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Read Ebook: Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare William
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Ebook has 811 lines and 25171 words, and 17 pages
Leonato. Her mother hath many times told me so
Bened. Were you in doubt that you askt her? Leonato. Signior Benedicke, no, for then were you a childe
Pedro. You haue it full Benedicke, we may ghesse by this, what you are, being a man, truely the Lady fathers her selfe: be happie Lady, for you are like an honorable father
Ben. If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not haue his head on her shoulders for al Messina, as like him as she is
Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, signior Benedicke, no body markes you
Ben. What my deere Ladie Disdaine! are you yet liuing? Beat. Is it possible Disdaine should die, while shee hath such meete foode to feede it, as Signior Benedicke? Curtesie it selfe must conuert to Disdaine, if you come in her presence
Bene. Then is curtesie a turne-coate, but it is certaine I am loued of all Ladies, onely you excepted: and I would I could finde in my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truely I loue none
Beat. A deere happinesse to women, they would else haue beene troubled with a pernitious Suter, I thanke God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that, I had rather heare my Dog barke at a Crow, than a man sweare he loues me
Bene. God keepe your Ladiship still in that minde, so some Gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate scratcht face
Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, and 'twere such a face as yours were
Bene. Well, you are a rare Parrat teacher
Beat. A bird of my tongue, is better than a beast of your
Ben. I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer, but keepe your way a Gods name, I haue done
Beat. You alwaies end with a Iades tricke, I know you of old
Pedro. This is the summe of all: Leonato, signior Claudio, and signior Benedicke; my deere friend Leonato, hath inuited you all, I tell him we shall stay here, at the least a moneth, and he heartily praies some occasion may detaine vs longer: I dare sweare hee is no hypocrite, but praies from his heart
Leon. If you sweare, my Lord, you shall not be forsworne, let mee bid you welcome, my Lord, being reconciled to the Prince your brother: I owe you all duetie
Iohn. I thanke you, I am not of many words, but I thanke you
Leon. Please it your grace leade on? Pedro. Your hand Leonato, we will goe together.
Exeunt. Manet Benedicke and Claudio.
Clau. Benedicke, didst thou note the daughter of signior Leonato? Bene. I noted her not, but I lookt on her
Claud. Is she not a modest yong Ladie? Bene. Doe you question me as an honest man should doe, for my simple true iudgement? or would you haue me speake after my custome, as being a professed tyrant to their sexe? Clau. No, I pray thee speake in sober iudgement
Bene. Why yfaith me thinks shee's too low for a hie praise, too browne for a faire praise, and too little for a great praise, onely this commendation I can affoord her, that were shee other then she is, she were vnhandsome, and being no other, but as she is, I doe not like her
Clau. Thou think'st I am in sport, I pray thee tell me truely how thou lik'st her
Bene. Would you buie her, that you enquier after her? Clau. Can the world buie such a iewell? Ben. Yea, and a case to put it into, but speake you this with a sad brow? Or doe you play the flowting iacke, to tell vs Cupid is a good Hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare Carpenter: Come, in what key shall a man take you to goe in the song? Clau. In mine eie, she is the sweetest Ladie that euer I lookt on
Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter: there's her cosin, and she were not possest with a furie, exceedes her as much in beautie, as the first of Maie doth the last of December: but I hope you haue no intent to turne husband, haue you? Clau. I would scarce trust my selfe, though I had sworne the contrarie, if Hero would be my wife
Bene. Ist come to this? in faith hath not the world one man but he will weare his cap with suspition? shall I neuer see a batcheller of three score againe? goe to yfaith, and thou wilt needes thrust thy necke into a yoke, weare the print of it, and sigh away sundaies: looke, don Pedro is returned to seeke you.
Enter don Pedro, Iohn the bastard.
Pedr. What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to Leonatoes? Bened. I would your Grace would constraine mee to tell
Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegeance
Ben. You heare, Count Claudio, I can be secret as a dumbe man, I would haue you thinke so hee is in loue, With who? now that is your Graces part: marke how short his answere is, with Hero, Leonatoes short daughter
Clau. If this were so, so were it vttred
Bened. Like the old tale, my Lord, it is not so, nor 'twas not so: but indeede, God forbid it should be so
Clau. If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be otherwise
Pedro. Amen, if you loue her, for the Ladie is verie well worthie
Clau. You speake this to fetch me in, my Lord
Clau. And in faith, my Lord, I spoke mine
Bened. And by my two faiths and troths, my Lord, I speake mine
Clau. That I loue her, I feele
Pedr. That she is worthie, I know
Bened. That I neither feele how shee should be loued, nor know how shee should be worthie, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me, I will die in it at the stake
Pedr. Thou wast euer an obstinate heretique in the despight of Beautie
Clau. And neuer could maintaine his part, but in the force of his will Ben. That a woman conceiued me, I thanke her: that she brought mee vp, I likewise giue her most humble thankes: but that I will haue a rechate winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an inuisible baldricke, all women shall pardon me: because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will doe my selfe the right to trust none: and the fine is, I will liue a Batchellor
Pedro. I shall see thee ere I die, looke pale with loue
Bene. With anger, with sicknesse, or with hunger, my Lord, not with loue: proue that euer I loose more blood with loue, then I will get againe with drinking, picke out mine eyes with a Ballet-makers penne, and hang me vp at the doore of a brothel-house for the signe of blinde Cupid
Pedro. Well, if euer thou doost fall from this faith, thou wilt proue a notable argument
Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a Cat, & shoot at me, and he that hit's me, let him be clapt on the shoulder, and cal'd Adam
Pedro. Well, as time shall trie: In time the sauage Bull doth beare the yoake
Bene. The sauage bull may, but if euer the sensible Benedicke beare it, plucke off the bulles hornes, and set them in my forehead, and let me be vildely painted, and in such great Letters as they write, heere is good horse to hire: let them signifie vnder my signe, here you may see Benedicke the married man
Clau. If this should euer happen, thou wouldst bee horne mad
Pedro. Nay, if Cupid haue not spent all his Quiuer in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly
Bene. I looke for an earthquake too then
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