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Read Ebook: Nothing to Eat by Alger Horatio Jr Haliburton Thomas Chandler
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Ebook has 207 lines and 11836 words, and 5 pages
THE ARGUMENT
THE PROOF--THE QUEEN OF FASHION
THE OBJECT AIMED AT
WHAT ANOTHER POET DID
MERDLE THE BANKER
PLACES WHERE MORTALS DINE
THINGS THAT MORTALS EAT THERE
THE INVITATION
THE MERDLE ORIGIN
MRS. MERDLE AT HOME
MRS. MERDLE GOES TO MARKET
THE DINNER-BELL RINGS
THE DINNER TABLE TALK
MRS. MERDLE DOUBTS PARADISE'S UNEATING PLEASURES
MRS. MERDLE DISCOURSETH OF THINGS EARTHLY
MRS. MERDLE DISCOURSETH OF THINGS EATABLE
MRS. MERDLE ORDERETH THE SECOND COURSE
MRS. MERDLE DISCOURSETH OF HYGIENE AND FISH SAUCE
MRS. MEEDLE DESCRIBETH HER DOCTOR
MRS. MERDLE DISCOURSETH AGAIN ON DINNER
MRS. MERDLE ACCEPTETH OF A SLIGHT DINNER, SUITABLE FOR A WOMAN SUFFERING WITH DYSPEPSIA.
MRS. MERDLE DISCOURSETH OF WISHES AND HER SUFFERING
MRS. MERDLE DISCOURSETH OF PUDDING
MRS. MERDLE DISCOURSETH OF THE NECESSITY OF GOOD WINE AND OTHER MATTERS
MRS. MERDLE SUGGESTETH THAT DINNER BEING FINISHED, THE GENTLEMEN WILL SMOKE. IN THE MEANTIME, SHE DISCOURSETH
MRS. MERDLE, HAVING "NIBBLED A LITTLE" FOR TWO HOURS AT DINNER, RETIRETH FROM THE TABLE UNSATISFIED
THE POET MORALIZETH.--HE DISCOURSETH TO THOSE WHO GORGE AND COMPLAIN
HE DISCOURSETH OF THE WHEREFORE OF BACHELORISM
HE DISCOURSETH OF WHAT SOME MORTALS LIVE FOR
HE IMPLORETH MERCY UPON THOSE WHO ARE CONDEMNED WITH FASHIONABLE FOLLY TO MARRY, AND ILLUSTRATETH THEIR CONDITION
HE IMPLORETH MERCY FOR OTHER UNFORTUNATE BEINGS
HE DISCOURSETH OF A COMMON PRAYER
HE DISCOURSETH OF TROUBLE AND SORROW
HE MORALIZETH UPON WHAT A DAY MAY BRING FORTH
PLATE I, NOTHING TO EAT
PLATE II, THE "DINING SALOON"
PLATE IV, KITTY MALONE'S INHERITANCE
PLATE V, THE MEAT MARKET
PLATE VI, THE DINNER
NOTHING TO EAT.
The Argument
THOUGH famine prevails not at all in the city; Though none of starvation have died in the street; Yet many there are now exciting our pity, Who're daily complaining of nothing to eat.
The every-day cry and the every-day fare, That's every day heard where the Livewells are dining, Is nothing to eat, or else nothing to wear, Which naked and starving rich Merdles are whining.
There's Kitty Malone--Mrs. Merdle 'tis now-- Was ever on earth here before such a sinner; Protesting, excusing and swearing a vow, She'd nothing worth eating to give us for dinner.
Why Kitty, if starving for want of a meal, And had'nt a cent in the world to buy meat, You wouldn't exclaim with a more pious zeal, "I'm dying of hunger--we've nothing to eat!!"
The Proof--the Queen of Fashion
The point I advance, if it need confirmation, I'll prove by a witness that few will dispute, A pink of perfection and truth in the naion Where fashion and folly are all of a suit.
'Tis "Merdle the banker"--or rather his wife, Whose fashion, religion, or music, or dress, Is followed, consulted, by many through life, As pilots are followed by ships in distress; For money's a pilot, a master, a king, Which men follow blindly through quicksands and shoals, Where pilots their ships in a moment might fling To destruction the vessel and cargo and souls.
'Twas money made Kitty of fashion the queen, And fortune oft lends queens the scepter; So fortune and fashion with this one we've seen Her money and fortune in fashion has kept her; While slaves of the queen with her hoops rules the day, Expanding their utmost extent of expansion, And mandates of fashion most freely obey, And would if it bid all their souls to extinction.
The Object aimed at.
What another Poet did.
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