Read Ebook: The Visions of the Sleeping Bard by Wynne Ellis Davies Robert Gwyneddon Translator

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Ebook has 231 lines and 47556 words, and 5 pages

In the midst of this I could hear a terrible commotion towards the far end of the street, and a great crowd of people thronging the gate, and such pushing and quarelling as made me think that there was a general riot afoot, until I asked my friend what was the matter. "There is very valuable treasure in that tower," said the Angel, "and the reason for this tumult is that they are about to choose a treasurer for the Princess, instead of the Pope, who has been driven from office." So we went to see the election.

The candidates for the post were the stewards, the money-lenders, the lawyers, and the merchants, and it was the wealthiest of these that was to have it . The stewards were rejected at the outset, lest they might impoverish the whole street and, just as they had erected their mansions upon their masters' ruins, in the end dispossess the princess herself. The contest then lay between the other three. The merchants had more silk, the lawyers more mortgages on land, and the money-lenders more bills and bonds and fuller purses. "Ho, they won't agree this night," said the Angel, "come away; the lawyers are richer than the merchants, the money-lenders than the lawyers, the stewards than the money-lenders, and Belial richer than all; for they and all that belongs to them are his." "Why does the princess keep these robbers about her?" "What more befitting, seeing that she herself is arch-robber?" I was amazed to hear him call the princess by such name, and the proudest gentry in the land arrant robbers. "Why, pray my lord," said I, "do you consider these great noblemen worse thieves than highwaymen?" "Thou art a simpleton--think on that knave who roves the wide world over, sword in hand, and with his ravagers at his back, slaying and burning, and depriving the true possessors of their states, and afterwards expecting to be worshipped as conqueror; is he not worse than the petty thief who takes a purse on the highway? What is a tailor who filches a piece of cloth compared to a squire who steals from the mountain-side half a parish? Ought the latter not be called a worse robber than the former, who only takes a shred from him, while he deprives the poor of pasture for his beast, and consequently of the means of livelihood for himself, and those depending upon him? What is the stealing a handful of flour in the mill compared with the storing up of a hundred bushels to rot, in order to obtain later on for one bushel the price of four? What is a threadbare soldier who robs thee of thy clothes at the swords' point when compared with the lawyer who despoils thee of thy whole estate with the stroke of a quill, and against whom thou canst claim no recompense or remedy? What is a pickpocket who steals a five- pound in comparison to a dice-sharper who robs thee of a hundred pounds in the third part of a night? And what the swindler that deceives thee in a worthless old hack compared with the apothecary who swindles thee of thy money and life too, for some effete, medicinal stuff? And moreover, what are all these robbers compared with that great arch-robber who deprives them all of everything, yea, of their hearts and souls after the fair is over?"

From this foul and disorderly street we proceeded to the street of the Princess of Pleasure wherein I saw many English, French, Italians and Paynims. The Princess is very fair to behold, with mixed wine in one hand, and a fiddle and a harp in the other; and in her treasury, innumerable pleasures and toys to gain the custom of everybody, and retain them in her father's service. Yea, many were wont to escape to this pleasant street to drown their grief for losses and debts they had incurred in the others. It was exceedingly crowded, especially with young people; whilst the Princess is careful to please everyone, and to have an arrow ready for every mark. If thou art thirsty, here thou will find thy favorite beverage; if thou lovest song and dance, here thou shalt have thy fill. If the beauty of the Princess has kindled thy lust, thou need'st but beckon one of her sire's officers and they will immediately attend thy behest. There are here fair mansions, fine gardens, full orchards, shady groves fit for every secret intrigue, or to trap birds or a white rabbit or twain; clear streams, most pleasant to fish in; rich, boundless plains, whereon to hunt the hare and fox. Along the street we could see them playing interludes, juggling and conjuring, singing lewd songs to the sound of the harp and ballads, and all manner of jesting. Men and women of handsome appearance danced and sang, and many came hither from the Street of Pride in order to be praised and worshipped. Within the houses we perceived some on silken beds wallowing in debauchery; some at the gaming-table, cursing and swearing, others tossing dice and shuffling cards. Some from the Street of Lucre, having a room here, ran hither to count their money, but stayed not long lest aught of the countless geegaws that are here should entice them to part with their money without interest. Others I saw at tables feasting with somewhat of every created thing before them; and when everyone, mess after mess, had guzzled as much of the dainties as would afford a moderate man a feast for a whole week, grace followed in the form of blasphemous howling; then the king's health was called for, and that of every boon companion, and so on to quench the taste of the viands, and drown their cares. Then came tobacco, and then each one began to talk scandal of his neighbour-- whether true or false it mattered not as long as it was humorous or fresh, or, best of all, degrading. At last, what with a round of blasphemy, and the whole crowd with clay pistols belching smoke and fire and slander of their neighbours, and the floor already befouled with dregs and spittle, I feared lest viler deeds should happen, and craved to depart.

"Where can ye find such thirsty seven, "Search every clime and land? "And quaffing off the ruddy ale, "Bard and parson lead the band."

Upon leaving these we had a glimpse of cells where fouler deeds were being done than modesty permits to mention, and which caused my companion to snatch me away in anger from this fatuous court into the princess' treasury . There we saw myriads of fair women, all kinds of beverages, fruits and dainties, stringed instruments and books of songs,--harps, pipes, odes and carols, all sorts of games,--backgammon, dice and cards; pictures of various lands, towns and persons, inventions and amusing tricks; all kinds of waters, perfumes, pigments and spots to make the ugly fair, and the old look young, and the leman's malodorous bones smell sweet for the nonce. In short, the shadow of pleasure and the guise of happiness in every conceivable form was to be found there; and sooth to say, I almost think I too had been enticed by the place had not my friend instantly hurried me away far from the three alluring towers to the top end of the streets, and set me down near an immense palatial castle, the front view of which seemed fair, but the further side was mean and terribly ugly, though it was scarcely to be seen at all. It had a myriad portals--all splendid without but rotten within. "An't please you, my lord," asked I, "what is this wondrous place?" "This is the court of Belials' second daughter whose name is Hypocrisy; here she keeps her school, and there is no man or woman throughout the whole city who has not been a pupil of hers, and most of them have imbibed their learning remarkably well; so that her lessons are discernible as a second nature intertwined with all their thoughts, words, and deeds from very childhood almost." I had been looking awhile on the falsity of every part of the edifice when a funeral came by with many weeping and sighing, and many men and horses in mourning trappings; and shortly the poor widow, veiled so as not to see this cruel world any more, came along with piping voice and weary sighs, and fainting fits at intervals. In truth, I could not help but weep a little out of pity for her. "Nay, nay," said the Angel, "keep thy tears for a more worthy occasion; these voices are only what Hypocrisy has taught, and these mourning weeds were fashioned in her great school. Not one of these weep sincerely; the widow, even before the body had left the house, let in another husband to her heart; were she rid of the expenses connected with the corpse she would not care a straw if his soul were at the bottom of hell; nor do his own kindred care any more than she: for when it went hardest with him, instead of giving him good counsel and earnestly praying for mercy upon him, they were talking of his property, his will or his pedigree; or what a handsome robust man he was, and such talk; and now this wailing on the part of some is for mere ceremony and custom, on the part of others for company's sake or for pay."

At the word he transported me up to where the churches of the City of Destruction were; for everyone therein, even the unbelieving, has a semblance of religion. And it was to the temple of the unbelievers that we first came, and there I saw some worshipping a human form, others the sun, the moon and a countless other like gods down to onions and garlic; and a great goddess called Deceit was universally worshipped. However, there were some traces of the influence of Christianity to be found in most of these religions. Thence we came to a congregation of mutes, where there was nothing but sighing and quaking and beating the breast. "Here," said the Angel, "is the appearance of great repentance and humility, but which in reality is perversity, stubbornness, pride and utter darkness; although they talk much about the light within, they have not even the spectacles of nature which the heathen thou erstwhile saw, possess."

From these dumb dogs we chanced to turn into an immense, roofless church, with thousands of shoes lying at the porch, whereby I learnt it was a Turkish mosque. These had but very dark and misty spectacles called the Koran; yet through these they gazed intently from the summit of their church for their prophet, who falsely promised to return and visit them long ago, but has left his promise unfulfilled.

From thence we entered the Jewish synagogue--these too were unable to flee from the City of Destruction, although they had grey-tinted spectacles, for when they look a film comes over their eyes from want of anointing them with that precious ointment--faith.

Next we came to the Papists. "Here is the church that beguiles the nations," exclaimed the Angel, "it was Hypocrisy that built this church at her own cost. For the Papists encourage, yea, command men to break an oath with a heretic even though sworn on the sacraments." From the chancel we went through the keyholes, up to the top of a certain cell which was full of candles, though it was broad daylight, and where we could see a tonsured priest walking about as if expecting someone to come to him; and ere long there comes a buxom matron, with a fair maid in her wake, bending their knees before him to confess their sins. "My spiritual father," said the good wife, "I have a burthen too heavy to bear unless I obtain your mercy to lighten it: I married a member of the Church of England!" "What!" cried the shorn-pate, "married a heretic! wedded to an enemy? forgiveness can never be obtained!" At these words she fainted, while he kept calling down imprecations upon her head. "Woe's me, and what is worse," cried she when come to herself, "I killed him!" "Oh ho! thou hast killed him? Well, that's something towards gaining the reconciliation of the Church; I tell thee now, hadst thou not slain him, thou wouldst never have obtained absolution nor purgatory, but a straight gate and a leaden weight to the devil. But where's your offering, you jade?" he demanded with a snarl. "Here," said she, handing him a considerable bag of money. "Well," said he, "now I'll make your reconciliation: your penance is to remain always a widow lest you should make another bad bargain." When she was gone, the maiden also came forward to make her confession. "Your pardon, father confessor," cried she, "I conceived a child and slew it." "A fair deed, i'faith," said the confessor, "and who might the father be?" "Indeed 'twas one of your monks." "Hush, hush," he cried, "speak no ill of churchmen. What satisfaction have you for the Church?" "Here it is," said she and handed him a gold trinket. "You must repent, and your penance will be to watch at my bedside to-night," he said with a leer. Hereupon four other shavelings entered, dragging before the confessor a poor wretch, who came about as willingly as he would to the gallows. "Here's for you a rogue," cried one of the four, "who must do penance for disclosing the secrets of the Catholic Church." "What!" exclaimed the confessor, looking towards a dark cell near at hand: "but come, villain, confess what thou hast said?" "Indeed," began the poor fellow, "a neighbour asked me whether I had seen the souls that were groaning underneath the altar on All-souls' day; and I said I had heard the voice, but had seen nothing." "So, sirrah, come now, tell everything." "I said moreover," he continued, "that I had heard that you were playing tricks on us unlettered hinds, that, instead of souls, there was nothing but crabs making a row under the carpet." "Oh, thou hell-hound! cursed knave!" cried the confessor, "but, proceed, mastiff." "And that it was a wire that turned the image of St. Peter, and that it was along a wire the Holy Ghost descended from the roodloft upon the priest." "Thou heir of hell!" cried the shriver, "Ho there, torturers, take him and cast him into that smoky chimney for tale-bearing." "Well, this is the church Hypocrisy insists upon calling the Catholic Church, and she avers that these only are saved," said the Angel; "they once had the proper spectacles, but they cut the glass into a thousand forms; they once had true faith, but they mixed that salve with substances of their own, so that they see no better than the unbelieving."

Leaving the cell we came to a barn where someone was delivering a mock sermon extempore, sometimes repeating the same thing thrice in succession. "These," said the Angel, "have the right sort of spectacles to see 'the things which belong unto their peace,' but there is wanting in their ointment one of the most necessary ingredients, namely, perfect love. People come hither for various reasons; some out of respect to their elders, some from ignorance, and many for worldly gain. One would think, looking at their faces, that they are on the point of choking, but they will swallow frogs sooner than starve; for so does Princess Hypocrisy teach those meeting in barns.

"Pray tell," said I, "where may the Church of England be?" "Oh, it is yonder in the upper city, forming a large part of the Catholic Church, but there are in this city a few probationary churches belonging to the Church of England, where the Welsh and English stay for a time on probation, so that they may become fit to have their names enrolled as members of the Catholic Church, and ever blessed be he who shall have his name so enrolled. Yet, more's the pity, there are but few who befit themselves for its citizenship. For too many, instead of looking thitherwards, allow themselves to be blinded by the three princesses down below; Hypocrisy too, keeps many with one eye on the upper city and the other on the lower; yea, Hypocrisy is clever enough to beguile many who have withstood the other enchantresses. Enter here, and thou shalt see more," he said, and snatched me up into the roodloft in one of the Welsh churches, when the people were at service; there we saw some busily whispering, some laughing, some staring at pretty women, others prying their neighbour's dress from top to toe; others, in eagerness for the position due to their rank, keep shoving forward and showing their teeth at one another, others dozing, others assiduous at their devotions, and many of these too, dissimulating. "Thou hast not yet seen, nay, not even among infidels shamelessness so barefaced and public as this," said the Angel, "but so it is, I am sorry to say, there is no worse corruption than the corruption of the best." Then they went to communion, and everybody appeared fairly reverent before the altar; yet through my friend's glass I could see one taking unto himself with the bread the form of a mastiff, another, that of a mole, another, that of an eagle, a pig or a winged serpent, and a few, ah, how few, received a ray of bright light with the bread and wine. "There," he pointed out, "is a Roundhead, who is going to be sheriff, and because the law calls upon a man to receive the sacrament in the Church before taking office he has come here rather than lose it, and although there are some here who rejoice on seeing him, we have felt no joy at his conversion, because he has only become converted for the occasion. Thus thou perceivest that Hypocrisy, with exceeding boldness, approaches the altar in the presence of the God that cannot be deceived. But though she wields great power in the City of Destruction, she is of no avail in the City of Emmanuel beyond those ramparts."

Upon that we turned our faces from the great City of Destruction and ascended towards the other city, which was considerably less; and on our way we met several at the upper end of the streets who had made a move as of turning away from the temptations of the gates of Destruction, and making for the gate of life. But they either failed to find it or grew weary on the way; very few went through--one man of rueful countenance, ran in earnest while crowds on all sides derided him, some mocking, some threatening him, and his kindred clinging to him, begging him not to condemn himself to lose the whole world at one stroke. "I lose but a small portion of it, and were I to lose all, what loss, I pray you, would it be? For what is there in the world to be desired, unless it be deceit, oppression and squalor, wickedness, folly and madness? Contentment and rest is man's supreme happiness--this is not to be found in your city. For who of you is content? 'Higher, higher,' is the aim of all in the Street of Pride, 'More, more' cry all that dwell in the Street of Lucre, 'Sweet, sweet, yet more' is the voice of everybody in the Street of Pleasure. And as for rest, where is it, and who hath obtained it? If a man is of high degree, adulation and envy almost kill him; if poor, everybody is ready to trample and despise him. If one would prosper, he must set his mind upon being an intriguer; if one would gain respect, let him be a boaster or braggart; if one would be godly, and attend church and approach the altar, he is dubbed a hypocrite, if he abstain from doing so, he becomes at once an antichrist or a heretic; if he is light-hearted, he is called a scoffer, if silent, a morose cur; if he practises honesty, he is but a good-for-nothing fool; if well dressed, he is proud, if not, he is a pig; if gentle of speech, he is double-faced and a rogue, whom none can fathom; if rough, he is an arrogant and froward devil. This is the world you make so much of, and pray you take my share of it and welcome," and at the word he shook himself free of them all, and away he sped boldly to the narrow gate, and spite of all, pushing onwards he entered, and we too at his heels. Upon the battlements on either side of the gate were many men dressed in black, encouraging the man and applauding him. "Who are those in black up yonder?" I asked. "They are the watchmen of King Emmanuel," answered he, "who in their sovereign's name invite men hither and help them through the gate."

Just then, behold a troop of people from the Street of Pride, knocking boldly enough at the gate; but they were all so stiff-necked that they could never enter a place so low without soiling their periwigs and horns, so they sulkily retraced their steps. In their wake there came up a group from the Street of Lucre: "And is this the Gate of Life?" asked one; "Yea," said the watchman overhead. "What must be done to enter?" he enquired. "Read what is inscribed above the doorway and ye shall know." The miser read the Ten Commandments through: "Who will say that I have broken one of these?" he exclaimed. But when he looked up, and saw the words, "Love not the world, nor the things that are in the world," he was amazed, and could not swallow that hard saying. There was one, green- eyed and envious, who turned back when he read: "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." There was a gossip and a slanderer who became dazed on reading: "Thou shalt not bear false witness." When he read, "Thou shalt not kill," "This is not the place for me" quoth the physician. In short, everybody saw something which troubled him, and so they all returned together to consider the matter. I saw no one yet come back who had conned his lesson; they had so many bags and scripts tightly bound to them, that they could never have got through such a narrow needle's eye, even if they had tried to. After that a drove from the Street of Pleasure walked up to the gate. "Where, pray, does this road lead to?" asked one of the watchmen. "This," answered he, "is the way that leads to eternal joy and happiness." Whereupon all strove to enter, but failed, for some were too stout to pass through such a strait opening; others too weak to struggle, being enfeebled through debauchery. "Oh, ye must not attempt to take your baubles with you," said the watchman, observing them; "ye must leave behind your pots and dishes, your minions, and all other things, and then hasten on." "How shall we live?" asked the fiddler, who would have been through long since but that he feared to smash his fiddle. "Ye must trust the king's promise to send after you as many of these things as will do you good," said the watchman. This made them all prick their ears, "Oh, oh!" said one, "a bird in hand is worth two in the bush," and at that they with one accord turned back.

"Prithee, my lord," said I, "may we approach so as to obtain a better view of this magnificent royal court . "Oh yes, easily," answered the Angel, "for therein is my place, my duty and my work." The nearer I came thereto the more I wondered at the height, strength, splendour, grandeur, and beauty of its every part, how skilful the work was, and how apt the materials. Its base was an enormous rock wondrously fashioned, and of strength impregnable; upon it were living stones, laid and joined in such perfect order that no stone could possibly appear finer elsewhere than in its own place. One part of the church projected in the form of a wonderfully handsome cross, and the Angel saw me looking at it, and said, "Dost thou recognise that part?" I knew not what to answer. "That is the Church of England," he said. I was somewhat startled, and looking up beheld Queen Anne on the church-top enthroned, with a sword in each hand- -the one in the left called "Justice," to defend her subjects against the inhabitants of the City of Destruction, the one in the right, to preserve them from Belial and his spiritual evils, and this was called "the sword of the Spirit," or the Word of God. Beneath the left sword lay the statute book of England, and beneath the other, a big Bible. The sword of the Spirit was fiery, and of immense length, and would kill further away than the other would touch. I could see the other princes with like arms defending their part of the church, but I deemed mine own queen fairest of all, and her arms the brightest. At her right hand I observed throngs clad in black--archbishops, bishops, and learned men upholding with her the sword of the Spirit, while soldiers and officials, with a few lawyers, supported the other sword. I was allowed to rest awhile, by one of the magnificent doors where people came in to obtain membership in the Universal Church, and whereat a tall angel was doorkeeper. The interior of the church was lit up so brilliantly that Hypocrisy dared not show her face therein, and though sometimes she appeared at the threshold she never entered. Just as I saw, in the space of a quarter of an hour, a Papist, who thought that the Catholic Church belonged to the Pope, came and claimed its freedom. "What have you to prove your right?" demanded the porter. "I have plenty of the traditions of the fathers, and of councils of the church," he answered, "but what need I more certain than the word of the Pope, who sits in the infallible chair?" Then the doorkeeper opened a huge Bible--a load in itself; "This," said he, "is our only statute book--prove your right from this or go." And he straightway departed.

Then came a flock of Quakers, who wished to enter with their hats on, but were turned away for being so ill-mannered. After them some of the barn- folk, who had been there only a short while, began to speak: "We have the same statute book as ye have," they averred, "and therefore show us our privileged place." "Stay," said the bright porter, steadfastly gazing on their foreheads, "I will show you something: see yon mark of the rent ye made in the church when leaving it without cause or reason? And would ye now have a place therein? Get ye back to the narrow gate, and wash thoroughly in the well of repentance, to see if ye will reach some of the royal blood ye erstwhile drank and bring some of the water of that well to moisten the clay, so as to make up yonder rent and then ye are welcome."

Before we had gone a rood westward I heard a noise coming from above, from among the princes, and everybody, great and small, was taking up arms and donning his armour as if for war, and ere I had time to cast about me for a refuge, the whole sky became black, and the city darker than when an eclipse befalls; the thunder roared, the lightning flashed to and fro, and ceaseless showers of deadly shafts were directed from the lower gates against the Catholic Church, and had there not been in each man's hand a shield to receive the fiery darts, and had the foundation rock not been so strong that nothing could ever harm it, we all would have become one burning mass. But alack, this was but a prologue or foretaste of what was to follow; for suddenly the darkness became sevenfold more intense, and Belial himself advanced in the densest cloud, and around him his chief officers both earthly and infernal, ready to receive and accomplish his behest at their several posts. He had entrusted the Pope and his other son of France with the destruction of the Church of England and its queen; the Turks and Muscovites were to strike at the other sections of the Church, and slay the people, and especially the queen and the other princes, and above all to burn the Bible. The first thing the queen and the other saints did was to bend the knee and tell of their wrongs to the King of Kings in these words: "The stretching out of his wings shall fill the breadth of thy land, oh Emmanuel." And immediately a voice replied: "Resist the devil and he will flee from you." And then commenced the greatest and most terrible conflict that ever took place on earth. When the sword of the Spirit began to be whirled round, Belial and his infernal hosts began to retreat; then the Pope began to waver, while the King of France still held out, though he too was almost giving up heart, seeing the queen and her subjects so united, while he himself was losing ships and men on the one hand, and on the other many of his subjects were in open revolt; and the onslaught of the Turk also was becoming less fierce. Just then, woe's me, I saw my beloved companion shooting away from me into the welkin to join a myriad other bright princes. Thereupon the Pope and the other earthly commanders began to slink off and become prostrate through fear, and the infernal princes to fall by the thousands. The noise of each one falling seemed to me as if a great mountain fell into the depths of the sea, and between this noise and the agitation on losing my friend, I awoke from sleep, and returned to this oppressive sod, most unwillingly, so pleasant and enjoyable it was to be a free spirit, and above all to be in such company, notwithstanding the great danger I was in. Now I had no one to comfort me save the Muse, and she was rather moody--scarcely could I get her to bray out these lines that follow:-

Behold this wondrous edifice, Both heaven and earth comprising, The universe and all that is At God's command arising - This world, with ramparts wide from pole to pole, Down from its starry, brilliant dome, E'en to the depths where angry billows roll, And beasts that through the forest roam - All things that sea and sky afford, Thy faithful subjects eke to be; A lesser heaven, a home for thee Oh! man, creation's lord.

Behold oh, man! this glorious place In the empyrean hovering While all is but a treach'rous face Foul swamps and quagmires covering. Thy sin, that whelmed this earth in days of yore, Shall draw upon it quenchless fire With flaming torrents wildly rushing o'er - A prey to conflagration dire; If thou wouldst 'scape this dreadful fate, I pray thee counsel take from me, To Mercy's city straightway flee For life within its gate.

Behold that city's peerless might Withstanding all oppression - Then flee thereto in thy sad plight, Be free from sin's possession. Behold thy refuge in this dreary land Where all may find true, peaceful rest, A rock, impregnable on every hand, Where perfect love reigns ever blest; We sinful men, the way must search, And there in faith for pardon pray, And live a blissful, tranquil day Within the Holy Church.

One long, cold, and dark winter's night, when one-eye'd Phoebus well nigh had reached his utmost limit in the south and, from afar, lowered upon Great Britain and all the Northern land, and when it was much warmer in the kitchen of Glyn Cywarch than at the top of Cader Idris, and better in a cosy room with a warm bedfellow than in a shroud in the lychgate, I was meditating upon a talk I had had by the fireside with a neighbour concerning the brevity of human life, and how certain it was that death would come to all, and yet how uncertain its coming. Thus engaged, I had just lain down, and was half-asleep, when I felt a heavy weight stealthily creeping over me, from head to heel, so that I could not move a finger--my tongue only was unbound. I perceived, methought, a man upon my chest, and above him, a woman. After eyeing him carefully I recognised by his strong odours, dewy locks and blear eyes, that the man was no other than my good Master Sleep. "I pray you, sir," cried I, squeaking, "what have I done to you that you bring that witch here to torment me?" "Hush," said he, "it is only my sister Nightmare; we twain are going to pay our brother Death a visit, and want a third to accompany us, and lest thou shouldst resist we came upon thee, just as he does, unawares. Consequently come thou must, willy-nilly." "Alas," I cried, "must I die?" "Nay," said Nightmare, "we will spare thee this time." "But an't please you," said I, "your brother Death has never spared anyone yet who came beneath his stroke--he who wrestled with the Lord of Life himself, though it was little he gained by that contest." Nightmare, at that word, rose up angrily and departed. "Come along," cried Sleep, "thou wilt never repent of thy journey." "Well," said I, "may there never be night in Sleepton, and may Nightmare never have rest save on an awl's point if ye bring me not back where ye found me."

But before I had time to notice any more of these innumerable doors, I heard a voice bidding me by name to be dissolved, and at the word I felt myself beginning to melt like a snowball in the heat of the sun; then my master gave me a sleeping draught, so that I slumbered; and when I awoke, he had taken me by some road or other far away on the other side of the castle. I perceived myself in a pitch-dark vale of infinite radius, methought, and shortly, I saw by a few bluish lights, like the flickering flame of a candle, countless, ah! countless shades of men, some afoot and some on horseback, rushing back and fro like the wind, in awful silence and solemnity; the land was barren, bleak and blasted, without either grass or hay, trees or animals, save deadly beasts and poisonous vermin of every kind--serpents, snakes, lice, frogs, worms, locusts, gids and all such that exist on man's corruption. Through a myriad shades and reptiles, graves, churchyards and tombs, we made our way to view the land unmolested, until I happened to see some turning round and looking at me; in an instant, notwithstanding the prevailing silence, a whisper passed from one to another that there was a man from earth there. "A man from earth!" cried one, "a man from earth," exclaimed another, while they crowded round me, like caterpillars, from every quarter. "Which way came you, sirrah?" asked a morkin of a death-imp. "Indeed, sir," said I, "I know not any more than you do." "What is your name?" he asked. "Call me here in your own country what ye will, but at home I am called the Sleeping Bard."

At that word I could see an ancient mannikin, bent double, head to feet, like a bramble, straightening himself, and looking at me more malignantly than the red devil, and without a word he hurled a big skull at my head, but, thanks to a sheltering tombstone, missed me. "Truce, sir, I pray you," cried I, "to a stranger who was never here before, and will never come again, could I but once find the way home." "I'll make you remember you've been here," quoth he, and, again setting upon me with a thighbone, he beat me most unmercifully, while I dodged about as best as I could. "Ho ho!" I cried, "this country is very unmannerly towards strangers; is there no justice of the peace here?" "Peace, indeed," said he, "thou, surely, hast no right to sue for peace, who disturbest the dead in their graves." "Pray, sir, might I know your name, for I wot not that I have ever molested anyone from this country?" "Sirrah!" cried he, "know then that I, and not you, am the Sleeping Bard, and have been left in peace these nine centuries by all but you," and again he set upon me. "Withhold, brother," said Merlin who stood near, "be not too hasty; thank him rather for that he hath kept your name in respected memory on earth." "In great respect, forsooth," quoth he, "by such a blockhead as this. Are you, sirrah, versed in the four and twenty metres? Can you trace the line of Gog and Magog and of Brutus son of Silvius down to a century before the destruction of Troy? Can you prophesy when, and how the wars between the lion and the eagle, and between the stag and the red deer will end? Can you?" "Ho there! let me ask him a question," said another who stood by a huge seething cauldron, "draw near, and tell me the meaning of this:-

"Upon the face of earth I'll be "Until the judgment day, "And whether I be fish or flesh "No man can ever say."

"I would know your name, sir," said I, "so that I might the more befittingly give answer." "I am Taliesin, Chief of the Western Bards, and those are lines from my mystery-song." "I know not what your meaning may be, if it be not the yellow plague which destroyed Maelgwn Gwynedd, slew you upon the sea, and divided you between the ravens and fishes." "Tush, you fool," cried he, "I was foretelling of my two callings--as lawyer and poet--and which sayest thou now bears greatest resemblance, whether a lawyer to a raven, or a poet to a whale? How many will a single lawyer lay bare of flesh to swell his own paunch, and oh! so callously doth he shed blood and leave the man half dead! The poet, too, what fish can gulp as much as he? And though he hath always a sea round him, not all the ocean can quench his thirst. And when a man is both a poet and a lawyer, who can tell whether he is fish or flesh, and especially if he be a courtier as well, as I was, and had to change his taste with every mouth. But tell me, are there many of these folk now on earth?" "Yes, plenty," answered I, "if a man can patch together any sort of metre, straightway he becomes a chaired bard. And of the others, there is such a plague of barristers, petty lawyers, and clerks that the locusts of Egypt preyed less heavily on the country than they. In your time, sir, there were only roadside bargains and a hands-breadth of writing on the purchase of a hundred pound farm, and a cairn or an Arthur's quoit raised as a memorial of the purchase and boundaries. People have not the courage to do so nowadays, but more cunning, knavery, and written parchment, wide as a cromlech, is necessary to bind the bargain, and for all that it would be strange if no flaw existed or were contrived therein." "Well, well," said Taliesin, "I would not be worth a straw there, I may as well be here; truth will never be found where there are many bards, nor justice where many lawyers, until health be found where there be many doctors."

Upon this a grey-haired, writhled shrimp, who had heard of the presence of an earthly man, came and fell at my feet, weeping profusely. "Alack, poor fellow," cried I, "what art thou?" "One who suffers too much wrong on earth day by day," he replied, "and your soul must obtain me justice." "What is thy name?" I enquired. "I am called Someone," was the answer, "and there is no love-message, slander, lie, or tale to breed quarrels, but that I am blamed for most of them. 'In sooth,' said one, 'she is an excellent wench, and has spoken highly of you to Someone, although someone great was seeking her.' 'I heard Someone,' said another, 'reckoning a debt of nine hundred pounds on such and such an estate.' 'I saw Someone yesterday,' said the beggar, 'with a mottled neckerchief, like a sailor, who had come with a grain vessel to the next port;' and so every rag and tag mauls me to suit his own evil purpose. Some call me 'Friend.' 'A friend told me,' saith one, 'that so and so does not intend leaving a single farthing to his wife, and that there is no love lost between them.' Others further disgrace me and call me a crow: 'a crow tell me there is some trickery going on,' they say. Yea, some call me by a more honoured name--Old Man, and yet not a half of the omens, prophecies, and cures attributed to me are really mine. I never counselled walking the old way if the new were better, and I never intended forbidding men to church by saying: 'Frequent not the place where thou art most welcome,' and a hundred such. But Someone is the name generally given me, and most often heard of when anything uncommonly bad happens; for if you ask one where that scandalous lie was told and who told it. 'Indeed,' he will say, 'I know not, but Someone in the company said it,' and if you enquire of all the company concerning the story, all have heard it of Someone, but no one knows of whom. Is it not a shameful wrong?" he cried, "I beg of you to inform everybody who names me that I uttered nought of such things. I never invented or repeated a lie to disgrace anyone, nor a single tale to cause kinsmen to fly at each other's throats; I do not come near them; I know nothing of their scandal, or business, or accursed secrets--they must not charge me with their evils, but their own corrupt brains."

Hereupon a little Death, one of the King's secretaries, asked me my name, and bade Master Sleep carry me at once into the King's presence. I had to go, though most unwilling, by reason of the power that took me up like a whirlwind, 'twixt high and low, thousands of miles back on our left, till we came, a second time, in sight of the boundary wall, and in an enclosed corner we could see a vast palace, roofless and in ruins, extending to the wall wherein were the countless doors, all of which led to this terrible court. Its walls were built of human skulls with hideous, grinning teeth; the clay was black with mingled tears and sweat, the lime ruddy with gore. On the summit of each tower stood a Deathling, with a quivering heart on the point of his shaft. Around the court were a few trees--a poisonous yew or twain, or a deadly cypress, and in these owls, ravens, vampires and the like, make their nests, and cry unceasingly for flesh, although the whole place is but one vast, putrid shamble. The pillars of the hall were made of thighbones, and those of the parlour of shinbones, while the floors were formed of layer upon layer of all manner of charnel.

I had not to wait a longwhile ere I came in view of a tremendous altar, where we could see the King of Terrors devouring human flesh and blood, while a thousand impish deaths, from every hole, were continually feeding him with warm, fresh meat. "Here is a rogue," said the Death that led me thither, "whom I found in the midst of the land of Oblivion, having approached so light-footed that your majesty never tasted a bite of him," "How can that be?" demanded the king, opening his jaws, wide as a chasm, to swallow me. Whereupon I turned trembling to Sleep. "It was I who brought him hither," said he. "Well then, for my brother Sleep's sake," said the awful and lanky monarch, "you can retrace your steps for the nonce; but beware of me the next time." Having been for some time cramming his gluttonous maw with carrion, he caused his subjects to be called together, and moved from the altar to a very lofty and dreadful throne, to adjudge newly-arrived prisoners. In an instant, lo! the dead in countless multitudes paid homage to the king, and took their places in wonderful array. King Death was in his regal robe of brilliant scarlet, whereon depicted were wives and children weeping and husbands sighing; on his head a dark-red, three-cornered cap, a gift his cousin Lucifer had sent him, on the corners of which were written Grief, Sorrow, and Woe. Above his head were a myriad pictures of battles on land and sea, of towns aflame, of the earth yawning, and of the waters of the deluge; the ground beneath his feet was nought else than the crowns and sceptres of all the kings he had ever conquered. At his right hand sat Fate with a morose and scowling visage, reading an enormous tome that lay before him; at his left, was an old man called Time, warping innumerable threads of gold, silver, copper, and many of iron--some threads were growing better towards the end, a myriad worse; along the threads were marked hours, days and years, and Fate, at his book, cut the thread of life and opened the doors in the boundary wall between the two worlds.

I had not been looking about me long, when I heard four fiddlers, just dead, summoned to the bar. "How is it," asked the King of Terrors, "that ye, who are so found of joy, did not stay on yonder side of the chasm? For on this side joy never existed." "We have done no man ever any hurt," said one of the minstrels, "but on the contrary have made them merry, and quietly took whatever was given us for our pains." "Have ye caused no one," said Death, "to lose time from his work, or to absent himself from church, eh?" "No," replied another, "unless we were some Sundays after service in an inn till the morrow, or in summer time on the village green, and indeed we had a better and more beloved congregation than the parson." "Away, with them to the land of Oblivion," cried the terrible king, "bind the four, back to back, and pitch them to their partners, to dance barefoot on glowing hearths, and scrape their fiddles for ever without praise or pay."

The next to come to the bar was a king from near Rome. "Raise thy hand, caitiff," bade one of the officers. "I hope," said he, "ye have somewhat better manners and favor for a king." "Sirrah, you too," said Death, "ought to have kept on the other side of the gulf where everybody is king; but know that, on this side, there are none besides myself and another, who dwelleth down below, and you shall see that that king and myself will set no value upon the degree of your greatness, but rather upon the degree of your wickedness, and so make your punishment proportionate to your crimes; therefore give answer to the questions." "Sir, allow me to tell you that you have no authority to arrest and examine me," said he, "I hold a pardon under the Pope's own hand for all my sins. Because I served him faithfully, he gave me a dispensation to go straight to Paradise, without a moment's stay in Purgatory." At that the king, and all the lean jaws, gave a dismal grin in imitation of laughter, and the other, angered at their laughing, ordered them to show him the way. "Silence, lost fool!" cried Death, "Purgatory lies behind thee, on the other side of the wall, for it was in life thou hadst ought to have purified thyself, and Paradise is on the right, beyond that chasm. Now there is no way of escape for thee, neither across this abyss to Paradise, nor through the boundary wall back to earth; for wert thou to give thy kingdom--though thou hast not a ha'penny to give--the warder of those doors would not let thee look once, even through the keyhole. This is called the irremeable wall, for once it is passed there is no hope of return. But since you are so high in the Pope's favor, you shall go and get his bed ready with his predecessor, and there you may kiss his toe for ever, and he, the toe of Lucifer." At the word, four death-imps raised him up, now trembling like an aspen leaf, and snatched him away out of sight, with the speed of lightning.

Next to them came seven recorders, who, on being bidden to raise their hands to the bar, pretended not to hear the command, for their palms were so thickly greased. One of them, bolder than the rest, began to argue, "We ought to have had fair citation, in order to prepare our reply, instead of being attacked unawares." "Oh, we are not bound to give you any particular notice," said Death, "because ye have, everywhere, and everywhile throughout your lives, warning of my advent. How many sermons on the mortality of man have ye heard? How many books, how many graves, knells and fevers, how many messages and signs, have ye seen? What is your Sleep but my brother? Your heads but my image? Your daily food but dead creatures? Seek not to lay the blame of your ill hap on my shoulders--ye would not hear of the summons, although ye had it an hundred times." "Pray what have you against us?" asked one ruddy recorder. "What indeed?" exclaimed Death, "the drinking the sweat and blood of the poor, and the doubling your fees." "Here is an honest man," he said, pointing to a wrangler behind them, "who knows I never did aught but what was fair, and it is not fair in you to detain us here, seeing you have no specific charge to prove against us." "Ha, ha!" cried Death, "ye shall bring proof against yourselves; place them on the verge of the precipice before the throne of Justice; there they will obtain justice, though they practised it not."

There were yet seven other prisoners, who kept up such commotion and clamour--some blandishing, gnashing the teeth and uttering threats, others giving advice and so on. Scarcely had they been summoned to the bar than the whole court darkened sevenfold more hideously than before, a murmuring and great confusion arose around the throne, and Death became more livid than ever. Upon enquiry it seemed that one of Lucifer's envoys had arrived, bearing a letter to Death, concerning these seven prisoners; and shortly, Fate called for silence to read the letter which, as far as I can recollect, was as follows:-

"LUCIFER, King of the Kings of Earth, Prince of Perdition and Archruler of the Deep, To our natural son, mightiest and most terrible King Death, greeting, wishing you supremacy and booty without end:

"Whereas some of our swift messengers, who are always out espying, have informed us that there lately came into your royal court seven prisoners of the seven most worthless and dangerous species in the world, and that you are about to hurl them over the precipice into my realm: our advice is, that you endeavour, by every possible way, to let them return to the earth; there they will be more serviceable--to you, in the matter of food, to me, for supplying better company. We had too much trouble with their partners in days gone by, and our kingdom is, even now, unsettled. Wherefore, turn them back or retain them yourself; for, by the infernal crown, if thou cast them hither, I will undermine the foundations of thy kingdom, until it fall and become one with mine own great realm.

"From our Court, on the miry Swamp in the glowing Evildom, in the year of our reign, 5425."

King Death, his visage green and livid, stood for a time undecided. But while he was meditating, Fate turned upon him such a grim frown that he trembled. "Sire," said Fate, "consider well what you are about to do. I dare not allow anyone to repass the bounds of Eternity--the insurmountable ramparts, nor deign you harbour any here, wherefore, send them on to their doom, spite of the great Evil One. He has been able to array in a moment many a haul of a thousand or ten thousand souls, and allot each one his place, and what difficulty will he have with these seven now, however dangerous they may be? Whatever happen, even if they overturn the infernal government, send them thither instantly, lest I be commanded to crush thee to untimely nothingness. As for his menaces, they are false, and although thy doom, and that of yon ancient , are not many pages hence, yet, thou need have no fear of sinking down to Lucifer, for however glad everybody there would be to have thee, they never will; for the eternal rocks of steel and adamant, which roof Hell, are somewhat too firm to be shattered." Whereupon Death, in great agitation, called for someone to indite thus his reply:-

"DEATH, King of Terrors, Conqueror of Conquerors, To our most revered kinsman and neighbour, Lucifer, Monarch of the Endless Night, and Emperor of the Sheer Vortex, Salutation:

"After giving earnest thought to this your royal wish, it seemeth to us more advantageous, not only to our state, but also to your vast realm, that these prisoners be sent to the furthest point possible from the portals of the impervious wall, left their putrid odour should so terrify the entire City pf Destruction that no one would ever enter Eternity from that side of the gulf, and I, in consequence, would be unable to cool my sting, and you should have no commerce betwixt earth and hell. But I leave you to judge them, and to cast them into the cells you deem most secure and befitting.

"From our Lower Court in the Great Tollgate of Destruction: from the year of the restoration of my Kingdom, 1670."

After hearing all this, I was itching to know what manner of folk these seven might be, seeing that the devils themselves feared them so much. But ere long, the Clerk to the Crown calls them by name, as follows: "Mister Busybody, alias Finger-in-every-pie." This fellow was so fussily and busily directing the others, that he had no leisure to answer to his name until Death threatened to sunder him with his dart. Then, "Mr. Slanderer, alias Foe-of-Good-Fame," was called, but no response came. "He is rather bashful to hear his titles," said the third, "he can't abide the nicknames." "Have you no titles, I wonder?" asked the Slanderer, "call Mr. Honey-tongued Swaggerer, alias Smoothgulp, alias Venomsmile." "Here," cried a woman, who was standing near, pointing to the Swaggerer. "Ha, Madam Huntress!" cried he, "your humble servant; I am glad to see you well, I never saw a more beautiful woman in breeches, but woe's me to think how pitiable is the country, having lost in you such an unrivalled ruler; and yet, your pleasant company will make hell itself somewhat better." "Oh, thou scion of evil," cried she, "no one need a worse hell than to be with thee--thou art enough." Then the crier called, "Huntress, alias Mistress o' the Breeches." "Here," answered someone else, she herself not saying a word because they did not "madam" her. Next was called the Schemer, alias Jack-of-all-Trades. But he, too, failed to answer, for he was assiduously plotting to escape the Land of Despair. "Here, here," cried someone behind him, "here he is spying for a place to break out of your great court, and unless you be on your guard, he has a considerable plot against you." "Then," said the Schemer, "Let him also be called, to wit, The Accuser-of-his-Brethren, alias Faultfinder, alias Complaint-monger." "Here, here he is," cried the Litigious Wrangler--for each one knew the other's name, but none would acknowledge his own. "You are also called," said the Accuser, "Mr. Litigious Wrangler, alias Cumber-of-Courts." "Witness, witness, all of you, what names the knave has given me," cried the Wrangler. "Ha, ha, 'tis not according to the font, but according to the fault, that everybody is named in this land," said Death, "and with your permission, Mr. Wrangler, these names must stick to you for evermore." "Indeed," quoth the Wrangler, "by the devil, I'll make it hot for you; although you may put me to death, you have no right to nickname me. I shall enter a plaint for this and for false imprisonment, against you and your kinsman Lucifer, in the Court of Justice."

Through the huge, frightful chaos we at length broke forth to the left; and ere we had journey'd far therein where every object grew uglier and uglier, I felt my heart in my throat, and my hair erect like a hedgehog's bristles, even before perceiving anything; but what I did perceive was a sight no tongue can describe nor the mind of a mortal dwell upon. I fainted. Oh, that limitless abyss, so dire and terrible, opening out upon another world! How those awful flames crackled incessantly as they darted upwards above the banks of the accursed ravine, and the shafts of impetuous lightning rent the thick, black smoke which the yawning chasm belched forth! When my beloved companion awoke me, he gave me ambrosial water to drink, of most excellent flavor and color. After drinking this heavenly water I felt some wonderful power within me,--wit, courage, faith, and many other divine virtues. Thereupon I drew nigh with him unfearingly to the edge of the precipice, shrouded in the veil, whilst the flames parted asunder around us, and dared not touch denizens of the supernal regions. Then from the edge of that dread gulf, we let ourselves descend, like two stars falling from the canopy of heaven, down, down for myriad millions of miles, over many sulphurous rocks, and many a hideous cataract and fiery precipice, where all things bent downwards ever, with impending aspect; yet they all avoided us, except when once I poked my nose out of the veil, there struck me such a stifling and choking stench as would have ended me had he not saved me out of hand with the reviving water. When I had recovered, I could see that we were come to a halt, for in all that stupenduous chasm no sooner stay were possible, so sheer and slippery was it. There my Guide allowed me once more to rest; and during that respite it chanced that the thunder and the fierce whirlwinds were a little hushed, and above the roar of the foaming cataracts, I could hear from afar, louder than all, the noise of such awful shrieks, wails, cries, and loud groans, of swearing, cursing and blaspheming, that I would rather have set a bargain upon my ears than listen. And before we had moved an inch, we heard from above such hip-drip-drop that had we not straightway stepped aside, there would have fallen upon us hundreds of unhappy men whom a host of fiends were hurling headlong, and too hurriedly to a woful fate. "Ho, slowly sir!" quoth one sprite, "lest you displace your curly lock;" and to another "Madam, will you have your soft cushion? I fear me you will be much disordered before you reach your resting-place."

The strangers were most reluctant to advance, insisting that they were on the wrong road; still, onward they went, up to the bank of a wide, dark torrent, whilst we followed in their wake and crossed over with them, my companion, meanwhile, holding the water to my nostrils to protect me from the stench rising out of the river. When I beheld some of the inhabitants I asked: "What, pray, my Guide, is the name of this death-like stream?" "The river of the Evil One," answered he, "wherein all his subjects are immersed to render them accustomed to the country; its cursed waters changed their countenance, washing away every relic of goodness, every shadow of hope and happiness." And on seeing the horde pass through, I could perceive no difference in loathsomeness between the devils and the damned. Some wished to crouch at the bottom of the river, there to remain in suffocation to all eternity, rather than find further on a worse dwelling; but as the proverb says: "He whom the devil urges must run," so these damned beings, thrust on by the demons, were swiftly borne along the stream of destruction to their eternal ruin; where I too saw at the first glimpse more tortures and torments than man's heart can imagine, far less a tongue repeat; to see one of which was enough to cause one's hair to stand on an end, his blood to freeze, his flesh to melt, his bones to give way, yea and his spirit to swoon within him. Why speak I of such deeds as the impaling or sawing of men alive, the tearing of the flesh in pieces with iron pincers or the broiling of it, chop by chop, with candles, or the jambing of skulls as flat as a slate, in a press, and all the most frightful degradation the earth ever witnessed? All such are but pleasures compared with one of these. Here, a million shrieks, harsh groans and deep sighs; there, fierce lamentations and loud cries in answer: the howling of dogs were sweet, delightful music compared with these voices. Before we had gone far from the shores of that accursed river into wild Perdition, we could see by the light of their own fire, here and there, men and women without number, whom a countless host of devils unceasingly and with all their might kept always torturing; and as the devils were shrieking from the intensity of their own suffering, they made the damned give response to the utmost. I observed the part nearest me more minutely: there, the devils with pitchforks hurled them head foremost upon poisonous hatchels formed of terrible, barbed darts, thereon to struggle by their brains; then shortly, they threw them together, layer on layer, upon the summit of one of the burning crags, there to blaze like a bonfire. Thence they were snatched away up the ravines amidst the eternal ice and snow; then plunged again into an enormous flood of seething brimstone to be parched, stifled, and choked by the direful stench; thence to a quagmire of vermin, to embrace hellish reptiles far more noxious than serpents or vipers. After that the devils took knotted rods of fiery steel from the furnace, wherewith they beat them so that their howls resounded throughout all Hell, so inexpressibly excruciating was the pain, and then they seized hot irons to sear the bloody wounds. No swoon or trance is there to beguile with a moment's respite, but an unchanging strength to suffer and to feel; though one would have thought that after one awful wail there never could be the strength to raise another as weirdly-loud; yet never will their key be lowered, with the devils ever answering: "This is your welcome for aye." And worse, were it possible, than the pain, was the scorn and bitterness of the devils' mockery and derision, but worst of all, their own conscience was now thoroughly awakened, and devoured them more relentlessly than a thousand infernal lions.

Still down we go, down afar--the further we go the worse the plight; at the first view I saw a horrid prison wherein a great many men were uttering blasphemous groans beneath the scourges of the devils: "Who are all these?" asked I; "This," answered the Angel, "this is the abode of Woe-that-I-had-not." "Woe that I had not been cleansed of all manner of sin in good time," quoth one. "Woe is me that I had not believed and repented before my coming here," quoth another. Next to the cell of Too- late-a-repentance, and of Pleading-after-judgment, was the prison of the Procrastinators, who were always promising to mend their ways, but who never fulfilled the promise. "When this trouble is past," saith one, "I will turn over a new leaf." "When this hinderance goes by, I'll be another man yet," said another. But when that comes about, they are no nearer; some other obstacle ever and anon occurs to preventing their starting towards the gate of holiness; and if sometimes a start is made, it takes but little to turn them back again. Next to these was the prison of Presumption, full of those who, whenever they were urged of old to be rid of their Wantonness, or drunkenness, or avarice, would say: "God is merciful, and better than His word; He will never damn his own creature upon a cause so trivial." But here they yelped blasphemy, asking: "Where is that mercy boasted to be infinite?" "Silence, ye whelps!" said a huge, crabbed devil who heard them, "Silence! would he have mercy who did nought to obtain it? Would ye that Truth should make its word a lie, merely to gain the company of dross so vile as ye? Was too much mercy shewn you, a Saviour, a Comforter given you, and the angels, books, sermons and good examples? Will ye not cease plaguing us now, prating of mercy where it never was."

While making our exit from this glaring pit, I heard one moaning and crying dolefully: "I knew no better; no pains were ever taken to teach me to read my duties, nor could I spare the time to read and pray whereof I had need in order to earn bread for myself and my poor family." "Indeed," quoth a crookback devil who stood close at hand, "hadst thou no leisure to tell merry tales, no idle roasting before thy fire through the long winter evenings when I was up the chimney, so that no time might have been given to learning to read or pray? What of thy Sabbaths? Who was it that was wont to accompany me to the alehouse rather than the parson to the church? How many a Sunday afternoon was spent in vain, noisy talk of worldly things, or in sleeping, instead of in learning to meditate and pray? Didst thou act according to thy knowledge? Silence, sirrah, with thy lying chatter!" "Thou raving bloodhound!" exclaimed the condemned, "'tis not long since thou wert whispering other words in mine ear; hadst thou said this another day, it is not likely I would have come hither." "Ah!" said the devil, "it matters not that we tell you the hateful truth here; for there is no fear of your returning hence now to carry tales."

From thence we went past an enormous lair, the vilest I had yet seen, and the fullest of vermin, of soot, and of stench. "This," said he, "is the place of those who hoped for heaven because they were harmless, in other words, because they were neither good nor bad." Next to this foul pit I saw a great multitude sitting down, whose groans were more fierce than anything I had heard hitherto in hell. "Save us all!" cried I, "what makes these complain more than all others, seeing there be no pain, nor demon near them?" "Ah," answered the Angel, "if the pain without is less, that which is within is more,--here are stubborn heretics, the godless and unchristian, many of the worldy-wise, of apostates, of the persecutors of the church, and millions such as they, who have utterly been given over to the more bitterly painful punishment of the conscience, which now without let or ceasing has its full sway over them. "I will not this time," quoth conscience, "be drowned in beer, or blinded by rewards, or deafened by song and good company, or hushed or stupified by a thoughtless torpor; now I will be heard, and never shall the truth, the stinging truth, cease dinning in your ears." The will creates a desire for the lost paradise, the memory reproaches them with the ease wherewith it might have been gained, and the reason shews the greatness of the loss, and the certainty that nought awaits them but this unspeakable gnawing for ever and ever; so by these three means, conscience rends them more terribly than would all the devils in hell.

Coming out of that wondrous defile, I heard much talking, and for every word such wild horse-laughter as if some five hundred devils would shed their horns with laughing. But after I had drawn near to behold the very rare sight of a smile in hell, what was it but two gentlemen, lately arrived, appealing for the respect due to their rank, and the merriment was intended only to give affront to them. A pot-bellied squire stood there with an enormous roll of parchment, his genealogical chart, declaring from how many of the Fifteen Tribes of Gwynedd he had sprung, how many justices of the peace, and how many sheriffs there had been of his house. "Ha ha," cried one of the devils, "we know the merit of most of your forebears, were you like your father, or great-great-grandsire, we would not have deigned to touch you. But thou, thou art but the heir of utter darkness, vile whelp, thou art hardly worth a night's lodging; and yet thou shalt have some nook to await the dawn." And at the word the impetuous monster pierces him with his pitchfork, and after whirling him thirty times through the fiery welkin, hurled him into a hole out of sight. "That is right enough for a half-blood squire," said the other, "but I hope ye will be better mannered towards a knight who has served the king in person; twelve earls and fifty knights can I recount from mine own ancient line." "If thine ancestors, and thy long pedigree are all thy plea, thou canst go the same gate," quoth a devil, "for we remember scarce one old estate of large extent which some oppressor, some murderer or robber has not founded, leaving it to others as arrant as they, to idle blockheads or to drunken swine. To maintain lavish pomp, they had to grind their vassals and tenants, and if there be a beautiful pony or a fine cow which my lady covets, she will have them, and well it happens if the daughters, yea, even the wives, escape the lust of their lord. And the small free-holders around them must either vainly follow or give bail for them, resulting in their own ruin, the loss of their possessions, and the sale of their patrimony, or expect to be hated and despised, and forced to every idle pursuit. Oh how nobly they swear to gain the confidence of their minions or of their tradesmen, and when decked out in their finery, how contemptuously they look upon many an officer of importance in church and state, as if such were mere worms compared with them. Woe's me, is not all blood of one color? Was it not the same way that ye all entered the world?" "For all that, craving your pardon," said the knight, "there are some births purer than others." "For the great doom all your carcases are the same," said the imp, "everyone of you is defiled by the sin that took its origin in Adam." But, sir," continued he, "if your blood is aught better than another, the less scum will there be when shortly it will be bubbling through your body, and if there be more, we must examine you, part by part, through fire and through water." Thereupon, a devil in the shape of a fiery chariot receives him, and the other mockingly lifts him thereinto, and away he goes with the speed of lightning. Ere long the angel bade me look, and I saw the poor knight most horribly sodden in an enormous boiling furnace with Cain, Nimrod, Esau, Tarquin, Nero, Caligula, and others who first established lineage, and emblazoned family arms.

After wending our way onward a little, my guide bade me peer through a riven wall, and within I saw a group of coquetts busily primming up, doing and undoing the deeds of folly they were formerly wont to do on earth; some puckering their lips, some plucking their eyebrows with irons, some anointing themselves, some patching their faces with black spots to make the yellow look whiter, and some endeavouring to crack the mirror; and after all the pains to color and adorn, upon seeing their faces far uglier than the devils', they would tear away with tooth and nail all the false coloring, the spots, the skin and the flesh all at once, and would shriek most dismally. "Accursed be my father," said one, "it was he who forced me when a girl to wed an old shrivelling, and it was his kindling my desires with no power to satiate them, that doomed me to this place." "A thousand curses on my parents," cried another, "for sending me to a monastery to be taught to live a life of chastity; they might as well have sent me to a Roundhead to learn how to be generous, or to a Quaker to be taught good manners, as to a Papist to be taught honesty." "Fell ruin seize my mother," shrieked a third, "whose covetous pride refused me a husband at my need, and so drove me to obtain by stealth what I might have honestly obtained." "Hell, a double hell to the raging bull of a nobleman who first tempted me," cried another, "had he not by fair and foul broken through all bounds, I would not have become a common chattel, nor would I have come to this infernal place;" and then would they lacerate themselves again.

Thence we still descended until I saw an immense cavern wherein was such fearful clamor that I had never heard the like before--swearing, cursing, blaspheming, snarling, groaning and yelling. "Whom have we here?" I asked. "This," answered he, "is the Den of Thieves; here are myriads of foresters, lawyers and stewards, with old Judas in their midst." And it grieved them sorely to behold a pack of tailors and weavers above them in a more comfortable chamber. Hardly had I turned round when a demon, in the shape of a steed, bore in a physician, and an apothecary, and hurled them into the midst of the pedlars and horse cheats, because they had sold worthless drugs. And they too began murmuring against being allotted to such low society. "Stay, stay," cried one of the devils, "ye deserve a better place," and he pitched them down amongst conquerors and murderers. There were vast numbers in here for playing false dice and cheating at cards, but before I had time to observe them closely, I could hear by the door a huge crowd in wild tumult and shouts--hai, hw, ptrw- how-ho-o-o-p--as of cattle being driven along. I turned round to see the cause of it, but could perceive only the horned demons. I enquired of my Guide if there were cuckolds with the devils. "No," said he, "they are in another cell; these are drovers who wished to escape to the prison of the Sabbath-breakers, and are sent here against their will." Thereupon I look and saw that they had on their heads the horns of sheep and kine; and those that were driving them on, cast them down beneath the feet of blood-stained robbers. "Lie there," said one, "however much ye feared footpads on the London road erstwhile, ye yourselves were the very worst class of highwaymen, who made your living on the road and on robbery, yea and by the perishing of many a poor family whom ye left in hunger, vainly hoping for the sustenance of their possessions, while ye were in Ireland or in the King's Bench laughing at them, or on the road with your wine and lemans." On leaving the furnace-like cave, I caught a glimpse of a haunt, which for loathsome, stinking abomination, went beyond anything that I had set my eyes upon in hell,--where an accursed herd of drunken swine lay weltering in the foulest slime.

The next den was the abode of Gluttony, where Dives and his companions, wallowing on their bellies, devoured dirt and fire alternately, with never a drop to drink. A little below this, was a very extensive roasting-kitchen, where some were being roasted and boiled, others broiling and flaming in a fiery chimney. "This is the place of the merciless and the unfeeling," said the Angel. Turning a little to the left, where there was a cell lighter than any I had so far seen, I asked what place it was: "The abode of the Infernal Dragons," said he, "which growl and rage, rush about and rend one another every instant." I drew near and oh! what an indescribable sight they were! It was the glowing fire of their eyes that gave all that light. "These are the descendants of Adam," said my Guide, "scolds and raving, wrathful men; but yonder are some of the ancient seed of the great Dragon, Lucifer;" but verily I could not perceive any difference in loveliness between them. In the next dungeon dwell the misers in awful torment, being linked by their hearts to chests of burning coin, the rust of which was consuming them without end, just as they had never thought of an end to the piling of them, and now they were tearing themselves to pieces with more than madness through grief and remorse. Below this was a charnel vault where some of the apothecaries had been ground down and stuffed into earthenware pots with Album graecum, dung, and many a stale ointment.

Ever downward we were journeying through the wilderness of ruin, in the midst of untold and eternal tortures, from cell to cell, from dungeon to dungeon, the last alway surpassing in monstrous ghastliness, until finally we came within view of an enormous entrance hall, most unsightly of all that I had previously seen. It was very spacious and terribly steep, running in the direction of a gloomy red corner, full of the most inconceivable abominations and horrors: it was the royal court. At the upper end of the king's accursed hall, amidst thousands of other dread sights, by the light my companion shed, I could see in the darkness two feet of prodigious size, and so enormous as to overcast the whole infernal firmament. I inquired of my Guide what such immensities might be. "Thou shalt have a fuller view of this monster when returning," said he, "but, come now, let us to see the court." As we were going down that awful entrance hall, we heard behind us the noise as of very many people advancing; on stepping aside to let them pass I noticed four divers host, and upon enquiry I learnt that it was the four princesses of the City of Destruction leading their subjects as an offering to their sire. I distinguished the troop of the Princess of Pride, not only because they insisted upon the foremost position, but also because they stumbled now and then from want of keeping their eyes upon the ground. She led captive kings without number, princes, courtiers, noblemen and braggarts, many Quakers, and women innumerable and of all grades. Next to these came the Princess of Lucre with her sly and crafty followers--a great many of the brood of Simon Skinflint, money lenders, lawyers, userers, stewards, foresters, harlots, and some of the clergy. Then came the gracious Princess of Pleasure and her daughter Folly, leading her subjects--players of dice, cards and back-gammon, conjurers, bards, minstrels, storytellers, drunkards, bawds, balladmongers and pedlars with their trinkets in countless number, to be at length instruments of punishment to the damned fools.

When these three had taken their captives into the court to receive judgment, Hypocrisy, last of all, brings in a more numerous troop than any of the others, of every nation and age, from town and country, patrician and plebeian, men and women. In the rear of this double-faced legion we came within sight of the court; passing through the midst of many dragons and horned demons, and hell's giants, the dusky porters of the devil-hunted fire; I, the while, carefully hiding within the veil, we entered that direful edifice: wonderful, and of amazing roughness was every part of it; the walls were cruel rocks of burning adamant; the floor was one unendurable extent of sharp-cutting flint, the roof of fiery steel, meeting in an arch of greenish and blood-red flames, similar, except in its size and heat, to a tremendous circular oven. Opposite the door, upon a flame-encompassed throne sat the Evil One with the lost archangels around him, seated on benches of terrible fire, according to the rank they formerly bore in the region of light--the lovely whelps--it would only be a waste of words to attempt to describe how atrociously ugly they were, and the longer I gazed upon them, sevenfold more frightful did they become. In the centre above Lucifer's head was a huge hand grasping an awful bolt. The princesses, after paying their courtesy, immediately returned to their duties on earth. No sooner had they departed than at the King's bidding, a gigantic devil with cavernous jaws set up a roar, louder than the discharge of a hundred cannon, and as loud, were it possible, as the last trump, to proclaim the infernal Parliament, and behold, without delay, the court and hall are filled by the rabble of hell in every shape, each upon the form and image of that particular sin he was wont to urge upon men. After enjoining silence, Lucifer, looking steadfastly upon the chieftains nearest him, began and spake these gracious words:-

"Ye peers of this profoundest gulf, princes of the hopeless gloom, if we have lost the place we erst possessed, when, clothed with brightness, we dwelt in those celestial, happy realms; yet, however great our fall, 'twas glorious, nought less than all did we hazard, nor is all lost--for, behold regions wide and deep extending to the utmost bounds of desolate Perdition still 'neath our sway. 'Tis true we reign while racked with raging torment, yet, for spirits of our majesty, 'tis better to reign in hell than serve in heaven. And what is more, we have well nigh won another world, a greater than a fifth of earth has been for long beneath my standard. And although our Omnipotent Enemy sent his own Son to die for them, I, by my pleasing guile, gain ten for every one He gains through his crucified Son. Though we cannot aspire to do hurt to Him on high who hurls His all-conquering thunder, yet revenge by whatsoever means is sweet. Let us then bring ruin on the rest of men who adore our Destroyer. Well do I recollect the time when ye caused them, their armies and their cities, to be consumed in horrible combustion, yea and caused nigh all the dwellers on the earth to fall through the whelming waters into this fire. But now, although your strength and innate cruelty are no whit less, ye have been somewhat listless; were it not for this, we would have long ago destroyed the godly few, and brought the earth one with this our vast domain. But know this, ye grim ministers of my wrath, if ye henceforth be not up and doing, valiantly and with all haste, seeing the brevity of our alloted time, I swear by Hell and by Perdition, and by the vast, eternal gloom, that upon you, yourselves, my ire first shall fall, with pain the like of which the oldest amongst you hath never proved." Whereupon he frowned until the court became sevenfold darker than before.

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