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Read Ebook: That Awful Letter: A Comedy for Girls by MacKenzie Edna I
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Ebook has 128 lines and 9779 words, and 3 pages
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PAINE'S POPULAR PLAYS
That Awful Letter
Mac KENZIE
PAINE PUBLISHING CO. DAYTON, OHIO
NO PLAYS EXCHANGED
New Entertainment Songs
These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music is easy, and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price 25 cents each. Five copies, .00.
Paine Publishing Company - - Dayton, Ohio
That Awful Letter
PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY DAYTON, OHIO
THAT AWFUL LETTER
CHARACTERS
MARGARET NEILSON--A Snobbish City Girl. ELIZABETH NORTON--Her Country Cousin. HELEN MONTGOMERY--Margaret's Dearest Friend. EDITH BROWNING--A Friend of Elizabeth's. NORA--A Maid of Neilson's
SCENE I
MARGARET-- There's no use in my trying to read or do anything else when I'm so provoked. I don't see why dad can't Oh, drat that bell! I don't want to see any person. I wish people would stay at home. Oh! it's Helen! I wonder what she wants now. She is always running over and I'm sure I'm never over there any more than four times a day at the most. Oh Helen, you dear girl! I'm so glad to see you. I was just wishing you would come over. Do take off your hat and stay awhile. I've just been so mad I could boil over or bite somebody or do something awful.
HELEN--Why, what is the matter with you? What are you mad about?
MARGARET--Well, sit down and I'll tell you about it. It seems that dad has some country relations somewhere in the backwoods. He's had them ever since he was born but he's just remembering them now. Well, it seems that there's a girl about my age and dad was looking over some old photos last night and came across one of her when she was six years old. That picture put him into the notion that he would like to see that girl and nothing will do but I must write and ask her up.
HELEN--That won't hurt you, will it? I think it would be nice to have a girl visiting you. I know when Marian Staddon was visiting me, we had a dandy time--parties, dances, and heaps of things.
HELEN-- Gee! but isn't she some snob. Well, nobody is deceived I can vouch for that. I know Edith Browning is the whole thing just at present. I've met her several times and think she is lovely, not a bit stuck up, you know. Of course we want to get in with her, especially this winter when Beth Norton is going to visit her, for everybody will be having parties and things for her.
MARGARET--And pray, who is Beth Norton?
HELEN--Don't you know? Why, she is the girl that all the girls at Erskine College were just crazy about. Why, they say there's never been a girl there before who was as popular. And act! Why, she took the chief parts in all their plays and the girls said she had any professional actress beaten all to pieces. Oh yes, we must manage to get in with them if we can. Now about your cousin, say, why can't you have her up for just a couple of days and keep her out of the way?
MARGARET--Dad is bound that I'll invite her up for two weeks anyway. I can generally manage him pretty well, but this time he's as obstinate as a mule. I'm glad I didn't inherit his bad qualities.
HELEN-- I think she has all of his and some of her own to boot, I have an idea. Write her such a letter that if she has any sense at all she'll know she's not wanted and then perhaps she won't come.
HELEN-- Tell her that,--oh, I don't know. You ought to be good at that sort of thing. . Writing letters I mean. You can write such splendid ones, you know.
MARGARET-- There, that ought to do the trick. What do you think of it?
HELEN--Well, if she can't take the hint from that that she's not wanted, she must be as dense as a--a fog! I must go for I promised to stay only a few minutes. Good-bye I hope your cousin won't be too boorish if she does come.
CURTAIN
SCENE II
ELIZABETH-- I wonder who this letter's from. I don't know the writing and it's from New York City. But there's lot of people I know there. Perhaps it's from one of those little girls at Erskine College that were always getting a crush on us bigger girls and bothering us to death with their gushing. Now, who is it from anyway? Say, I never thought of it, but perhaps if I opened it I'd find out.
Dear Cousin Elizabeth:
Father wished me to write and ask you to visit us for a couple of weeks. I know that you really wouldn't want to come as you'd feel so shy and awkward in a city home and among the girls in our set and doubtless you have no clothes suitable for the city; but as he wished me to ask you, I have done so.
Yours truly, Margaret Neilson.
ELIZABETH--What a queer letter! I wonder if any of the girls are playing a trick on me. Now, I have it. I've heard mother mention her brother, Jerry Neilson, who went to the city and his aristocratic wife made him cut his country relations when they got rich. So this must be from my cousin. But how could any girl write such a rude, insolent letter like that! She certainly was forced to write against her will. I bet her father never saw that letter. It would serve her right if I sent it to him. I'd feel out of place in a city home and in her set! Well, that's a joke, when I've been in some of the best homes in New York City. I wonder what Edith Browning would say to that and a lot of the other girls at dear old Erskine. Well, my dear cousin, I'll just write you a polite note of refusal.
"Miss Edith Norton regrets with pleasure the sincerely cordial and hospitable invitation of Miss Margaret Neilson." Oh, I've an idea! I'll accept my kind and hospitable cousin's invitation since she's so anxious to have me and since she expects me to be such a queer freak from the backwoods, it would be too bad to disappoint her, so I'll dress and act the part of the poor country cousin she's looking for. Oh, it will be heaps of fun. I'll stay there a day and then I'll pay Edith Browning that visit I've promised her for ages. The girls at Erskine always said I was a born actress and now I'll have the chance to prove whether they were just flattering me or not. Why, Mildred Ewing lives just a couple houses from there. I'll dress there and just slip over when the coast is clear. There's some of my masquerade costumes up in the attic. I'll run and see if I can find something suitable for my new role. Say, but won't I lead my dear cousin a merry dance!
CURTAIN
HELEN--Say, what's up now that you had to have me come over in such a hurry? Have you any startling news?
MARGARET--Oh Helen, I'm in a terrible fix and all over that awful letter you made me write to--
HELEN-- I made you write!
MARGARET--Yes, to Elizabeth--or Lizzie as I guess she's called. Would you ever think she'd accept that invitation?
HELEN--No, she hasn't, has she?
MARGARET--Yes, she has and here's her answer. Just look at the spelling and the style! Wouldn't it crimp you? And just wait until I read it to you
I've been wanting ter visit the city ever since I was skin high to a grasshopper, but didn't know I had any kin in the city that I could visit. It's awferlly kind of youse to ask me and I'll be there as sure as guns this coming Wednesday. I jest got some new clothes made by Susannah Sparks and they're mighty stylish, I kin tell yer. I aint a bit bashful so youse kin invite all the people in youse like. I'd like ter meet yer friends awful well. Remember me to yer pap.
Yers to a sliver, Lizzie Norton.
Isn't that perfectly awful? That means she'll be here to-morrow and oh, she must be dreadful! And what if she should tell dad about that awful letter we wrote! Oh, why did I do it, and whatever will I do?
HELEN-- Oh, cheer up! Things might be worse. You can manage to avoid the girls for awhile and you can give Lizzie books to read or something to keep her in the background and out of mischief.
MARGARET-- It's a good thing she isn't coming today for you know I've invited Edith Browning for tea and I want to be on my best behavior and be as nice as I can so as to make a good impression. If Lizzie were here, I would be mortified to death. Oh, there's the bell. It's too early for Edith. I wonder who it is. There's Nora answering the door now. Good heavens, who can that awful person be!
HELEN--What person? Goodness, I bet she's escaped from some asylum. But listen, Nora's going to settle her.
NORA-- Yez can't come in here. This is no place for the likes of ye. Ye'd better thry the asylum where ye belong.
ELIZABETH-- Yer'd better go there yerself. Let me tell yer that I kin come in if I want ter. I've come to visit my Uncle Jerry and yer needn't think a red-haired freckled flip of a thing like yer can stop me. Now stop making a door of yerself and let me through or I'll tell my cousin Maggie on yer.
HELEN--Good heavens, here she comes!
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