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THE CUSTOMS LOUNGE
BY E. A. PROULX
Anything can happen in the customs lounge--since they let those Earth people in!
There were usually a few Customs Inspectors in the lounge, waiting to begin their shifts, hanging around trading news and incidents and drinking the bad, lukewarm kasser that was a standing joke in the Immigration-Customs Service.
Old Grag was telling for perhaps the eightieth time of a success of his when he was young in the Service.
"... They had this small box of sticky, squashy sweets with them. The young one was eating one. Many another Inspector would have passed them through, but I thought the young one chewed too much and too loud. So I said, 'Mind if I have one?'
Inspector Flimp blew one of his noses loudly.
"'Name!', I call. 'Gladdis Cracklegill,' or some other weird earth name she screams at me. 'Too much name,' I say. 'You've got enough name there for five of you. Which will you choose, Glad, Is, Crack, El or Gil?'
"Well, it took me a while to make her understand me--my earth accent wasn't too good then, and she was slow-headed, having only one, like all earthers. But I finally made her understand what I wanted to know, and then, by Clag, what a ramping frowst she did make!
"It was while she was screeching at me that I noticed her teeth were pretty big, even for such a huge beast as she was. So I secretly turned on the Dento-Spyer, right into her jaws, and what a sight on the view screen! Each of those big teeth was false and filled to the top with Earth seeds she was trying to smuggle!"
"Earthers!" exploded young Nask. "They make me sick!"
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