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Words: 5935 in 3 pages
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Transcriber's note:
A LITTLE BOOK OF BORES
OLIVER HERFORD
London Gay and Hancock, Ltd.
All Rights Reserved
A is the Autograph Bore Whom Authors and Actors deplore, Tho' it's evident quite If the Dears ceased to write They'd deplore even more than before.
D is a Decadent Dreary Whose Works are depressing and eerie; If you ask his excuse For existence, or use, I'm afraid I can't answer your query.
F's a Frankly Familiar Friend Who loves free advice to extend; He declares, for his part, He knows nothing of Art, But he thinks that your time you misspend.
G is a Grumbler gruff Whom everything puts in a huff; If he chances to gain Heaven's gate, he'll complain Of his Halo or Harp, like enough.
H is a Humorist glum. Why sits he so silent and dumb? He's concocting some Gay Impromptu to say When the Opportune Moment shall come.
J is the "Johnnie"--a Thing Much affected by Fairies who sing. He is human in shape, With the brain of an ape, And generally tied to a string.
L's the Loquacious variety, That is found in all sorts of society. He will drink in the sound Of his own voice--till drowned In a species of self-inebriety.
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