: Creepin' Tintypes by Tuttle W C Wilbur C - Short stories; Western stories; Adventure stories; Motion picture industry Fiction; Harper Ike (Fictitious character) Fiction

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Produced by: Roger Frank and Sue Clark

CREEPIN' TINTYPES

by W. C. Tuttle

There ain't no question but what me and "Dirty Shirt" Jones would like to go back to Piperock. Sort of a call of the wild, I reckon, and at that there ain't many places wilder than Piperock.

Me and Dirty started in to help "Scenery" Sims, the sheriff, put "Tombstone" Todd in jail. It was dark and Scenery didn't have no handcuffs, so me and Dirty helped him handle his prisoner. Me and Dirty have peered upon the wine when it was red and neither of us cared much for Scenery with his squeaky little voice; so when Piperock awoke the next morning they had to dynamite the jail to get their sheriff out of his own cell. No, I don't know where Tombstone went.

Thereupon Piperock riseth in a body and follers me and Dirty plumb to the border. Maybe they wanted to congratulate us, but we're very, very modest. Me and Dirty ain't bad. We was just joking with Scenery.

"The West," says he, "is the bunk. There ain't none such."

"What for kind of a West does you require?" asks Dirty, like he was trying to sell the feller a necktie.

"Wild," says he. "Wild like the writers tell us about. The kind of a West that Buffalo Bill knew. I've hunted for it loud and long, but she ain't and that's an end to it. Have another drink?"

"Mister," says Dirty, "you came West but you never got there. Somehow you missed Piperock."

"Whither lieth said Piperock?"

"Lieth is a good word," nods Dirty. "In direction, she's south of here and as the crow flies she's a hundred miles."

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