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Read Ebook: That Awful Letter: A Comedy for Girls by MacKenzie Edna I
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Ebook has 128 lines and 9779 words, and 3 pages
HELEN--Good heavens, here she comes!
MARGARET--Merciful powers, it's Lizzie! Isn't she--
ELIZABETH-- Helloa, girls! Be one of youse my cousin Maggie? I'm Lizzie Norton. I got a chance ter come up a day earlier so I didn't think it would make any odds.
ELIZABETH-- Say, what's the matter with youse? Be youse both deef and dumb?
HELEN-- Well, I should say! And her clothes sure are the latest style as there's never been any like them--yet!
ELIZABETH-- Well, youse didn't tell me ter take off my hat, but I guess I'll make myself ter hum. My, aint everything here perfectly grand! Youse folks must be pretty stylish. Now, ter home us folks aint never seen such nice things. Say, how's Uncle Jerry, Maggie?
ELIZABETH--Oh, yer rather peppery aint yer? I'm sure Jerry is just as good a name as yer kin find anywhere. Why, we named our old white horse that and a better horse yer couldn't have. As for Maggie, our black and white spotted cow is called that and she gives more milk than any of them. Say, aint you going to interduce me to your friend? At hum we always interduce everybody to everybody else.
MARGARET--I beg your pardon. This is my friend, Miss Helen Montgomery.
ELIZABETH--Please ter meet you, Helly. I suspect I'll get real acquainted with yer before my visit's over. Yer don't look quite as stuck-uppish as my cousin there.
HELEN--I feel greatly complimented, I'm sure. She's summed up Margaret pretty well for a green country girl.
ELIZABETH-- Say, girls, yer dressed up mighty swell. Be yer going to a party?
MARGARET-- Why, no, these are just our every-day clothes.
ELIZABETH--. You don't say! Don't you like my new dress? I was bound to have Susannah make it stylish and put in all the pleats and frills she could. I think she made a real good job of it, don't youse?
HELEN-- Why, yes, I think it is beautiful and what a lovely hat you have and so becoming.
ELIZABETH-- Yes, I think it mighty nice and so should it be for it was awferlly expensive. I paid .98 for the shape itself at and I trimmed it myself.
HELEN-- It wouldn't need a detective to make that discovery, that's one thing sure.
HELEN--Oh yes, how did you when you had never been in the city before?
ELIZABETH--Well, now, I did have a mighty hard time of it at first. I asked one of them policemen if he could tell me where Uncle Jer--where Mr. J. Ernest Neilson lived and he just laughed at me.
HELEN--Well, I should think he would. Didn't you know any better than that?
ELIZABETH-- Why, I was told that them policemen could answer any kind of a question. At hum everybody knows where everybody else lives so I thought it would be the same here. Anyway he asked what his address was and I showed him the top of yer letter.
MARGARET-- You didn't show him my letter!
ELIZABETH--Sure and he must have got a good squint at what was in it, too, for he looked so funny. Well he told me to get into one of them street car things, and the feller who was all dressed up in brass buttons and took the tickets told me when to get into another so it was real easy. But I think the people here are dreadfully imperlite. They kept giggling and giggling. I asked one what the joke was and she grew awfully red and didn't answer. I think it's mighty rude not to tell other folks the joke, why down to hum--. Say, what's the matter with your noses? Have they nervous twitches in them? Get a bottle of Dr. Cure-all's syrup of tar at and it will soon stop that for it cured my cold. Laws a me, I'm awfully thirsty. Where's the kitchen . Never mind coming. I'll just use the dipper so you don't need to get me a glass.
MARGARET--Well, tell Nora to get you a drink. . Oh Helen, I never saw anybody so common--
MARGARET--All right. I'd try anything. But here she comes now. . Oh Lizzie, I know you must be pretty tired after your long journey. I think perhaps you had better rest quietly until tea time. Then I'll tell Nora to fix you up a nice dainty tray and you'll be under no nervous strain at all.
HELEN--For goodness sake, Margaret, cheer up, you're not dead yet!
MARGARET--I wish I were. What am I going to do? and Edith is due any minute. I wonder what made Lizzie strike today.
HELEN-- Well, do you know, I like her!
MARGARET-- Do you really? Well, I believe I do myself. There's something rather refreshing about her and she's so frank and good-natured. She doesn't bear the least grudge for that horrid letter we sent. Perhaps she doesn't see anything wrong with it though. Oh, whatever made me do it? I feel as mean as dirt everytime I think of it. I'd give anything if I had never written it.
HELEN--Yes, I guess it was pretty shabby, but what's done cannot be undone. Anyway, I don't suppose she knows enough to take offense at it. Oh, I have an idea!
MARGARET--, I notice that you do catch on to one once in a while. Well let's hear it.
HELEN-- Now, wouldn't that crimp you! She couldn't find an idea all by herself in a thousand years. . Why, I was just thinking that Lizzie would look quite pretty if she had a decent dress to wear and was fixed up some. Now, what's to hinder you lending her one of your pretty dresses and doing her hair in some becoming fashion? I bet she wouldn't look bad at all.
MARGARET--Why, she wouldn't. I'll go right up now and do it , or she'll be coming down in some awful concoction of a dress. Oh, dear, I feel awfully nervous.
HELEN--Did you hear what she said about nerves? The very idea, when nerves are all the go now. . Oh, there's Edith now. I wish she had stayed away for half an hour longer.
HELEN--Talk for a few minutes and then excuse yourself and I'll entertain Edith until you come back.
MARGARET-- Helen, you're a dear and just full of ideas. I don't know what I'd do without you. .
HELEN--, Behold the expanding of Miss Margaret Neilson's character. She is actually wakening up to what I am trying to do for her and has even expressed one grain of gratitude. Well I guess I'll hang on to the grain, perhaps it will sprout. Goodness I'd better get these out of sight or they'd be a sure giveaway.
MARGARET--You know Helen Montgomery don't you, Miss Browning?
EDITH--Oh call me Edith, it's more sociable and I'll call you Margaret. Why yes, , I have met you several times, haven't I? Coming to a new city it takes a person quite awhile to get acquainted, but I'm managing not too badly.
HELEN--Why, I should say not. You have made hosts of friends already from all accounts.
EDITH--Yes, everybody has been awfully kind to me and then I'd met several people when I was at Erskine. I hope you girls weren't expecting me any sooner. I had some shopping to do and that delayed me.
MARGARET--Oh, that's all right, but we were just saying we wish you'd hurry up so that we could have a nice, long chat about everything before supper, so--
HELEN-- Oh, Edith, do tell us about some of the jolly times you had at Erskine College. I'm just aching to hear about them. .
MARGARET--Yes, please do! .
EDITH--Why, I could tell you lots, but really I wouldn't know where to begin and once I began, I wouldn't know where to stop. For one thing we used to have midnight suppers whenever one of the girls would get a box from home. We'd all meet in one room and have nothing but candles for a light and when we heard anyone coming, we would have to blow them out, quick as wink. Oh, but it was exciting when we heard any footsteps outside! There'd be a wild scamper, I can tell you.
HELEN AND MARGARET--I guess there would be. What would you do?
EDITH--Everybody would grab the first thing that came handy and we'd make ourselves as small as possible. We'd squeeze four or five into bed with the eats and a few under while the rest would get into a closet. One of the girls would snore and the teacher would think she was asleep and pass on. It was pretty hard on the eats, though, being grabbed in such a hurry and getting all crushed up, but then it was lots of excitement and fun.
HELEN--What else did you do?
EDITH--Well, we put on some pretty good amateur plays. Beth Norton, was simply grand in anything like that. Say, you just ought to know Beth. She's the dearest girl out. Everybody raved over her at Erskine. She was just bubbling over with fun and mischief and kept things lively all the time. She was so good-hearted and kind too and had the most forgiving nature. One girl said she was so full of fun that there wasn't a speck of room for spite to lodge in.
MARGARET--She must be lovely. I'd like awfully well to meet her.
EDITH--Well, I don't see why you couldn't for I just got a letter from her and she said she was going to visit me in a couple days. She said she was visiting some snobbish cousin of hers who needs to be taken down a peg or two. I'd love to see her do it, but I wouldn't like to be the cousin, I can tell you.
MARGARET--No, nor I either, but those people who put on such airs ought to have it taken out of them some way or other. I wonder who she is.
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