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: Cobwebs from an Empty Skull by Bierce Ambrose Dalziel Edward Engraver Dalziel George Engraver - Satire; American wit and humor; Fables
Fables of Zambri, the Parsee. Brief Seasons of Intellectual Dissipation. Divers Tales. 1. The Grateful Bear. 2. The Setting Sachem. 3. Feodora. 4. The Legend of Immortal Truth. 5. Converting a Prodigal. 6. Four Jacks and a Knave. 7. Dr. Deadwood, I Presume. 8. Nut-Cracking 9. The Magician's Little Joke 10. Seafaring. 11. Tony Rollo's Conclusion. 12. No Charge for Attendance. 13. Pernicketty's Fright. 14. Juniper. 15. Following the Sea. 16. A Tale of Spanish Vengeance. 17. Mrs. Dennison's Head. 18. A Fowl Witch. 19. The Civil Service in Florida. 20. A Tale of the Bosphorus. 21. John Smith. 22. Sundered Hearts. 23. The Early History of Bath. 24. The Following Dorg. 25. Snaking. 26. Maud's Papa. 27. Jim Beckwourth's Pond. 28. Stringing a Bear.
PREFACE
The matter of which this volume is composed appeared originally in the columns of "FUN," when the wisdom of the Fables and the truth of the Tales tended to wholesomely diminish the levity of that jocund sheet. Their publication in a new form would seem to be a fitting occasion to say something as to their merit.
Homer's "Iliad," it will be remembered, was but imperfectly appreciated by Homer's contemporaries. Milton's "Paradise Lost" was so lightly regarded when first written, that the author received but twenty-five pounds for it. Ben Jonson was for some time blind to the beauties of Shakespeare, and Shakespeare himself had but small esteem for his own work.
Appearing each week in "FUN," these Fables and Tales very soon attracted the notice of the Editor, who was frank enough to say, afterward, that when he accepted the manuscript he did not quite perceive the quality of it. The printers, too, into whose hands it came, have since admitted that for some days they felt very little interest in it, and could not even make out what it was all about. When to these evidences I add the confession that at first I did not myself observe anything extraordinary in my work, I think I need say no more: the discerning public will note the parallel, and my modesty be spared the necessity of making an ass of itself.
FABLES OF ZAMBRI, THE PARSEE.
A certain Persian nobleman obtained from a cow gipsy a small oyster. Holding him up by the beard, he addressed him thus:
"You must try to forgive me for what I am about to do; and you might as well set about it at once, for you haven't much time. I should never think of swallowing you if it were not so easy; but opportunity is the strongest of all temptations. Besides, I am an orphan, and very hungry."
"I think," said the nobleman, rising and laying down the oyster, "I ought to know something more definite about your antecedents before succouring you. If you couldn't agree with your mistress, you are probably no better than you should be."
People who begin doing something from a selfish motive frequently drop it when they learn that it is a real benevolence.
A rat seeing a cat approaching, and finding no avenue of escape, went boldly up to her, and said:
"Madam, I have just swallowed a dose of powerful bane, and in accordance with instructions upon the label, have come out of my hole to die. Will you kindly direct me to a spot where my corpse will prove peculiarly offensive?"
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