Read Ebook: Jesse James' Desperate Game; Or The Robbery of the Ste. Genevieve Bank by Ward William Author At Arthur Westbrook Co Cleveland Ohio

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THE FORMATIVE PERIOD

The best age at which to marry--Incompatibility of temperament--A happy marriage need not be a successful one--The evils of early marriage--The wedding night, its medical aspect--The honeymoon--When marital relations are painful--Times when marital relations should be suspended--The first weeks and months of wifehood--The formative period--A true marriage--A wife's true position in the household--Only 5% of happy marriages--Period of adaptation--Differences of opinion--Differences of principle--The attainment of success--Arguing trifles--You must know what you want--The right kind of wife--Contributing to her husband's efficiency--What are the requisites of efficiency--Good health--Thoroughly cooked meals--Rest at night--Having a system--Enough exercise--Freedom from worry--Do your part--The first quarrel--Fault finding--The husband's efficiency depends upon the wife--Work must be interesting--The wife's part ... PAGE 331

ADVICE TO YOUNG WIVES

HOW TO ACHIEVE

SPARE MOMENTS

The study habit--The germ of self-culture--Millions of tiny cells in our brain--The economic value of the study habit--Two ways of gaining knowledge--Happiness in the company of those striving for higher ideals--A young wife's incentive to self-culture--The difference between moral and mental disloyalty--The study habit creates its own interest--Nosophobia, or the dread of disease--"Keep still and be well" ... PAGE 375

THE HOME

DOMESTIC QUALITIES

A good housekeeper and home-maker--What constitutes a good housekeeper--Preparation and selection of meals--Washing dishes--Pots and pans--Dusting and cleaning--Work cheerfully and be thorough--Don't be a dust chaser--Don't get the anti-sunshine habit--Air your rooms--The ideal home--The medical essentials of a good meal--What makes the home--Working for something--The average housewife's existence is slavery--What shall we work for--Making ends meet--Rest and recreation--Try a nap--Get enough sleep at night--Go out of doors--Take a vacation now and then--Life insurance--Owning a home--The cheerful wife and mother--The indifferent wife and mother--Husband and wife ... PAGE 389

HOW WE CATCH DISEASE

How we catch disease--How germs enter the lungs--How germs work in the body--The function of the white blood cell--How an abscess is formed--The evil habit of spitting in public places--Sunlight and germs--Why it is necessary to open windows--Facts about tuberculosis--The tendency to disease--The best treatment for tuberculosis--Consumption is a preventable and a curable disease--When delay is dangerous--What to eat and wear in hot weather--Scientific dressing--Drink plenty of water--What to drink when traveling ... PAGE 409

DISEASES OF WOMEN

DISEASES OF WOMEN

THE PATENT MEDICINE EVIL

THE PATENT MEDICINE EVIL

What mothers should know about the patent medicine evil--Tonics--Used by temperance people because it could "stimulate"--Stomach Bitters--Blood Bitters--Sarsaparilla--Celery Compound--Malt Whisky--Headache remedies--Pain Powders--Anti-headache--Headache Powders--Soothing syrups--Baby Friend--Catarrh powders--Kidney Pills--Expectorant--Cough syrup--Lithia Water--Health, wealth and happiness for a dollar a bottle--New Discovery for Consumption--Consumption Cure--Cancer cures--Pills for Pale People--Elixir of Life ... PAGE 451

THE PATENT MEDICINE EVIL

THE PATENT MEDICINE EVIL

How patent medicine firms and quacks dispose of the confidential letters sent to them. Patent medicine concerns and letter brokers--The patent medicine conspiracy against the freedom of the press--How the patent medicine trust crushes honest effort ... PAGE 481

THE PATENT MEDICINE EVIL

The patent medicine evil and the duty of the mothers of the race--"Blood money"--The people must be the reformers--Mothers' resolutions ... PAGE 489

"The achievement of an object is dependent upon our determination. Effort is a matter of will. Failure is a product of misdirected determination."

THE FORMATIVE PERIOD

The Best Age at Which to Marry--Incompatibility of Temperament--A Happy Marriage Need Not Be a Successful One--The Evils of Early Marriage--The Wedding Night, its Medical Aspect--The Honeymoon--When Marital Relations are Painful--Times when Marital Relations Should be Suspended--The First Weeks and Months of Wifehood--The Formative Period--A True Marriage--A Wife's True Position in the Household--Only Five Per Cent. of Happy Marriages--Period of Adaptation--Differences of Opinion--Differences of Principle--The Attainment of Success--Arguing Trifles--You Must Know What You Want--The Right Kind of Wife--Contributing to Her Husband's Efficiency--What Are the Requisites of Efficiency--Good Health--Thoroughly Cooked Meals--Rest at Night--Having a System--Enough Exercise--Freedom from Worry--Do Your Part--The First Quarrel--Fault Finding--The Husband's Efficiency Depends Upon the Wife--Work Must be Interesting--The Wife's Part.

THE BEST AGE AT WHICH TO MARRY

In order to determine the best age at which to marry, we must be guided by certain fixed standards. We must find out from statistics the average age of the parents of the best babies. We must determine and analyse the qualifications of what constitutes the "best" babies, according to the eugenic ideal. We should give heed to the fixity of temperamental characteristics in order to determine their adaptability to conditions that prevail at certain ages. We should select an age in advance of the period at which science has determined individuals to have outlived any hereditary tendencies.

We have abundant proof that the best babies are born of parents between the twenty-third and the twenty-sixth years. We know also that the age which responds, with the fullest degree of plasticity, to temperamental characteristics, is in the early twenties. We know, likewise, that inherited tendencies may be said to have been outlived at or about the twenty-second year. The ideal marrying age, therefore, is, for both male and female, approximately the twenty-third year.

The physical, mental and moral development of both men and women, at this period, evidence a high degree of adaptability, and are responsive to the institution of marriage. Their hereditary traits, if any previously existed, assume a dormant form at this age. They have cultivated the temperamental qualities which they will retain, with few modifications, throughout life. On the other hand, their dispositions are responsive to reason, and are capable of readjustment. Their temperamental characteristics are plastic, and under favorable conditions it is possible for both to evidence a degree of sympathy and toleration that bespeaks future harmony and success. No marriage can result in mutual happiness and success if one of the participants is temperamentally incapable of changing his or her convictions. One of the fundamental essentials to peace in the home is the quality of adaptation to circumstances, and no other virtue will be called into existence oftener than this quality. At this age, a man is eager to contribute to the contentment and happiness of his partner, even if it is necessary to sacrifice his own whims and opinions, and a woman, at this period, is temperamentally so constituted that she will respond to the same impulses.

Incompatibility of temperament simply implies that two individuals are so constituted that they cannot, or will not, adapt themselves to the temperamental characteristics of each other. This condition is one of the most prolific causes of unfortunate marriages. Age has a great deal to do with this situation. Men over thirty have unconsciously developed habits of judgment and are too set in their opinions and ways to accommodate themselves easily, or without friction, to the temperamental differences that will undoubtedly exist in their wives. The spirit of adaptation, which is a characteristic of younger years, is lacking, and a mental readjustment is scarcely to be expected. We, therefore, frequently observe in the marriage relations of certain individuals a spirit of friendship existing rather than that of companionship which should be the quality that binds them together. Statistics prove that "affinities" creep into the lives of those who marry early, or in those who marry after thirty. This form of domestic infelicity may be rightly regarded as a product of "incompatibility of temperament."

A happy marriage need not be a successful one. Some couples attain happiness through sorrow, grief, and failure. The so-called happy marriage, like happiness itself, is only a myth, made up of anticipation and memory. You have only to look into the calm and wrinkled faces of old women, and talk to them to discover that the outcome of unselfishness and abnegation forms the nearest approach to happiness in married life or out of it. It is the bearing of the burdens of life that constitutes its happiness.

THE EVILS OF EARLY MARRIAGE.--No woman has the vitality to stand the strain of maternity before the twenty-third year. If a girl marries at eighteen years of age she gives the world children totally unfit to struggle with its problems. At about twenty-two years she may give one child of value to the world, but all others following will be increasingly unfit. In early marriages children are apt to come too frequently, and this is one cause of infant mortality. Statistics show that children born with an interval between them of only one year have a mortality of one hundred per cent, higher rating than those born with an interval of two years. And if these children are the progeny of very young mothers the percentage is even greater. The percentage of children who are malformed and idiotic is greater among those born of too young parents. It has been shown that the child can only inherit what the parents possess. If the parents are not of an age when all the powers are at their highest, the child is robbed of just this amount of growth and force lacking; no amount of education or training can supply this loss.

There is another feature of early marriages that should receive serious consideration. A girl of eighteen or twenty has not reached that period of growth where certain inherited tendencies will show. If she has inherited a predisposition to consumption she may outgrow this period provided she is permitted to reach her full growth without subjecting her constitution to any strenuous physical or mental strain. If, however, this girl marries and becomes a mother, the incident effect upon her health will most likely weaken her to the extent of bringing to the surface the inherited tendency. Many mothers succumb to just such conditions, where had they remained single until a later period they could have assumed the responsibility of maternity without any evil consequences.

The idea that by an early marriage a woman can train and change the inborn characteristics of her husband is a mistake. Few women can reform a husband after marriage. If she cannot reform him before marriage she will never do it afterward. These inborn traits will have their way despite anything she may be able to do to change them--only the man himself can control and govern them. During the period of this temperamental transformation the function of parenthood should not be exercised. Only when a man's character is fully matured should he be permitted to transfer it to another generation.

The idea has been advanced that early marriages will tend to preserve youth from sowing wild oats. The woman who is the victim of this delusion will reap a harvest of discontent and misery. Any man who needs the sacrifice of a woman to cultivate the art of self-control is not a fit citizen, far less a fit husband or father. A man who is willing to bring children into the world before he is a self-governed animal does not understand the first principles of race-regeneration, and it is the duty of parents to educate their sons and daughters in this fundamental idea. To be an efficient parent one must be mentally, morally, and physically developed.

THE WEDDING NIGHT;--ITS MEDICAL ASPECT.--The fundamental object of true marriage is the propagation of the species. Woman plays the more important part in the consummation of this duty inasmuch as she is the origin and depository of the future being. It is, therefore, most important that she should not be wholly ignorant of the nature and responsibilities of her position. Suffering, disease and death may result as a consequence of ignorance of these matters. It is the duty and the privilege of medical science to state, in language which all may understand, the facts regarding this interesting human event.

It would seem as though suffering to some degree, characterized each epoch in a woman's life; menstruation, marriage and maternity. Much may be done, however, to lessen the pain necessary to the consummation of marriage. Not infrequently difficulty is experienced in this respect and great care, forbearance and gentleness must be exercised or unnecessary pain and injury may result. It is quite possible to cause serious injury by unrestrained impetuosity and this must be guarded against. It is sometimes absolutely necessary to consult a physician, especially in cases where greater resistance is experienced than is to be expected. These are rare cases.

The first conjugal approaches are usually accompanied by a slight bleeding. They may not be so, however, and the absence of blood has no significance or meaning. The most suitable time to select for marriage is midway between the monthly periods. This is a season of sterility, and as the first nuptial relations may be followed by indisposition, pain and nervous irritability, it would be well to select a time when these ailments shall have an opportunity to subside before the appearance of the disturbances incident to pregnancy.

THE HONEYMOON.--From a medical standpoint there is great need of a radical change in the way in which this nuptial period is spent. For many weeks previous to marriage the bride's existence is a long drawn-out period of nervous tension. Instead of enjoying mental and physical rest and repose, every moment of the time is crowded with exacting incidents, which, ordinarily, would wreck the nervous system of a robust individual. If this exciting preparatory experience ended in a period of rest and recuperation, it might not prove physically disastrous, instead of which, however, we know that the bride is subjected to a series of physiological tragedies which few weather with impunity. At no time of her life is she more in need of being surrounded with all the comforts of home and the intelligent direction of sympathizing friends who understand and appreciate the crisis through which she is passing. Custom, however, dictates that she shall be hurried from place to place at a time when the bodily quiet and the mental calmness and serenity so desirable to her should be the only object in view.

Marital relations still continue painful and will be so for a few weeks. Too frequent indulgence at this period is a fruitful source of various inflammatory diseases, and often occasions temporary sterility and ill health. In many cases constitutional disturbances and nervous disorders have their beginning at this time and these unfortunate conditions are directly caused by the discomforts incident to the silliness of the social custom which deprives the woman of the rest and quiet necessary.

The awakening of the sexual function is a tremendously important medical incident in the life of any woman. The simplest mind may adequately understand why such an experience should be consummated in a cheerful environment of domestic comfort and peace. To drag a girl around sight-seeing, when her nerves are on edge and supersensitive; when she is physically unfit, weary and not at all interested; when her brain is apprehensively busy with secret conjectures in which her husband even may not participate, is a species of torture which the average bride submits to with the best grace possible because social custom dictates the stupid programme.

Mothers should approach this subject with tact and diplomacy, but they should, nevertheless, approach it with firm intentions to persuade their daughters to consider the situation from a common sense standpoint. The custom of the honeymoon survives because young brides do not appreciate the facts involved. It is the mother's duty to acquaint them with the truth, and no sensible mother will plan, or agree to a honeymoon that involves continuous discomfort and possible serious consequences to the health of her daughter at the beginning of what should be the happiest period of her life.

WHEN MARITAL RELATIONS ARE PAINFUL.--Nature did not intend that the act by which the earth is to be replenished should be painful. If therefore, pain is a constant characteristic of this function, it is an evidence that disease exists and it should be given attention at the earliest possible moment. A displaced, congested womb is most frequently the cause. Such displacements most likely are a result of imprudence in dress, constipation and general negligence on the part of the victim. To delay or postpone assistance in such cases is dangerous, while on the other hand, relief is prompt and as a rule satisfactory if taken in time.

TIMES WHEN MARITAL RELATIONS SHOULD BE SUSPENDED.--There are times when such relations are eminently improper. There are certain legitimate causes for denial by the wife.

Intoxication in the husband is a good reason for refusal. Idiots and epileptics have been produced as a result of one parent being intoxicated when fecundation took place. Many cases are on record whose history is well authenticated where the mental faculties of the offspring have been totally destroyed.

Convalescence from a severe sickness is a just cause for sexual abstinence. The existence of any local or constitutional disease which would be aggravated by marital relationship is also a just cause of refusal. The existence of a contagious disease renders a refusal valid. Sexual intercourse should never be permitted during the menses. Pregnancy is unquestionably a just cause for refraining from all marriage duties.

THE FIRST WEEKS AND MONTHS OF WIFEHOOD.--The daughter is established in her own home: she is now the young wife, the prospective mother. What can we say that will be helpful at this period--those wonderful first weeks and months of wifehood? Her guiding star will unquestionably be the unconscious lessons she has absorbed from the tactful talks with mother. She will unwittingly pattern her conduct, to a large extent, after her, and follow the routine mother adopted in the old home. But there is a new factor to be considered. Her life, present and future, her possibilities, her very happiness, is dependent upon the husband. The old saying, that, "you must live with a man to really know him," she will find to be all too true. The story of her future life might be safely told if we could know how she will meet the new vicissitudes. She has known her husband only as a sweetheart, she has clothed him with virtues that exist only in her imagination, will he measure up to her expectations? She is watchful and tactful,--the little mother-talks she remembers. She did not believe when mother told her, that he had qualities which she would only find out after marriage, but she knows now. She is learning that household duties are exacting and fretful; that, though married, life still has a few thorns. She finds out also that the long day, when husband is at business, affords many opportunities for reflection and serious thought. These moments of seeming leisure are the moments of destiny. They are the introspective moments, when she weighs and measures out for herself sympathy, if she is not made of the right stuff, or she makes strong resolutions, and prepares herself mentally to win out in the new life. They are the moments when her subconscious intelligence is trying to express itself in the spirit of truth and honesty, when she weighs and measures and analyses the exigencies of the new environment. Her destiny depends upon the inspiration that is impressed upon her brain as a result of these self-communings.

Most of us would not follow exactly the path we trod had we the opportunity to live our lives over again. The young wife has the chance to "do it over again." She has the opportunity of a new beginning. She should regard this opportunity as the most precious gift she will ever obtain. Many would give untold wealth for her chance. Happiness and riches lie at her feet. All the experiences that make life worth living are within her grasp. It all depends upon herself. An enthusiast is apt to be insistent. If his cause is just we gain by his insistency and determination. We are enthusiasts on this subject, we want you to believe in our disinterested sincerity. We believe,--in fact we know, that the first few months after marriage is the critical period in every woman's life so far as the attainment of happiness and success is concerned. No physician can practice medicine for years and fail to have this truth impressed upon him again and again.

Every intelligent person knows that most young girls enter into the marriage relationship without a real understanding of its true meaning, or even a serious thought regarding its duties or its responsibilities. Maternity is thrust upon these physically and mentally immature young wives, and they assume the principal role in a relationship that is onerous and exacting. We know that the duties of wife and mother require an intelligence which is rendered efficient only by experience. We know that young wives acquire habits which undermine their health and their morals unwittingly. And we also know that the product of this diversified inefficiency is what constitutes the decadence and the degeneracy of the human race. Is it any wonder that mistakes occur, that heartaches abound, and that homes are degraded?

What is the remedy? Education! Systematized instruction; an efficient and everlasting propaganda of education carried into the homes of the thousands of young wives and mothers who are willing, but who do not know how to play their part creditably and efficiently.

THE FORMATIVE PERIOD.--The period prior to marriage is the formative period, the character building years. Matrimony is to be the test of how we have built our castle. The success of the matrimonial venture--for every marriage is an experiment--depends absolutely upon the result of the first year. We would, therefore, seriously, and earnestly, request the young wife to think deeply upon this problem and not to ignore the fact that the success of the venture is absolutely dependent upon her efforts to a very large degree. Some may assert that the husband is the essential equation, so far as happiness and success is concerned in the matrimonial venture. We do not think so. A home is what the woman makes it. A man may not be an ideal husband, or even a good father, though his home, to his children, may be heaven itself if the wife is a born mother and a good woman. On the other hand a man may be patient, hard working, self-sacrificing, good father, but he cannot make a happy home, for his children, if his wife is not the right kind of a woman.

A true marriage implies love and confidence, and in the vast majority of marriages these qualities can be regarded as tangible, and may be used as any other business equity is used, for a certain time. The length of time depends upon the use to which this asset is put during the early months of marriage. It is the utilization of this time, how best to employ it, that concerns us here.

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