing that, by Jove, I'll gratify it. I'm going to marry that young lady.
TICK. Well, he has assurance. A rival! I admire your taste.
TOPP. Aint I a lucky chap? Gad, I feel twenty-five. I think fifty-five is not very old, what do you say?
TICK. Not so old as seventy-five.
TOPP. Seventy-five is not in question, sir. Ah! I'm in luck. That little blonde is very pretty!
TICK. I'll head him off! May I suggest, sir, that your acquaintance with the young lady is rather brief.
TICK. At your pleasure. I'm waiting to be shown out.
TOPP. O, to be sure! I beg pardon. I'll ring for my man. Potts, you there! Havn't I told you a thousand times not to stand listening?
GIN. An 'bout 'leven hundred times never to speak while other folks was talked to.
TOPP. Silence! Who is this person?
GIN. Dat's de man wot fotched de kids.
TOPP. Did you leave any kids on my lawn! sir? That is actionable. I'll prosecute you. I'll see if there's any law for making bedlam out of a quiet neighborhood, and turning objectionable animals loose on one's lawn. Potts, take away those kids.
SPRATT. Kids? How dare you allude to Grover Cleveland Spratt and Benjamin Harrison Spratt in that way?
TOPP. Your nomenclature is ridiculous.
SPRATT. I beg to differ. Not knowing your politics, I thought I'd please you one way or the other. You can change whichever name you don't like.
TOPP. I don't like either. I am a Prohibitionist!
SPRATT. Then change both!
TOPP. Change both! I'll have them drowned, Potts, do you hear that? Drown them!
GIN. Foh de Lord's sake, Massa Topp, dat's more dan my conscience kin stan'.
SPRATT. I overlook your insult. To return to business, you advertised for them.
TOPP. What, I! Never! Take them away instanter or I'll not answer for their lives.
SPRATT. You gray-headed old monster!
TOPP. What! Call me names in my own house.
SPRATT. Yes, and I've a mind to chastise you.
SPRATT. I could do you in a minute.
TOPP. I am forgetting myself, you are beneath my notice. Potts, show this man out.
TICK. This is a good time for me to go and see Angie. Cottage No. 3, Ferndale Park.
TOPP. Either! Use your pleasure. Get rid of him.
GIN. Do you see dat dooh?
SPRATT. I'll have the law on you.
GIN. Scoot!
TOPP. Here's a forenoon wasted by a pack of lunatics. What does this internal tumult mean? It isn't the threats of that man. Bah, the braggart! I feel so light hearted. My pulse is bounding. About 85. I feel the buoyancy and lightness of thirty years ago.
"I feel just as happy as a big sun flower, That nods and bends in the breezes, And my heart is as light as Thded in the island, the militia of which had been reinforced from Southampton and London, in expectation of this hostile visit. The invaders were unable to reduce Carisbrooke Castle, which was commanded by the governor, Sir H. Tyrrel--and moreover suffered considerable loss by an ambuscade at a place near Newport, still called Deadman's Lane; yet as the houses of the inhabitants lay at their mercy, they were at length bought off by the payment of 1000 marks, and a promise that no resistance should be offered, if they revisited the island within a year.
In the reign of Henry IV, the French made two other attacks: on the first occasion they were repulsed with loss; and on the second, when a large fleet made a threatening demand of a subsidy, the islanders were so elated at their past success, that they invited the French to land and try their prowess in fair fight, after having had sufficient time to rest and refresh themselves: this handsome challenge was not however accepted.
Owing to its comparatively remote situation, the island escaped those calamities which afflicted the rest of the kingdom during the bloody disputes of the rival Roses: nor was it engaged with any foreign enemy till the year 1488, when the governor, Sir Edward de Woodville, having raised a body of about 500 men, passed over to the continent in aid of the Duke of Bretagne against the king of France. At the battle of St. Aubin the Bretons were routed, and the islanders, whom hatred or contempt of the French probably impelled to a more obstinate resistance, perished to a man: this unfortunate event plunged the whole island into mourning; and in order to recruit the diminished population, an act of parliament forbad any single inhabitant from holding farms above the annual rent of ten marks.
In the division between king Charles I and the parliament, the islanders at first manifested some zeal in the royal cause; yet as soon as hostilities commenced at Portsmouth, the Newport militia expelled the weak garrison of Carisbrooke Castle, which, with the other forts, were delivered to the parliamentary troops; and on the arrival of the Earl of Pembroke, the gentlemen and principal farmers assembled at Cowes, and tendered him their best services. The inhabitants having thus taken a decisive step in closing with the prevailing power, remained undisturbed spectators of the ensuing commotions, till the king injudiciously sought here an asylum.
As its situation preserved it from scenes of hostility between the troops, the island enjoyed a much happier state than any other part of the kingdom during the civil war, which caused many families to retire hither: a circumstance that for the time rose the farm-rents in the proportion of 20 per cent. The subsequent local history presents nothing of any interest, with the exception perhaps of the powerful armaments which assembled in the neighbourhood during the last French war, and the large bodies of military which were in consequence here quartered.
Carisbrooke, Newport, Cowes, and Ryde.
Our arrangement of the subjects supposes the reader to start from a point nearly central, and pursue his tour of the island in a regular progress, without frequently retrograding, or considerably deviating either to the right or left. This order must prove convenient for reference at all events, let the visitor commence his journey from any of the principal towns.
CARISBROOKE CASTLE.
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