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Read Ebook: Legends of Lancashire by Landreth Peter
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Ebook has 63 lines and 6020 words, and 2 pages
"A railway from Joppa to Jerusalem" sounds like a Scriptural line. In future, "going to Jericho" will not imply social banishment, as the party sent thither will be able to take a return-ticket.
SO NICE AND SYMPATHETIC.--A gentleman, whose one glass eye had served him for years, had the misfortune to drop it. It smashed to atoms. This happened when he was far away in the country. He inquired of a friend where was the nearest place for him to go and get refitted.
"Why don't you call upon the girl you were flirting with all last night?" his friend inquired. "She has a first-class reputation for making eyes."
BALLOONERY.--"We went spinning through the air!" said an enthusiastic aeronaut, describing his recent trial trip.
"Indeed!" observed his companion, meditatively. "Judging by your description it sounds as if you had been in an 'heir-loom' instead of an 'air-ship.'"
TO ABSENT FRIENDS.
Dear Brown and Jones and Robinson and many thousands more, Now spending dismal holidays on some dank sea-girt shore, You, who affect to pity those compelled in town to stay, Should rather envy us, because we cannot get away.
While you are hiring tiny rooms at many pounds a week, And huddle there and watch parades that run with rain, and reek, Contrast my cheerful aspect with your discontented looks, As here I stay at ease among my pictures and my books.
The dainty shops of Regent Street teem with their treasures still, The Park with all its beauties we can now enjoy at will; No longer do the jostling crowds provoke an angry frown, But leisurely we relish the amenities of town.
Thus basking in the keen delights that empty London owns , So long as you may care to stay, and business is slack, I cannot honestly declare I long to see you back.
When the chairman of a railway company speaks of "the diversion of traffic," may it be understood that "pleasure trips and excursions" are covered by this expression?
THE TRAVELLERS TRICKED
THE SKELETON TOURIST'S VADE MECUM
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