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Read Ebook: Gambolling with Galatea: a Bucolic Romance by Dunham Curtis Herford Oliver Illustrator
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Ebook has 842 lines and 28628 words, and 17 pages
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GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA: A BUCOLIC ROMANCE
CURTIS DUNHAM
All Rights Reserved
Published May 1909
Fair reader , I pray you be not dismayed by the profundity of this discourse. Doubtless there are some light-minded observers who would have seen in the natural phenomena herein recorded the very quintessence of humor, the apotheosis of the comical. Such pretenders to scientific and literary eminence would entertain the same view of the noble Titanotherium Robustum, or the sublime Stegosaurus Ungulatus. They would have cast merry doubts upon the improving conversation between Balaam and his Ass; ridiculed the psychic resources of the Birds of St. Francis d'Assisi; scoffed at the gratitude of AEsop's Lion; denied the acumen of the Jumping Frog of Calaveras; yea, and presumed to say "scat" to the sacred Cat of Bubastis.
Fair reader , be warned against all such triflers with the important truths of nature. Life is earnest. Turn the page--read, ponder, and be wise.
C. D.
PRELIMINARY AND CONFIDENTIAL vii
GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA
The thing was incredible. It was intolerable--just cause for mutiny. Talk about injustice, arrogant denial of the equal rights of man and beast! Well, here was a spectacle calculated to make the heavens weep. Yet never had a June sky revealed a deeper shade of blue for fleecy clouds to sail upon. The wind that should have risen in a shriek of indignation blew softly around the corner of the barn, and was laden with fragrance from all the flowers that bloom. In the meadow just beyond the stone fence, the tall grass waved gently, whispering contentment to the brook that gurgled with happiness. Birds sang, grasshoppers chirped--
Clarence could stand it no longer. With his neck stretched far out of his stall window, the colt lifted up his voice and whinnied remonstrance.
"O Amanda! Why are we still prisoners, and the sun half-way up the roof of heaven? It is an outrage, Amanda. Come quickly and let us out."
Reginald--the round fat one with the tight kink in his tail--stood on his hind-legs inside the barnyard fence under the colt's nose, and voiced his personal grievance in short sharp squeaks.
"Let me out, let me out, let me out! My trough is empty. My flattened belly cleaves to my backbone."
On either side of him were Mrs. Cowslip and Gustavius, with their heads over the fence and their noses in the air.
"Amanda, O Amanda!" bawled the bull-calf, while his mother--she of the liquid eyes and the crumpled horn--lowed her gentle reminder:--
"Good, kind Amanda, this yard is barren; in the pasture the long grass is luscious. Amanda, O Amanda!"
And William, the big-horned and bearded one, butted foolishly at the hinges of the barnyard gate.
The others gave no heed to William's puerile devices. He was only an addle-pated goat anyway, devoid of reasoning power and puffed up with vanity. They put their noses together and considered the matter, the bull-calf wrinkling his yellow muzzle at Clarence's ear and dropping now and then a superfluous comment. Ordinarily the colt, having an exalted sense of his own superiority, would have indulged in no such familiarity with a placid old cow and her lubberly calf; but it was plain that the present occasion was one demanding the sinking of the individual in the organization. So Clarence patiently reviewed the situation, inviting their suggestions.
To go back to the events of the early morning. Why had that two-legged tyrant, who always responded so promptly to the vulgar name of Gabe whenever Amanda hailed him from the kitchen door, harnessed the mare and driven off, leaving them deprived of their customary liberty, and without a word of explanation? The act was contrary to the Professor's most sacred principle of equity for all living creatures, whether having four legs or only two.
"And yet just now you led us in our supplications to Amanda," observed Mrs. Cowslip. "Why did you not remind the Professor of our--"
"Ah!" broke in Gustavius, "you can trust the Professor to understand the needs of a bull-calf."
"You don't have to ask the Professor twice when you want your back scratched," grunted Reginald, his tail kinking tighter than ever with delicious memories.
"The Professor has a large, round, and most inviting stomach," commented William. "Never before have I spared such a stomach. Yet never have I felt the slightest inclination to butt the Professor."
Mrs. Cowslip turned her mild eyes inquiringly on the colt. "I suggest," she said, "that we remind the Professor--"
"My gracious!" interrupted Clarence with impatience. "Can't you fellows remember anything over-night? The Professor drove off behind my mother yesterday morning. There was a box beside him in the wagon. He wore his high hat. Mother came home without him. There's nobody left in the house but Amanda and that two-legged Gabe."
Just then Gustavius tossed his immature horns and bellowed:--
"Amanda! Amanda!"
With an apron over her head and a tin pail on her arm, Amanda had come into view beyond the angle of the barn.
"She's going to the strawberry-patch over beyond the orchard," said Clarence, excitedly. "Quick! Now, all together!"
Amanda had not the hardihood to ignore the resulting chorus of appeals to her. But she passed quickly on out of sight, after turning long enough to wave her hand and answer:--
"Jest be patient, you critters. Gabe'll 'tend to you when he gits home."
The colt nearly burst with indignation.
"That settles it," he shrieked, lashing out with his heels so that there was a great clatter of things loose in the barn. Then he drew back his lips, baring his teeth, and began snapping at the latch-string of the barn-door, which was just beyond his reach.
"It's a pity," said Mrs. Cowslip. "I've seen your mother let herself in that way many a time, when she was full of grass and eager for her midday nap."
"If I was only out of here, I could reach that string," grunted Reginald, with one thought for the colt and two for himself.
"Oh, we know all about you," retorted Clarence with exasperation. "If you could get out you'd scoot for those artichokes down by the brook and never look behind you, you fat, selfish, kink-tailed little beast."
"Just you try me," urged the pig, for he had great confidence in the colt's resources.
Once more their noses were close together, while Clarence instructed them in the details of a desperate effort designed to gain freedom for them all.
To contend with the smug incredulity of those millions of human kind who spend their lives in little brick-and-mortar boxes set one on top of another in long double rows is the fate of all chroniclers of the important aspects of nature. But truth is mighty and will prevail. Let us therefore proceed calmly with the facts.
When Clarence had repeated his instructions several times, Reginald gave three sharp, intelligent grunts and ran straight to the barnyard gate. With his stiffened snout he began furiously attacking the hard earth beneath the lower bar.
"Not there, you idiot!" squealed the colt. "The other end. The other end, where the iron hinges are!"
Reginald stood corrected. While the dirt flew from under the hinged end of the gate, Gustavius galloped foolishly around the yard with his tail aloft, and William, with a coolly calculating eye on those hinges, backed away slowly, with significance understood by all the other conspirators. Mrs. Cowslip looked on benignantly. Presently the pig got his sturdy shoulders under the gate and heaved with all his might. William, with head down, leaped to the assault. The crash of his horns on those hinges re?choed between orchard and wooded hills. But the gate was raised only an inch or two, and Reginald stuck fast. His squeals as he struggled would have melted a heart of stone. William backed away for another assault. It was while he was in mid-air that Clarence shrilled:--
"Not the hinges! The pig, the pig!"
William understood. This time all the weight behind his horns landed with a resounding smack on Reginald's inviting posterior. In the midst of heart-rending squeals the gate rose in the air and the barnyard prisoners looked out on liberty. Instantly Reginald was off in the direction of the artichokes.
"Stop!" shrieked Clarence. "As I'm a thoroughbred, you shall feel my heels among your spareribs!"
Reginald looked back, and seeing immediate menace in the lowered horns of Mrs. Cowslip and Gustavius, turned about, ran to the barn-door, stood on his hind-legs, seized with his teeth the leather string at which the colt was frantically snapping, gave one sharp pull--and the deed was done. If Amanda, a moment later, had looked up from her strawberry-picking, she would have seen, circling over the half-lawn, half-pasture between the barn and the house, all tails in the air, a triumphant procession consisting of one yearling colt, one cow with a crumpled horn, one bull-calf, one he-goat making short stiff-legged jumps with horns lowered, and one pig bringing up the rear with a tail now so tightly kinked that it lifted his hind-quarters clear of the ground at every second leap.
But Amanda's mind was glued on strawberries; and for the present other matters of moment require us, too, to leave the escaped prisoners to their own devices.
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