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: Nothing to Do: A Tilt at Our Best Society by Alger Horatio Jr - Satire; United States Social life and customs Poetry
of life Date their origin back to this man and his wife, While from Adam the first are descended the few Who are blest with long purses and nothing to do. An exceedingly simple and practical way Of explaining the present distinction of classes, Conclusively showing that much finer clay Is required for the rich than the general masses.
Augustus last week at the Potiphars' party Met Flora M'Flimsey, of Madison-square, Who having found out from her friend Miss Astarte That he--a great catch--it was thought would be there, Although in a state of extreme destitution In regard to apparel befitting to wear With her usual promptness and firm resolution Represented the case to her hard-hearted p?re; Who firmly resisted her touching entreaties. Until she was forced, in her utter despair, To remind him she never could hope to be married, Unless he provided her something to wear. A state of the case so extremely appalling, And fraught with such numberless bills of expense To be run up hereafter, that, trouble forestalling, He yielded at once, without further defence. At the same time he said she was perfectly free To place herself under a husband's protection; And, hard as the sacrifice doubtless must be, Provided she made a befitting parti, That he, as her father, would make no objection.
Her purpose achieved, on the very same day Miss Flora went out on a tour of inspection To all of the principal shops in Broadway, Where at length she succeeded in making election Of a gossamer fabric of delicate texture, Whose merit consisted in being so rare, That one, though attired in it twice or thrice folded, Might almost be said to have nothing to wear. At the party which followed , Of all that were present not one could compare, In point of dry goods and surpassing magnificence, With Flora M'Flimsey, of Madison-square. She came, saw, and conquered. Her eyes' brilliant lustre-- Or that of her diamonds--effected the coup Which brought to her feet--not the great Filibuster, But the heir of two millions and nothing to do. The marriage, I hear, is deferred for the present-- The bride requires three months at least to prepare. On the first of November, should weather prove pleasant, There will be a grand wedding at Madison-square. The alliance I hold to be every way proper, Since Flora M'Flimsey, in wedding the heir Of two millions in prospect , May hope to have something, in future, to wear. While Augustus Fitz-Herbert, Sir Arthur's descendant, In paying her bills for dry goods and bijoux, With all the etceteras thereto attendant, Will find quite as much as he wishes to do. O, ye who in life are content to be drones, And stand idly by while your fellows bear stones To rear the great temple which Adam began, Whereof the All-Father has given each man A part in the building--pray look the world through, And say, if you can, you have nothing to do! Were man sent here solely to eat, drink, and sleep, And sow only that which himself hoped to reap,-- If, provided his toil served to gain his subsistence, He had answered in full the whole end of existence,-- Where then would be poets, philanthropists, sages, Who have written their names high on History's pages? They stood not aloof from the battle of Life, But, placing themselves in the van of the strife, Marching manfully forward with banner unfurled, Left their deeds and their names a bequest to the world. Have you ever Reckoned up your outstanding account with society, Or considered how far, should your life close to-morrow, You would merit her real and genuine sorrow? If, in dying, the world be no wiser or better For your having lived there, then you are her debtor; And if, as Faith, Reason, and Scripture, all show, God rewards us in heaven for the good done below, I pray you take heed, idle worldling, lest you With that better world should have nothing to do!
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE:
Obvious printer errors have been corrected. Otherwise, the author's original spelling, punctuation and hyphenation have been left intact.
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