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Read Ebook: The Twins and How They Entertained the New Minister: A Farce by Guptill Elizabeth F Elizabeth Frances
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Ebook has 106 lines and 6808 words, and 3 pages
BOBBY. Sub ones, she means. Mamma don't like 'em. She hates begging ministers. She always signs, you know, 'cause she must, but she can't afford to give away a whole dollar, or even half a one, 'cause her clothes are awful 'spensive, and the dressmaker bothers her awfully with bills. Oh, wouldn't you like a cigar?
BOBBY. Oh yes I will. It's lots nicer than chewing. Just you try. Or are you 'fraid it will make you sick? It did me, when I tried it, but I'm going to try a cigarette next time. Taint so strong. P'raps you better.
BETTY. You better not. Maybe your Mamma wouldn't like it. Mamma spanked Bobby.
BOBBY. Mamma's coming.
BETTY. We've entertained you good, haven't we? We haven't told anything we ought to not, have we? 'Cause if we have, we'll get spanked and sent to bed, when you're gone.
BOBBY. If we have, don't you tell. Be a good sport, and don't tattle. Here comes Mamma.
BETTY. And she's got her new dress on. We've entertained him, Mamma!
CURTAIN
Our Five Money Getters
THE RAG SOCIABLE
A quaint old fashioned entertainment which is always sure to please.
Libretto by Edith S. Tillotsen Music by Various Composers
The dialog is very spicy and interesting, and humor and pathos are beautifully blended in the various musical selections. The characters include Mrs. Winters and her two daughters Betsy and Maria, Miss Jemima Rush, Mrs. Bassett, Mrs. Collins, Mrs. Salina Grey, the Allen twins , Mrs. Martha Ann Hall, Miss Eliza Hall, Mrs. Jane Tompkins, Jane Tompkins and Amanda Tompkins. The list of characters may be extended ad. lib. to meet local conditions.
THE OLD DISTRICT SCHOOL
A Farce In Two Acts
Book by Wm. Danforth Music arr. by Geo. F. Rosche
This is a burlesque on the district school of 100 years ago. Ezekiel Simpkins, the teacher, is the central character. His costume is a tight Prince Albert coat, with brass buttons, or a worn and faded "claw-hammer" coat; colored vest, cut low; stock collar, with large black tie; trousers, "high-water," with a patch of other color on one knee; well-worn shoes. Bald gray wig and "side" whiskers. The costumes of the pupils are in keeping with those of the teacher.
THE VISION OF HENSEL
An Evening with the old Songs
The Old Songs of Childhood, Youth, Love, War and Home
Libretto by Ellan N. Wood
THE CHAPERON
A humorous Operetta in Three Acts
Libretto by Wm. Danforth Music by Geo. F. Rosche
THE SPINSTERS' CLUB
A Humorous Operetta in Two Acts
Libretto by Harriet D. Castle Music by Geo. F. Rosche
A returnable sample copy of any of the above mailed on receipt of 3 cents for postage; to be returned postpaid or paid for in ten days.
A New Tickler for your Funny Bone
"CUPID AND THE CHORISTER"
--or--
"Herr Lover's Dilemma"
Libretto by H. MacDONALD BARR Music by CARL F. PRICE
The most interesting, mirth-provoking entertainment which we have been privileged to see or hear in recent years.
It goes right to your funny bone with a new kind of tickle.
It provides a whole evening of the finest fun without for an instant suggesting the vulgar or commonplace. There is a laugh in every line of the libretto and a lilt to every brace of music which makes it irresistible. The spell cannot be broken by the fall of the curtain for the oft repeated strains of "Love is the way to spell Living" are sure to echo and re-echo long after the entertainment is over.
This entertainment is easily within the ability of the ordinary church choir with augmented chorus. Special costumes are needed by only three or four characters, the chorus being in ordinary dress. No elaborate stage setting is necessary, a neat platform with an adjoining room, or with a door, being the only requisites for its presentation. A piano should be on the platform.
CAST
THE STORY
The price is 75 cents per copy with a small license fee for privilege of public performance for profit, but we have a special proposition to offer for its first appearance in each city or town. If interested, write for particulars with prospectus.
NEW PLAYS
The School at Mud Hollow. A burlesque in two parts. 8 Males and 19 Females. Time about 2 hours. Price 35 cents.
Santa's Rescue
Two mysterious pieces of paper fall into the hands of the children, one being found by the BOYS and one by the GIRLS. The meaning of the inscription on each remains a mystery until it is discerned that by placing the papers together they have the message that the "Old Witch" of the North has captured "Santa" and holds him in an ice prison at the North Pole. Of course there could be no "Merry Christmas" without their "patron saint", so guided by the "Fairy Godmother" they start for the North Pole to rescue him. The "Old Witch" endeavors to block the rescuers' way by the assistance of "Old Zero" and the "Snow Fairies" but when they learn that the snow drifts they are piling up are to aid in keeping "Santa" from his usual Christmas activities they get the "Sunbeam Fairies" to come to their aid and melt the snow, while they bind with a frozen cord the "Old Witch," who is found indulging in a nap which she takes only once every hundred years. With the "Old Witch" powerless and in their control the Rescue of Santa is an easy matter.
Tho' belated somewhat by his enforced stay at the North Pole, the children are glad to become his "aides" in spreading a "Merry Christmas" through all the world. This is a very clever plot, well worked out, and will make a decided hit for the Christmas season. 4 Boys and 5 Girls with any number of Fairies. Time about 1 hour. Price 25 cents.
FARCES
Taking the Census. Mr. Cole, the Census Taker, has a funny experience in an attempt to gather the facts required by the government from Mrs. Almira Johnson, a "cullud lady," and her young son Alexander. Three characters only. Time about 10 minutes. Price 10 cents.
Answering the Phone. Mrs. Courtney and her daughter have a most trying experience with Nora Flanagan, the new "hired girl," who in their absence attempts to carry out the instructions given with special reference to "answering the phone." The final situation in which Nora makes a date with Miss Courtney's "intended" is ridiculous in the extreme. 3 females. Time about 15 minutes. Price 10 cents.
The Twins and How They Entertained the New Minister. They have a delightful time telling family secrets to the "New Minister," who has called for the first time. They explain the necessity of seeing their mother to find out from her if she is "In," for so often she is "Out" when she is "In" and "In" when she is "Out." 2 Males and 1 Female. Time about 15 minutes. Price 10 cents.
NO ENTERTAINMENTS SENT "ON EXAMINATION"
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