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Read Ebook: Peg Woffington by Reade Charles
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Ebook has 1466 lines and 55547 words, and 30 pages
"Gentlemen," said Cibber, with pathetic gravity, "the wind howls most dismally this evening! I took it for a drunken shoemaker!"
At this there was a roar of laughter, except from Mr. Vane. Peg Woffington laughed as merrily as the others, and showed a set of teeth that were really dazzling; but all in one moment, without the preliminaries an ordinary countenance requires, this laughing Venus pulled a face gloomy beyond conception. Down came her black brows straight as a line, and she cast a look of bitter reproach on all present; resuming her study, as who should say, "Are ye not ashamed to divert a poor girl from her epilogue?" And then she went on, "Mum! mum! mum!" casting off ever and anon resentful glances; and this made the fools laugh again.
The Laureate was now respectfully addressed by one of his admirers, James Quin, the Falstaff of the day, and the rival at this time of Garrick in tragic characters, though the general opinion was, that he could not long maintain a standing against the younger genius and his rising school of art.
Off the stage, James Quin was a character; his eccentricities were three--a humorist, a glutton and an honest man; traits that often caused astonishment and ridicule, especially the last.
"May we not hope for something from Mr. Cibber's pen after so long a silence?"
"No," was the considerate reply. "Who have ye got to play it?"
"Plenty," said Quin; "there's your humble servant, there's--"
"Humility at the head of the list," cried she of the epilogue. "Mum! mum! mum!"
Vane thought this so sharp.
"Garrick, Barry, Macklin, Kitty Clive here at my side, Mrs. Cibber, the best tragic actress I ever saw; and Woffington, who is as good a comedian as you ever saw, sir;" and Quin turned as red as fire.
"Keep your temper, Jemmy," said Mrs. Woffington with a severe accent. "Mum! mum! mum!"
Here was a blow.
"The public," said Quin, in some agitation, "would snore if we acted as they did in your time."
Mr. Quin was silenced. Peg Woffington looked off her epilogue.
"Bad as we are," said she coolly, "we might be worse."
Mr. Cibber turned round, slightly raised his eyebrows.
"Indeed!" said he. "Madam!" added he, with a courteous smile, "will you be kind enough to explain to me how you could be worse!"
"If, like a crab, we could go backward!"
At this the auditors tittered; and Mr. Cibber had recourse to his spy-glass.
This gentleman was satirical or insolent, as the case might demand, in three degrees, of which the snuff-box was the comparative, and the spy-glass the superlative. He had learned this on the stage; in annihilating Quin he had just used the snuff weapon, and now he drew his spy-glass upon poor Peggy.
"Whom have we here?" said he. Then he looked with his spy-glass to see. "Oh, the little Irish orange-girl!"
"Whose basket outweighed Colley Cibber's salary for the first twenty years of his dramatic career," was the delicate reply to the above delicate remark. It staggered him for a moment; however, he affected a most puzzled air, then gradually allowed a light to steal into his features.
"Eh! ah! oh! how stupid I am; I understand; you sold something besides oranges!"
"Oh!" said Mr. Vane, and colored up to the temples, and cast a look on Cibber, as much as to say, "If you were not seventy-three!"
His ejaculation was something so different from any tone any other person there present could have uttered that the actress's eye dwelt on him for a single moment, and in that moment he felt himself looked through and through.
"I sold the young fops a bargain, you mean," was her calm reply; "and now I am come down to the old ones. A truce, Mr. Cibber, what do you understand by an actor? Tell me; for I am foolish enough to respect your opinion on these matters!"
"Cibber," inserted Sir Charles Pomander. Cibber bowed.
"In his dressing-room, and comes out young or old, a fop, a valet, a lover, or a hero, with voice, mien, and every gesture to match. A grain less than this may be good speaking, fine preaching, deep grunting, high ranting, eloquent reciting; but I'll be hanged if it is acting!"
"Then Colley Cibber never acted," whispered Quin to Mrs. Clive.
"Then Margaret Woffington is an actress," said M. W.; "the fine ladies take my Lady Betty for their sister. In Mrs. Day, I pass for a woman of seventy; and in Sir Harry Wildair I have been taken for a man. I would have told you that before, but I didn't know it was to my credit," said she, slyly, "till Mr. Cibber laid down the law."
"Proof!" said Cibber.
Mr. Cibber conveyed behind her back a look of absolute incredulity; she divined it.
"I will not show you the letters," continued she, "because Sir Harry, though a rake, was a gentleman; but here are the buckles;" and she fished them out of her pocket, capacious of such things. The buckles were gravely inspected, they made more than one eye water, they were undeniable.
"Well, let us see what we can do for her," said the Laureate. He tapped his box and without a moment's hesitation produced the most execrable distich in the language:
"Now who is like Peggy, with talent at will, A maid loved her Harry, for want of a Bill?
"If you could be deceived," put in Mr. Vane, somewhat timidly; "I think there is no disguise through which grace and beauty such as Mrs. Woffington's would not shine, to my eyes."
"That is to praise my person at the expense of my wit, sir, is it not?" was her reply.
This was the first word she had ever addressed to him. The tones appeared so sweet to him that he could not find anything to reply for listening to them; and Cibber resumed:
"Meantime, I will show you a real actress; she is coming here to-night to meet me. Did ever you children hear of Ann Bracegirdle?"
"Bracegirdle!" said Mrs. Clive; "why, she has been dead this thirty years; at least I thought so."
"Dead to the stage. There is more heat in her ashes than in your fire, Kate Clive! Ah! here comes her messenger," continued he, as an ancient man appeared with a letter in his hand. This letter Mrs. Woffington snatched and read, and at the same instant in bounced the call-boy. "Epilogue called," said this urchin, in the tone of command which these small fry of Parnassus adopt; and, obedient to his high behest, Mrs. Woffington moved to the door, with the Bracegirdle missive in her hand, but not before she had delivered its general contents: "The great actress will be here in a few minutes," said she, and she glided swiftly out of the room.
PEOPLE whose mind or manners possess any feature, and are not as devoid of all eccentricity as half pounds of butter bought of metropolitan grocers, are recommended not to leave a roomful of their acquaintances until the last but one. Yes, they should always be penultimate. Perhaps Mrs. Woffington knew this; but epilogues are stubborn things, and call-boys undeniable.
"Did you ever hear a woman whistle before?"
"Never; but I saw one sit astride on an ass in Germany!"
"The saddle was not on her husband, I hope, madam?"
"No, sir; the husband walked by his kinsfolk's side, and made the best of a bad bargain, as Peggy's husband will have to."
"I deny that, sir; since his wife will always have enough for both."
"I have not observed the lady's brass," said Vane, trembling with passion; "but I observed her talent, and I noticed that whoever attacks her to her face comes badly off."
"Well said, sir," answered Quin; "and I wish Kitty here would tell us why she hates Mrs. Woffington, the best-natured woman in the theater?"
"I don't hate her, I don't trouble my head about her."
"Yes, you hate her; for you never miss a cut at her!"
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