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Read Ebook: Punch or the London Charivari Vol. 104 February 18 1893 by Various Burnand F C Francis Cowley Editor
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Ebook has 68 lines and 11256 words, and 2 pages
Much touched at this kindness. Unfortunately had an engagement which prevented my availing myself of it.
KENNAWAY and Alphabet COUTTS in same box as WYNDHAM; get out of it in different fashion. They, also, had prepared speeches, unknowing what turn affairs would take. Weren't going to waste them, so delivered them at length. They had everything but an audience. House could not prevent them reeling off their speeches, but wouldn't stay to listen. Everybody happy all round, and evening agreeably wasted.
"I fancy, Brother HARDIE," he said, "it would picturesquely emphasise the situation, don't you know, if we thus made community of at least our coats. That's rather a remarkable garment you wear. If I put it on, and you wore mine, then House would see how thoroughly one we are. Do you mind?"
"Well," said HARDIE, dubiously, "there's a good many things in the pockets, and they might get loose if you went mauling round with the coat. So I think, if you don't mind, we'll go in our own duds."
"Oh, as you please," said the Colonel, coldly, a little hurt at this evidence of lack of confidence on part of his new pal.
So DON'T-KEIR HARDIE, moving Amendment to Address, orated in his own clothes, whilst HOWARD VINCENT sat above Gangway near him, and punctuated his speech with persistent cry of "Hear! hear!" A notable figure his friend made. Evidently in the ranks of the Unemployed in the DON'T-KEIR HARDIE household are the comb and brush. Through a mass of black hair, matted on head and chin, DON'T-KEIR looked on House of Commons. The coat HOWARD VINCENT hankered after was rather a jacket, cut short, so as to hide little of the effulgence of his murky mustard-hued trowsers. Pockets alike of trowsers and jacket were bulging with letters and papers. You could see when he stood up to speak that he had just posted a letter to himself, sticking it in his waistcoat pocket, which only half concealed its surface.
Much in what the SQUIRE says. It turned out this afternoon he did not mourn as one who has no hope, FINLAY gone, but JESSE COLLINGS remains. Has in degree, the same physical and mental effect on Mr. G. that FINLAY had. This afternoon Mr. G. sitting on Treasury Bench, apparently waiting for Division. Debate on JESSE COLLINGS'S Amendment to Address flickering out. HENRY FOWLER, in vigorous speech, had replied for Government. EDWARD STANHOPE said a few words; nothing to be done but to take Division. Whilst STANHOPE speaking, Mr. G. turned round to see how forces were mustered. Accidentally his eye fell on benevolent visage of JESSE COLLINGS, just then lit up with smile of genial satisfaction at compliment paid him by personal reference in STANHOPE'S speech. In an instant Mr. G.'s visage and attitude altered. The spell had worked, and to surprise of House he followed STANHOPE, falling straightway upon the unsuspecting JESSE, treating him, as GRANDOLPH, an amused and interested spectator of the scene, observed, "with all the vigorous familiarity Pantaloon is accustomed to meet with at Christmastide."
"Right you are," said SQUIRE OF MALWOOD; "Twelve o'Clock Rule suspended; we can sit all night. Fire away!"
More hubbub; House divides, showing Government in possession of majority of 80. Renewed tumult when they come back from the Lobby. JESSE COLLINGS rising, with intent to implore House to remember its dignity, is met with such swift, sudden, rampant roar of "Rat! Rat!" that after ineffectual contest, he subsides. Another Division; Government majority gone up one. Fresh Motion made for Adjournment; Members tightening their belts for all-night sitting, when SQUIRE OF MALWOOD unexpectedly gives in. "Go on! go on!" excited Liberals cry.
"No," said the dignified Old Roman, throwing an imaginary toga over substantial shoulder. "No? they have done enough to make their position clear before the country. Let them go to bed." So at 2:20 A.M. they went.
New Members come, and old ones depart. Everybody sorry to hear of the death of LOUIS JENNINGS, a fine-natured, high-souled man, of brilliant intellect and wide culture. In later Sessions has been handicapped by the cruel illness that carried him off whilst in his prime. But he made his mark at Westminster as he had done in New York, India, and Printing House Square.
THE LEGAL INFANT'S GUIDE TO KNOWLEDGE.
CONCERNING THE STOCK EXCHANGE.
Time-Work versus Piece-Work!
A MAN WHO MAY BE SAID TO "KNOW THE ROPES."--M. BLONDIN.
NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.
Transcriber's Note--typographical errors fixed:
exit changed to exits at the end of "A Candid Friend" corrected a misplaced quotation mark in "Mary-Anner" added a missing apostrophe in "Mary-Anner" added a missing period in "The Man from Blankley's"
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