Read Ebook: Valerie by Marryat Frederick Wright Nooth W Engraver Downing D Illustrator

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Ebook has 442 lines and 30028 words, and 9 pages

I was well enough to sign my name to the marriage register, and he put the pen in my hand. I could not see where to sign, my eyes were swimming with tears. The clergyman guided my hand to the place, and I wrote Adele Chabot. The knowledge what the effect of this signature might possibly have upon my husband quite overcame me, and I sank my head down upon my hands upon the table.

"`I will send for a glass of water, sir,' said the clergyman leaving the vestry to call the verger, or clerk, `the lady is fainting.'

"After he went out, I heard the Colonel and his friend speaking in low tones apart. Probably they thought that I was not in a condition to pay attention to them,--but I had too much at stake.

"`Yes,' replied the Colonel, `she has signed, as you say, but she hardly knows what she is about. Depend upon it, it is as I told you.'

"I did not hear the Major's reply, but I did what the Colonel said.

"`It's all the better; the marriage will not be legal, and I can bring the parents to my own terms.'

"`Do you think that I love you the less for showing so much feeling, my dearest?' he replied, `no, no, it only makes you still more dear to me, as it convinces me what a sacrifice you have made for my sake.'

"Now, Valerie, could there be a prettier speech, or one so apparently sincere, from a newly-married man to his bride, and yet recollect what he said to his friend not a quarter of an hour before, about having my parents in his power by the marriage not being legal? I really am inclined to believe that we have two souls, a good and an evil one, continually striving for the mastery; one for this world, and the other for the next, and that the evil one will permit the good one to have its influence, provided that at the same time it has its own or an equal share in the direction of us. For instance, I believe the colonel was sincere in what he said, and really does love me, supposing me to be Caroline Stanhope, with the mundane advantages to be gained by the marriage, and that these better feelings of humanity are allowed to be exercised, and not interfered with by the adverse party, who is satisfied with its own Mammon share. But the struggle is to come when the evil spirit finds itself defrauded of its portion, and then attempts to destroy the influence of the good. He does love me now, and would have continued to love me, if disappointment will not tear up his still slightly-rooted affections. Now comes my task to cherish and protect it, till it has taken firm root, and all that woman can do shall be done. I felt that all that I required was time.

"`About twenty miles from London,' replied my husband, `after which, that is to-morrow, you shall decide upon our future plans.'

"`I care not where,' replied I, `with you place is indifferent, only do not refuse me the first favour that I request of you.'

"`Depend upon it I will not,' replied he.

"`It is this, dearest, take me where you will, but let it be three months before we return or come near London. You must feel my reason for making this request.'

"`I grant it with pleasure,' replied he, `for three months I am yours, and yours only. We will live for one another.'

"`Yes, and never let us mention any thing about future prospects, but devote the three months to each other.'

"`I understand you,' replied the colonel, `and I promise you it shall be so. I will have no correspondence even--there shall be nothing to annoy you or vex you in any way.'

"`For three months,' said I, extending my hand.

"`Agreed,' said he, `and to tell you the truth, it would have been my own feeling, had it not been yours. When you strike iron, you should do it when it is hot, but when you have to handle it, you had better wait till it is cool; you understand me, and now the subject is dropped.'

"My husband has adhered most religiously to his word up to the present time, as you will see by the date of this letter. We are now visiting the lakes of Cumberland. Never could a spot be better situated for the furtherance of my wishes. The calm repose and silent beauty of these waters must be reflected upon the mind of any one of feeling, which the colonel certainly does not want, and when you consider that I am exerting all the art which poor woman has to please, I do hope and pray to heaven that I may succeed in entwining myself round his heart before his worldly views are destroyed by disappointment. Pray for me, dear Valerie--pray for one who loves you dearly, and who feels that the whole happiness of her life is at stake.--Yours,--

"Adele."

"So far all goes well, my dear Adele," thought I, "but we have yet to see the end. I will pray for you with all my heart, for you deserve to be happy, and none can be more fascinating than you, when you exert yourself. What is it in women that I do not feel which makes them so mad after the other sex? Instinct, certainly, for reason is against it. Well, I have no objection to help others to commit the folly, provided that I am not led into it myself." Such were my reflections, as I closed the letter from Adele.

A few days afterwards I received a note from Mr Selwyn, junior, informing me that his father had been made a puisne judge. What that was I did not know, except that he was a judge on the bench, of some kind. He also stated his intention of calling upon me on the next day.

"Yes," thought I, "to receive the music from Caroline. Of course, she will return it to me when I give her a lesson to-day."

I was right in my supposition. Caroline brought me a piece of music with a note, saying, "Here is the music belonging to Miss Selwyn, Valerie; will you take an opportunity of returning it to her? Any time will do; I presume she is in no hurry," and Caroline coloured up, when her eyes met mine.

"To punish her," I replied, "Oh, no, there can be no hurry; I shall be down at Kew in a fortnight or three weeks, I will take it with me then."

"But my note, thanking Mr Selwyn, will be of very long date," replied Caroline, "and I want the other piece of music belonging to me which I left at Kew."

"Well, Caroline, you cannot expect me to be carrying your messages and going to the chambers of a handsome young Chancery-barrister. By-the-bye, I had a note from him this morning, telling me that his father is advanced to the bench. What does that mean?"

"That his father is made a judge. Is that all he said?" replied Caroline, carelessly.

"Why, now I think of it, he said that he would call upon me to-morrow, so I can give him this music when he calls."

At this intelligence Caroline's face brightened up, and she went away. Mr Selwyn called the next day, and I delivered the music and the note. He informed me that he had now all his father's private as well as Chancery business, and wished to know whether he was to consider himself my legal adviser. I replied, "Certainly; but that he could not expect the business of a teacher of music to be very profitable."

"No, nor do I intend that it shall be, but it will be a great pleasure," replied he, very gallantly. "I hope you have some money to put by."

"Yes," replied I, "I have some, but not quite enough; by the end of the year I hope to have 500 pounds."

"I am glad that you have told me, as a profitable investment may occur before that time, and I will secure it for you."

He asked permission to read Caroline's note, and then said that he would find the other piece of music, and leave it at Monsieur Gironac's in the course of a day or two--after which he took his leave. I received that evening a letter from Lionel, which had a great effect upon me. In it, he stated that at the fencing-school he had made acquaintance with a young officer, a Monsieur Auguste de Chatenoeuf,--that he had mentioned to him that he knew a lady of his name in England; that the officer had asked him what the age of the lady might be, and he had replied.

"Strange," said the officer; "I had a very dear sister, who was supposed to be drowned, although the body was never found. Can you tell me the baptismal name of the lady you mention?"

"It then occurred to me," continued Lionel, "that I might be imprudent if I answered, and I therefore said that I did not know, but I thought you had been called by your friends, Annette."

"`Then it cannot be she,' replied he, `for my sister's name was Valerie. But she may have changed her name--describe to me her face and figure.'

"As I at once felt certain that you were the party, and was aware, that the early portion of your life was never referred to by you, I thought it advisable to put him off the scent, until I had made this communication. I therefore replied, `That' `you were very plain, with a pug nose, and very short and fat.'

"`Then it must be somebody else,' replied the officer. `You made my heart beat when you first spoke about her, for I loved my sister dearly, and have never ceased to lament her loss.'

"He then talked a great deal of you, and gave me some history of your former life. I took the opportunity to ask whether your unnatural mother was alive, and he said, `Yes, and that your father was also alive and well.'

"I did not dare to ask more. Have I done right or wrong, my dear Mademoiselle Chatenoeuf? If wrong, I can easily repair the error. Your brother, for such I presume he is, I admire very much. He is very different from the officers of the French army in general, quite subdued, and very courteous, and there is a kind spirit in all he says, which makes me like him more. You have no idea of the feeling he showed, when he talked about you--that is, if it is you--which I cannot but feel almost certain that it is. One observation of his, I think it right to make known to you, which is, that he told me that since your supposed death, your father had never held up his head; indeed, he said that he had never seen him smile since."

The above extract from Lionel's letter created such a revulsion, that I was obliged to retire to my chamber to conceal my agitated feelings from Madame Gironac. I wept bitterly for some time. I thought of what my poor father must have suffered, and the regrets of poor Auguste at my supposed death; and I doubted whether I was justified in the act I had committed, by the treatment I had received from my mother. If she had caused me so much pain, was I right in having given so much to others who loved me? My poor father, he had never smiled since! Should I permit him to wear out his days in sorrowing for my loss--oh, no! I no longer felt any animosity against others who had ill-treated me. Surely, I could forgive even my mother, if not for love of her, at all events for love of my father and my brother. Yes, I would do so, I was now independent of my mother and all the family. I had nothing to fear from her; I could assist my family, if they required it.

Such were my first feelings--but then came doubts and fears. Could not my mother claim me? insist upon my living with her? prevent my earning my livelihood? or if I did employ myself, could she not take from me all my earnings? Yes, by the law of France, I thought she could. Then again, would she forgive me the three years of remorse? the three years during which she had been under the stigma of having, by her barbarity, caused her child to commit self-destruction? the three years of reproach which she must have experienced from my father's clouded brow? Would she ever forgive me for having obtained my independence by the very talents which she would not allow me to cultivate? No, never, unless her heart was changed.

An answer arrived the next day, stating, that Judge Selwyn would call and take me down with him to Kew, where I should sleep, and return to town with him on the following morning. This suited me very well, and, as soon as the carriage was off the stones, I said that I was now about to confide to him that portion of my life with which he was unacquainted, and ask his advice how I ought to proceed, in consequence of some intelligence lately communicated by Lionel. I then went into the whole detail, until I arrived at my being taken away from the barracks by Madame d'Albret; the remainder of my life he knew sufficient of, and I then gave him Lionel's letter to read, and when he had done so, I stated to him what my wishes and what my fears were, and begged him to decide for me what was best to be done.

"This is an eventful history, Valerie," said the old gentleman. "I agree with you on the propriety of making your existence known to your brother, and also to your father, who has been sufficiently punished for his cowardice. Whether your father will be able to contain his secret, I doubt very much; and from what you have told me of your mother, I should certainly not trust myself in France. I am not very well informed of the laws of the country, but it is my impression that children are there under the control of their parents until they are married. Go to France I therefore would not, unless it were as a married woman: then you will be safe. When does Lionel come over?"

"He will come at any time if I say I wish it."

"Then let him come over, and invite your brother to come with him, then you can arrange with him. I really wish you were married, Valerie, and I wish also that my son was married; I should like to be a grandfather before I die."

"With respect to my marrying, sir, I see little chance of that; I dislike the idea, and, in fact, it would be better to be with my mother at once, for I prefer an old tyranny to a new one."

"It does not follow, my dear Valerie; depend upon it there are many happy marriages. Am I a tyrant in my own house? Does my wife appear to be a slave?"

"Indeed," replied the judge, "I know of no one, and he would hardly marry without consulting me."

"Yes, sir, I think that he will, and I shall advise him so to do--as it is necessary that nothing should be known till it is over. Trust to me, sir, that if it does take place, you will be quite satisfied with the choice which he makes; but I must have your pledge not to say one word about it. You might spoil all."

The old judge fell back in his carriage in a reverie, which lasted some little while, and then said, "Valerie, I believe that I understand you now. If it is as I guess, I certainly agree with you that I will ask no more questions, as I should for many reasons not wish it to appear that I know any thing about it."

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