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Read Ebook: Monsieur Cherami by Kock Paul De Ives George Burnham Translator
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Ebook has 4319 lines and 121825 words, and 87 pages
A woman, of forty years or thereabout, who could not easily have found a compartment large enough to hold her, entered the office, leading two small boys, one of eight and one of four years, who were dressed like the little trained dogs that do tricks on the boulevards, and whose noses had evidently been overlooked because of their hurried departure from home.
A servant, laden with an enormous basket, from which protruded divers fishes' tails and bunches of leeks, and with an insecurely tied pasteboard box, bulging as to the sides and split in several places, sulkily followed her mistress, hitting everybody with her basket and box, without a word of apology, but apparently rather inclined to make wry faces at her victims.
"I want two seats for Romainville, monsieur--for me and my maid; my boys don't pay, because we hold them in our laps."
"Madame, this boy is certainly more than five; he must pay."
"But, monsieur, I tell you, I hold him in my lap; so we only fill one seat."
"That must annoy your neighbors."
"I don't suppose people ride in omnibuses to be comfortable!--Aristoloche, where are you going? Stay with your nurse, sir! Adelaide, do look out for the child; you know how fretful he is!"
Mademoiselle Adelaide, who looked more like a cook than a lady's maid, had gone with her packages and planted herself on a bench, between an old gentleman and an old woman, causing them to jump into the air as if they were elastic. The shock was so violent that the old woman shrieked, thinking that she had been electrified. The man, irritated beyond words by the manner in which the servant had plumped down beside him, and perceiving that the fishes' tails which protruded from her basket were caressing the sleeves of his coat, pushed the basket away with his elbow, exclaiming:
"What sort of way is that to sit down, throwing yourself onto people? Pay attention to what you are doing, mademoiselle, and be good enough to move your basket; I have no desire to have your fish rub against my sleeves and make them smell like poison."
"What! what do you say? What's the matter with the old fellow?"
"I tell you to move your basket; I don't want it under my nose."
"Where do you want me to put my basket, eh? On the floor perhaps, so that someone can steal it! Oh, yes! we should have a nice time in the country, where there's never anything to eat. What harm does the basket do you?"
"It smells like the devil!"
"Nonsense, it's yourself!"
"I pity the passengers in the 'bus with you; they'll have a fine time!"
"Shut up, you old cucumber! you'd like to be as fresh as my fish!"
The epithet old cucumber touched the old man to the quick; he got up and walked away, muttering:
"If you weren't a woman, I'd stuff your words down your throat!"
"Oh, indeed! you'd have plenty to do then, for I feel like saying a good deal more to you."
"But, Adelaide, I beg you, look out for Aristoloche; he's going out of the office."
"Well, I can't help it, madame; I can't attend to everything; I have quite enough to do with your box and your basket--and with talking back to this veteran."
"La Villette--all aboard!--Monsieur, you're for La Villette; hurry up!"
These words were addressed to the old man who was disputing with Adelaide, and who, as he left, bestowed a crushing glance on the servant, who laughed in his face and administered a cuff to young Aristoloche, the child of four, who, despite his mamma's orders, persisted in trying to leave the office.
A BLONDE AND A BRUNETTE
"We don't sell tickets for Romainville, madame, but for Belleville; there you'll find the Romainville stage."
"Oh! you don't sell tickets for Romainville here; that's very unpleasant. Shall we have to pay again when we change?"
"Yes, madame; but if you take checks, it will be only four sous twenty centimes."
"For each?"
"To be sure."
"I hate it; the feathers make me squint."
"Hold your tongue, bad boy; your aunt bought that hat for you; you won't get another for two years!"
"Take off the feathers, then!"
"Hush! you don't deserve to be so fine!"
"They're little villains! They say that from envy, for they'd like right well to have a hat like yours.--Say, monsieur, can you promise me a seat in the other 'bus?"
"Oh! I can't promise you; but if there's no room in that, there's sure to be in the next one."
"Do they start often?"
"Every twenty minutes."
"Wait twenty minutes! why, that's horrible! Oh! how sorry I am I promised my aunt to dine with her to-day!"
"Especially," muttered the servant, "as we have to carry our own dinner when we dine with her.--A pretty kind of invitation! She don't ruin herself giving dinner parties!"
"Here, give me two tickets for Belleville."
"Here they are, madame."
"Come here, Aristoloche; come here this minute! Oh! how these children do torment me! They're like little snakes!"
"All aboard for Belleville!"
"Belleville, why that's ours! Take Aristoloche's hand, Adelaide."
"That's very convenient, when I have a basket and a box already!"
But before the stout woman, with her servant and the two children, had left the office, the Belleville omnibus had started off; there was but one vacant seat, and twenty people were waiting for it. You should have seen the disappointment depicted on all those faces then. Several persons, tired of waiting, decided to walk. Others remained in the square; but the majority returned to the office, where all the benches were already filled. These public carriages are surely an excellent invention; but let us admit that they are not equal to the most modest of char-?-bancs, which is entirely at your service, even when you only hire it.
Finding no place to sit inside the office, the dame with the little boys seated herself and them on a bench outside. As for the servant, she succeeded in finding room inside; the fish in her basket was of much assistance to her in inducing others to make room; there was a general rush to get as far away from her as possible.
The party with the cake returned, and ran up to the clerk.
"Well! isn't it about time for us to start?"
"Where are you going, monsieur?"
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