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AN EVENTFUL WEEK.
GRAND OLD BILLEE.
There were three sailors of London city Who found their ship at sea, Although with programmes, authorised and unauthorised, Most carefully they had loaded she.
There was greedy JOE and glosing JIMMY, And the third was named Grand Old BILLEE; And they were reduced to the piteous prospect Of grubbing on one split pea.
"Oh, BILLEE, we're going to chuck you over, So prepare for a bath in the Irish Sea." When BILL received this information, His dexter optic winked he.
"First let me take an observation From the main-top over the Irish Sea!" "Make haste, make haste," says glosing JIMMY, Whilst JOE he fumbled his snickersnee.
So BILLY went up to the main-top-gallant mast, And began to count o'er the Irish Sea; And he scarce had come to eighty-six, or so, When up he jumps. "Land Ho!" shouts he.
"I can see Ould Ireland! There's the Bay of Dublin; With a distant glimpse of Amerikee. And the Parliament upon College Green, bhoys, With a right good glass I can see."
So they went ashore, and the crew when mustered Kicked Guzzling JOE, and cashiered JIMMEE. But as for Grand Old BILLEE, they gave him Of the old "Deal Castle" the captaincy!
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
Thus ARTHUR, quite querulous. Have noticed sometimes, when a man hopelessly in the wrong, he is inclined to turn on his best friend and rend him. This Clongorey business, truly, a bad one. When, just now, SEXTON moved adjournment of House, in order to call attention to it, Conservatives rose with one accord and went forth. They know WINDBAG SEXTON of old, and thought he was probably going to favour them with one of his usual exercises. Better this once have stopped and listened. Interesting to see how two hundred English gentlemen would have voted had they learned all about Clongorey. Happily less, far less, than usual of the windbag about SEXTON. His story, in truth, needed no assistance from wind instrument. Farms at Clongorey simply strips of reclaimed bog land, on which struggling tenants had built miserable shanties; got along in good times; just managed to keep body and soul together, and pay the rent--rent on land they had literally created, and for huts they had actually built. Two years ago came a flood; swamped them. Asked landlord to make temporary reduction on rent, to tide over troublesome times. Landlord offered a pitiful trifle. What was thought of this shown by County Court Judge, who, on cases that came before him, permanently reduced rent by thrice amount of temporary reduction proffered. Judge further suggested that arrears should be wiped out. Landlord declined to listen to suggestion. Tenants drowned out by the cruel river, dragged out by the relentless landlord. Stood by whilst the emergency men wrenched roofs off their huts, and set fire to the ruins. A neighbour offered them shelter, enlarging out-buildings on her farm. Down came the police on workmen engaged in this act of charity. A hundred police, paid for by tax-payer, swooped down with fixed bayonets on Clongorey, arrested labourers, handcuffed them, marched them off to police barracks.
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