: Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosis by Stekel Wilhelm Van Teslaar James S James Samuel Translator - Homosexuality; Neuroses

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d a bastard she transferred towards all men.

Another case: Former officer, 38 years of age, mother said to have been a very nervous woman. Very shy and bashful as a child in the presence of older persons or strangers. At high school had to repeat the same class twice, was coached and succeeded at last to pass the army examination for officer. After a few years was dismissed from the army because he had mishandled his man-servant, went to South-West Africa, there settled as a farmer, and as a volunteer participated in several small riots.

His first sexual feelings arose around the 12th year; he contends that till that time he knew absolutely nothing about sexual matters. At that age an experience brought his attention to the subject of sex for the first time; he played circus with a younger sister and with his 10-year old uncle and sat on the latter's back. While imitating a rider's movements he noticed that his penis became stiff and he had a pleasurable sensation wetting himself in front. He did not know the meaning of this occurrence but was too shy to tell anyone about it. Shortly after that he tried deliberately to reproduce similar situations; whenever he succeeded he also tried to attain ejaculation. He insists that he was not attracted particularly to his uncle, whom alone he had used for this form of gratification, nor to any other boy or man, his only desire at the time was to achieve ejaculation. Later during his high school years, when he had opportunity to gratify himself in the same way, he met a young colleague of his own age, a strong and beautiful boy, who appealed to him very strongly and with that boy playing the passive role he indulged more and more frequently in sexual deeds. In fact as soon as he met that particular boy the thought occurred to him that he would like to have him for the gratification of his sexual feelings in the manner peculiar to himself. During play he used all manner of excuses to climb upon his friend's back and to imitate a rider's galloping movements until he had ejaculation. Subsequently he found frequent occasion to use other colleagues in the same way. After drinking it was particularly difficult for him to restrain himself; that is why he frequently had to do with soldiers while intoxicated and one day he was caught and this led to his dismissal from the army. In order to get rid of his unnatural inclination he took up a girl, had normal intercourse with her a few times but without any pleasurable feeling on his part, although in order to accomplish this he had to suppose himself riding a man in the manner customary with him, and eventually he acquired a gonorrheal infection. Then he migrated to South-West Africa, but even there was unable to master his inclination, felt himself impelled to maintain relations with young Hottentots, was caught at it, sentenced to jail, and finally banished from the Country.

In this case the gonorrheal infection seems to have put an end to his heterosexual period.

In this case the gonorrheal infection and the trivial incident during the journey through the Orient furnished the occasion for the outbreak of homosexuality. But is not the subject in error regarding the strength of his homosexual predisposition? It is interesting to note that his homosexual attitude is promptly beatified and idealized through the addition of psychic factors. Indeed, the homosexuals display a greater love intoxication than the heterosexuals. Such a degree of love frenzy as is displayed by the homosexuals is hardly ever seen among the heterosexuals. Homosexuality represents a harbor of refuge, an attempt to lose one's self exclusively in one direction, which must be conceived as an attempt on the part of the psyche to neutralize all other tendencies by the overemphasis of that supreme passion.

We find frequently that the homosexuals contend that their previous heterosexual leanings were exclusively physical. Psychically their love relations must be exclusively homosexual. In fact it is common to find men sublimating into friendship their craving for psychic love while woman remains with them merely an instrument for sin .

Homosexuality often develops also in women following an infection:

Let us consider closely the case of an exalted nature like that girl. She goes through her first graceful love fever, she is about to become a true woman, she thinks "him" a princely man, a "majestic" personality when unexpectedly she undergoes the experience of witnessing that very God-like man behave like a common beast.... Jealousy and a revulsion of feeling unite in her at the terrible sight rousing such a tremendous affect that forever after she feels an unspeakable horror of all men.

A remarkable parallel is furnished by the next case which I record from among my own observations:

Our subject has had a number of chances to get married but she withdraws coyly from every man the moment one comes close to her. She feels a certain inclination towards older married men and she understands in consequence how a woman might become interested in a friend's husband. "When I did find a man whom I liked, I was unlucky," she declares, "for I discovered that he was already engaged to a friend of mine." Truly she fell in love only with girls and women. Her first romantic attachment was to a woman school teacher, whom she also visited at her home. That teacher wanted this wealthy girl to marry her brother and brought the two into contact as often as possible. She liked the brother because he looked so very much like her beloved friend. But if the sister was not in the room their conversation lagged and she could talk only in monosyllables. She sent flowers and costly gifts to her teacher. Her supreme desire was to sleep once in the same bed with that teacher and she often dreamed of it. She even proposed to take her on a journey. The teacher could not go and hesitated also because she found her pupil's attentions too oppressive. The teacher actually suffered on account of her admirer's deep jealousy, for the girl turned ill if she so much as found other girls visiting her. At any rate, quite a circle of girls in the class admired the teacher.

Later she fell in love with a girl friend whom she embraced and kissed warmly numberless times because it gave her a wonderful warm feeling to do so. On the other hand the kisses of an uncle made no impression on her whatever. No man interested her in the least. For a long time she did not know that she was homosexual, but she was well aware since her childhood that she was unlike other children. She was always as wild as a boy and her mother frequently said to her: "there are ten rough boys in you!" She climbed trees, ran around wildly and always preferred to play with boys, did not care for dolls, coaxed to be given a saddle horse and a gun until her father was driven to despair over her and exclaimed sometimes: "you are really a spoiled boy!"

During the analysis she recalled a number of homosexual and heterosexual experiences. Already at 12 years of age she had an experience with an uncle who came to her in bed and played with her. She could not recall whether they indulged in coitus that time. With girl friends she also had various adventures. She confesses in fact that she has been in the habit of masturbating since her 12th year, when she was taught by a girl, and that at one time she often indulged in the phantasy that a man was having coitus with her. In fact, as late as her 16th year she fell "heels-over-head" in love with a friend of her father's. He was much younger than her father but belonged to the same circle.

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