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: Captain Billy's Whiz Bang Vol. 2. No. 16 January 1921 America's Magazine of Wit Humor and Filosophy by Various Fawcett W H Wilford Hamilton Editor - American wit and humor Periodicals

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Editor: W. H. Fawcett

If the day looks kinder gloomy And chances kinder slim, If the situation's puzzlin' And the prospect's awful grim; And perplexities keep pressin'-- If hope is nearly gone, Jest bristle up and grit your teeth And keep on keepin' on.

OUR MOTTO:

Published Monthly by W. H. Fawcett, Rural Route No. 2 at Robbinsdale, Minnesota

Entered as second-class matter May 1, 1920, at the post office at Robbinsdale, Minnesota, under the Act of March 3, 1879.

Things started off wrong in the beginning when Adam had to give up one of his ribs for Eve, but in spite of this, he, like a game sport, tipped his fig leaf to her upon their first introduction. All ran smoothly until Eve raised Cain, and thus our ancestors kept up a constant increase until Noah got inside dope about the flood, whereupon he built the Ark.

Our troubles might have been relegated to the word finis, but Noah stuck up a good old boat and saved his wife, his animals, and their wives. Then Nero played havoc with Rome and made the fiddle famous as the city burned. We've been fiddling ever since.

Job next started showing his rights with the off shoots of the chosen people and they said they would stone him to death if he didn't stop. He came right back by saying, "If you do I'll turn my bears loose and they will eat you." The people did, Job did and the bears did. Then Job was King.

I'd like to take some of your time and present the argument between Anthony and Cleopatra, but there was so little between them that it is hardly worth while.

In the days when Cleopatra and Anthony were such good friends, Anthony had just won a big battle and he sent his runners to Cleopatra to tell her to doll up in her glad rags and they would go out stepping. On the way to her flat he met his runners returning. They announced, "Oh, Kind Sir: Cleopatra is down with Tonsilitis."

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