: Stephen H. Branch's Alligator Vol. 1 no. 13 July 17 1858 by Branch Stephen H Editor - New York (N.Y.) Politics and government

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Transcriber Notes

Life of Stephen H. Branch. 1

A Primary Election at Peter 2 Cooper's Funny Little Grocery-Groggery, at the corner of the Bowery and Stuyversant Street, in 1820.

A Precious Fossil. 2

Editorial Career of James 3 Gordon Bennett.

Fools. 3

Advertisements. 4

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1857, by

STEPHEN H. BRANCH,

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern District of New York.

Life of Stephen H. Branch.

While Horace Greeley and myself were in conversation over our breakfast at the Graham House, Goss escorted Fred Douglas and lady to the table, who took seats near us. I knew not who they were, nor do I know that Greeley did, but I think he did. They had arrived the previous night, and this was my first knowledge that Goss kept colored boarders, who politely helped them, and took a seat beside them, and conversed on their favorite theme of anti-slavery. I stared at Goss and Fred and lady and at Greeley, who gave me a sly glance, and ate his bran mush and molasses as though nothing unusual was transpiring. I finished my mush, and retired, and felt that Goss had perpetrated a gross impropriety. And although I was then teaching negroes in the kitchens of New York, amid slush and kettles and frying pans, and thus evinced my warm desire to elevate the whole African race, yet my feelings were so grossly outraged by this unnatural and disgusting amalgamation, that I went to Major Mordecah M. Noah, and told him the whole story, who opened a tremendous broadside on Greeley, who dared Noah to reveal the name of his informant, although he knew I must be the man. I besought Noah not to disclose my name, as I did not desire to have a controversy with Greeley about Graham bread and Africans. Noah promised he would not, but he discharged such caustic and unceasing broadsides, and poked so much fun at Greeley, for breakfasting with negroes, that he again ferociously demanded Noah to disclose the name of his cowardly informant. I again implored Noah to stand firmly, and not to divulge my name. Noah said that he did not see how he could avoid it, as Greeley had made such a savage demand. But I induced him, after long and plaintive importunity, not to expose me, and Noah soon withdrew his forces from Africa, and attacked Greeley on his native hills of America, on the subject of the Tariff and other themes. And in their deluge of words and detraction, I did not molest Noah, nor any of his descendants, save to pawn some of my traps occasionally to pay Goss my weekly board. Greeley snarled and growled at me for weeks, but he had a conciliatory nature, and magnanimously forgave me, and, we were better friends than ever. I admired the humor and genial nature of Major Noah, and I respected the transcendental talents of Horace Greeley, but I did not wish to be devoured by their gladiatorial collisions, although I was the sole origin of their editorial combat. Rhode Island was now on the verge of civil war. My father addressed the first assemblage at the old Town House, in Providence, against the revolutionary doctrines of Thomas Wilson Dorr, and harangued the friend's of Law and Order in various parts of the State. My brother Henry came to New York, and told me that my father had received letters from the insurgents, warning him to prepare to meet his God, and was insulted by ruffians while crossing Providence bridge, who threatened to destroy his property, if he did not cease his inflammatory speeches against them, and that father defied them, and told them that they might burn his houses, but they could not burn his land. I went to Providence, and was saluted by father in tones of the purest affection. I slept at his house, for several nights, and joined the City Guards, and my company was assigned a position on the west side of the bridge, to guard the city from sunset till sunrise. News came that old General Green's Kentish Guards, of East Greenwich, commanded by Captain Allen, had fired on the insurgents at Pawtucket, five miles from Providence, and killed and wounded half a dozen of the rebels, and my Company was immediately sent to relieve the Kentish Guards. Just prior to entering Pawtucket, the Dorr women belched from their doors and windows the most disgusting ejaculations, and I heard one virago exclaim: "An't you a precious gang of soldiers? You look as though Providence had taken a powerful emetic." This was a hard dose, but it came from one who bore the form and garb of a lady, and we had to swallow it without a murmur. Ex-Governor Earle came from Pawtucket on the wings of lightning, and told us it would be instant death for us to enter Pawtucket without more men, but, much to my regret, our Captain ordered us to follow him into the town, whose streets were crowded with desperate outlaws, who were hooting and hurling stones and fragments of iron at the Kentish Guards, who were literally surrounded by the mob. When Captain Allen saw our Company approach, he instantly arrayed us against the insurgents for fatal action, and, taking out his watch, told the beligerent thousands present, that if they did not disperse in ten minutes, he would fire upon them. I suffered more in these ten minutes, than in all my life, because I feared the rascals wouldn't go, and we would have to fire at them. I had the dyspepsia most horribly, and had all my pockets stuffed with chunks of Graham bread, for a warrior's rations, and was reduced to an utter skeleton, and could hardly hold my heavy musket perpendicularly, and my bones fairly rattled when the bloody words of Captain Allen fell upon my ears. I had never fired a gun but once, and that was at a snake at Topsfield, Massachusetts, and although the muzzle was within an inch of his head, the ball passed into the ground, and the snake fled before I could reload my gun. And yet I feared I might shed human blood, and perhaps kill one or more, if Captain Allen ordered my Company to fire at the Dorrites. And I was very sure I would fall like a dead man, from the effect upon my dyspeptic nerves of fright and thundering noise caused by the simultaneous discharge of one hundred muskets. And I actually envied the rebels who could escape from peril, while I could not, as I had a gun, cap and knapsack, and was hemmed in by my comrades. I could not exchange my clothes, and was closely watched by the insurgents, and if I left the ranks, I might be shot by my own companions in arms, and if I escaped their fire, the insurgents themselves might instantly dispatch me. The fatal ten minutes had nearly expired, and I supposed my time had come, as I felt sure if we fired, that two thousand ruffians would rush upon us, and hack us to bleeding fragments. I looked up to the brilliant stars, but with all their cheerfulness and fascination, I feared to have my soul approach their glittering realms. I looked down upon the green earth, and I desired not an eternal abode for my butchered carcase below its fragrant surface. To kill a man I thought would be horrible, and forever cause unpleasant dreams. But to be killed myself, by the enemy, seemed still more horrible. And I resolved to put nothing but powder in my gun, so that I could not kill or wound the Dorrites. I regretted that I could not slyly tell them of my humane resolves, so that they could evince similar clemency towards me, when we came together hand to hand, and foot to foot, and nails to nails, and nose to nose, and belly to belly, and teeth to teeth. The ten minutes elapsed, and the rebels remained and yelled and stoned and defied us. Captain Allen passed along the line, and told us we had got bloody work before us, and besought us to be firm, and reload our muskets quickly, and fire at the hearts of our adversaries, and we would conquer them, although they numbered thousands, and we only hundreds. I came near falling at this intelligence, and leaned very heavily against the soldiers on either side of me, who threatened to shoot me if I didn't stand straighter, which straightened me mighty quick. Captain Allen spoke of American patriotism, and our duty to our native State, and to the United States, and of the valor of Green and Perry, but I scarcely heard what he said, as my terrified mind was contemplating the horrors of an instant and bloody doom, and my gloomy prospects beyond the grave. Captain Allen takes out his watch, and draws his sword, and I look towards Heaven, and engage in a most solemn silent prayer, as I now expect to die in about five minutes.

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